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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to get really irritated with other parents at a playcentre

13 replies

annec555 · 03/10/2010 16:06

Both my threads in this section have been about playcentres - maybe I should avoid them in future!

We have a lovely big playcentre near us - massive multi-level main play area, mini go-carts, roundabout, huge cafe, party area and an unusually nice baby and toddler area with a slide, ballpool, soft play area and soft climbing area. The baby area is next to the cafe seating and fenced in with a gate that is clearly marked with a height-restriction and a notice saying it is strictly for under-2s.

It is a really nice place for the little ones and we do enjoy going, BUT I would enjoy it a lot more if the parents of the babies and toddlers didn't have to constantly "police" the area and evict much older children. The staff come past regularly and do a sweep of older children, and they are strict about the age and height restriction, but as soon as they go, the older children are back. I have absolutely no problem in telling them they need to leave, but it is pretty embarrassing to have to do so while their parents are standing by watching you evict their arguing offspring, and making no attempt to intervene.
I genuinely do not understand why so many parents think the rules have no purpose and don't apply to their children. I can't keep count of the number of parents I have heard saying to their children "you shouldn't really be in there" while holding the gate open to let them in. And they all react in the same way when another parent or a staff member tells their child to leave. They all say indignantly to the child "See? I told you so." It doesn't matter if you tell them they can't be in there if you then go on to open the gate for them and stand by while they rampage around, flattening toddlers, smiling in that slightly ineffective way while everyone else glares and mutters.

Today I had to personally evict about half a dozen 6/7/8 year-olds in front of their parents who just stood their like shop dummies, doing and saying nothing and had to get staff over three times to remove more children who refused to go on the basis "my mum said I could". On one of these occasions I was also trying to extract my 14 month-old's head from under a large ball that they were pushing over the top of him and the two childrens' mothers were still not saying anything. A dad and a gran were also evicting a similar number of children so it was pretty constant. There was another incident were two children of about 5 and 6 had a fight and in the process flattened a 1 year old. The mother of the younger of the two fighting children shouted at the other mother that her child was too old to be in there anyway, but seemed absoluely gobsmacked when the father of the crying baby tapped her on the shoulder and said "er, neither should he".

I don't understand the reasoning of these parents. Do they genuinely think that their child's enjoyment takes precedence over the safety and enjoyment of all other children? Or are they simply so ineffective that they can't prevent their children from doing exactly what they like? Or do they think the rules are silly and are making a point? Or are they just a bit stupid?

I keep looking around and wondering whether these parents are going to be the same throughout their childrens' lives and whether I am still going to be getting irritated by them at the school gates and at birthday parties for the next 17 years!
Someone please tell me that this is normal and that playcentres actually morph perfectly sensible parents into helpless idiots, otherwise I am going to lock us all in the house until DS turns 18!

OP posts:
PinkieMinx · 03/10/2010 16:11

YANBU - most of the parents I meet at groups, playcentres, etc are utterly selfish.
They either think little Araminta/Theobald are SO ULTRA SPESH they are exempt from the rules which apply to other plebs or they're the muvvers of Jayden/Brayden/Astispumante who couldn't give a fuck and wot you looking at cahhhnt.
Just go about your business evicting their children and feeling superior (cos you probably are Wink )

cidre · 03/10/2010 16:16

Last time I went to a play centre( and probably will be last time) some child spat at me. Actually stood behind the cagey meshy thing, and spat so it landed on my paper/food. I called him on it, he, of course denied it, I did not back down, his mum came up. To be fair, the woman looked EXHAUSTED. I just said he shouldn't do that and left(giving daggers). The mum obviously had enough on her plate.
Not saying that applies in your case OP, but sometimes parenting is hard...

annec555 · 03/10/2010 16:17

Just found another thread about playcentres in Chat - including mention of the very playcentre I was talking about! So glad it is not just me who harbours these thoughts!

OP posts:
heymango · 03/10/2010 16:17

YANBU - however, I would occasionally let in my older child if I was in the baby area with my little one, and he was outside on his own. This would be on the condition that he sat quietly and played with the baby.

Think you will always find there are other parents who are not as considerate as you would like - just like in all walks of life!

Susiewho · 03/10/2010 16:20

YANBU!

Chil1234 · 03/10/2010 16:25

I find any congregation of parents and young children in large numbers slightly stressful. Open farms, playcentres, playgrounds, theme-parks, parties..... brr. It would be a lot more civilised, I think, if only the children were let through the turnstiles and the parents were confined to a coffee-shop well out of sight in the car-park somewhere. The children could get on 'being children', the staff could keep order with cattle-prods and it wouldn't all end up with parents looking daggers because some trespassing five year-old maliciously pushed over their toddler on purpose and don't think I didn't see you!.

Yes... stay away from crowded playcentres. Nasty places.

Marjee · 03/10/2010 17:47

Yanbu this drives me crazy! Last week I told off a group of children (aged about 6) for running through the under 3s section at softplay and knocking over my 11mo ds. They left, then one of the mothers came in and took most of the ride-on toys out for them to scoot around the cafe on Angry

larakitten · 03/10/2010 19:44

YANBU.....but I do break this rule at our local soft play. The younger bit is for up to age 2....but I do allow my three year old DD in as she is tiny petite and just wouldn't survive against the bigger kids. She is also too small to climb onto the bigger equipment so can't actually get in....

Not being pfb here , but DD is tiny and I don't want her getting trampled and having a miserable time...

I await my flaming.........

annec555 · 03/10/2010 21:26

No flaming from me, Larakitten! I don't have a problem at all with the children who are right on the borderline, or even very slightly over but in there with their mum and a younger baby for example. But most of the older children in there today were at least 5, and there was one who must have been at least 8.
In any event there is a height and age restriction so if you have a small 3 year-old everyone would assume she was allowed in anyway.

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 03/10/2010 21:33

YANBU It's my major hate in soft play. I have barred myself from going back many times over the years, it's no good for my blood pressure.

Ours also have empty vodka bottles in the sanitary bins in ladies loo. The owner tells me he has never seen such filth in toilets ever. Makes me ashamed to be a woman.

My theory, which seems to be borne out, is the wildest most disruptive kids are the ones crying out for mum's attention, which she is usually giving to a plate of chips and popping out for fag breaks Angry

lazycow007 · 03/10/2010 21:39

YANBU

myboysarethebest · 03/10/2010 21:52

We have one we go to regularly and can completely understand with OP.
I honestly think the owners who set it up have designed it so poorly that the older kids area is just to close and too easy to access the baby/toddler area.
A gate does not keep them out. I feel for mums with younger kids mine are now out of this area but it was a nightmare this weekend.
Best to go when the older kids are all in school.

annec555 · 03/10/2010 21:53

Perfumedlife - this particular playcentre is slap bang in the middle of one of the wealthiest parts of London and without exception, the parents in question have cut-glass accents and are clutching Gucci bags. So more likely to be taking a quick champage break and a plate of caviar!
But vodka bottles in the bins?!

OP posts:
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