Evening ladies, my husband and I get on very very well with his parents (my inlaws). However my dh's brother married a complete beast of a human being, that no one really gets on with. I have rarely spoken to her as she's a known trouble maker, and my bil (my dh's brother) has not even held my ds, and has nothing to do my dh since he married her (she's 12 years his junior and 2 years younger than me at my old age of 24). My fil's birthday is coming up in November and my mother in law rang me to ask if we'd like to go for a meal, however my brother in laws wife will be there (she not so long ago threatened to hit me and my child-she's rough) so we have declined and said we'd go take him for a meal the night before. I feel terrible because perhaps he'd like all the family together, but on the other hand I don't want there being a horrible atmosphere and I don't think I can bring myself to be near her. AIBU for declining...am I being petty?