to hate the bloody "i'm not sure what i'm doing yet" brigade when you try to make arrangements with them AKA, I'll see if I get a better offer club!!?

[minxofmancunia]

My sister does this, as does a very good friend of mine. She's let me down last minute AGAIN and I had to text HER to find out as a friend of hers she's not seen for a while is suddenly in town and she's going out with her instead.

why did you tell me to get you a bloody theatre ticket then!!! .

I HATE that whole inability to make an arrangement thing, "um i'm not sure, i'll have to let you know, err probably". Sorry don't do spontaneity, I have 2 dcs and I need to be bloody organised if i want any kind of a social life!!

GRRRRRR

YANBU at all! I have one or two friends who do this and I always feel that the implication is that their time is more important than mine and that I have time to waste sitting about waiting, which couldn't be further from the truth. Funnily enough, I don't tend to see much of them now as I can't be arsed waiting around and not making other arrangements, only to be let down at the last minute.

Yesterday a group of mums from DD's class were invited round to another mum's house so we could all catch up with a mum whose DD was in nursery with our DCs but goes to a different primary school. When the mum doing the inviting texted her to confirm on Thursday she replied saying she was meeting another friend- cheeky cow! Don't think anyone will be rushing to invite her over again.

YANBU, but I have to admit I tend to be a bit like this myself. It isn't one of my best qualities. I just don't like being pinned down, and I find it really hard to be organised and make plans in advance.

Frankly, I drive some of my friends insane. Sorry.

Could it be that maybe they don't want to meet you and don't want to say it to your face?

I'm not usually putting off appointments but there are a few select people where I am guilty of doing the same. I talk to them and generally get on but am just not sure if I want to hang out and do stuff with them.

Either way, I would not dream off not showing if we had arranged something, especially at the last minute. That is just rude.

So I guess YANBU

Being disorganised is one thing, but saying you'll do something (like going to the theatre or coming to meet a group of friends) and letting someone make arrangements and go to expense (theatre ticket, nice cakes etc), and then blowing them off (sometimes without the courtesy of a phone call) because you have had a better offer is a whole different kettle of fish.

Minx - I hope she will pay you for the theatre ticket - if she doesn't, I wouldn't be booking anything else for her without cash up front. Some people are less likely to be willing to lose money than they are to blow off a friend/relative.

I do this with my MIL. At the weekends she tries to pin us down, but my DH and I like to just chill out with our DCs or do our own thing and not have to be home at a certain time. (Also, if I'm being brutally honest, I just don't always want to see her).

That said, I don't cancel plans that I have made with people. I'm a great believer in standing by whatever you agree to do.

Just marking my place to see if this thread is worth posting on later.