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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with this child?

42 replies

FernieB · 02/10/2010 17:12

She comes out of school each evening and rushes over to give me a report on what my DD's have been up to during the day. I would really prefer to hear this from my own kids. Would anyone else find this annoying?

OP posts:

hmc · 03/10/2010 15:15

My personal forte SixtyFoot - is to take offence regularly and often, where none is intended by the other party, particularly on Mn

DaisyDaresYOU · 03/10/2010 15:16

Well my mum only used a vile tone,because alot of the tales the girl told were vile and untrue.I don't suggest swearing to a 10year old,just tell her to bugger of instead if she's upsetting your dc

ChocHobNob · 03/10/2010 15:19

My son did this last week. Came out of school with his friend and proceeded to tell her Mum that she had been naughty in assembly. I went and told him it's not nice to tell tales. Kids are just gossips.

TheFirstLady · 03/10/2010 15:24

I don't suggest swearing to a 10year old,just tell her to bugger of instead

Is bugger off not swearing where you come from then?

DaisyDaresYOU · 03/10/2010 15:25

Chochobnob He only done it once and you corrected him don't worry.Iv known a kid do this to my ds,it didnt bother me,it only becomes a problem if it's happening all the time and dc gets upset.

DaisyDaresYOU · 03/10/2010 15:30

No i wouldn't say its a swear word but i thinks its where i was brought up.Where most swearwords are cunt wanker shitoh and that's to thier kid's :O

DaisyDaresYOU · 03/10/2010 15:31

JoanHolloway · 03/10/2010 15:34

Why don't you say. Hold, on, They want to tell me themselves. What have you been doing today?

anyabanya · 03/10/2010 16:59

I have no experience with children over the age of 3 months (DS's current age) but it seems a little sad that this girl wants so badly to talk to an adult. And her mum stays in the car? It seems a little off if you know what i mean,. Coudl she be just desperately wanting someone to take notice of her, but obviously cannot tell you about her day?

i really do not know, it just seems a bit strange to me.

nickschick · 03/10/2010 17:02

As soon as you see her ,start telling her something you saw like a pussy cat trying to climb a tree,comment on what shes wearing 'oh thats a very smart pretty coat you have' ask her about her,it wont take 3 mins and she will love it (and your dc will tell you their news themselves).

overmydeadbody · 03/10/2010 17:06

Just tell her you are not interested.

I think it's good to be firm with children, especially when they least expect it.

nickschick · 03/10/2010 17:11

overmy - thats sad - these children are little people we are shaping them as adults.

Theres firm and theres rock solid .

Jut be nice to the little girl who knows what problems shes having.

bigTillyMint · 03/10/2010 17:16

Be up-front, and in the nicest possible way, tell her that you would like her to stop reporting on your DD's as they want to tell you themselves, but that you are always happy to have a chat with her about herself or anything else she'd like to chat about.

Do you think she's a bit lonely or unhappy? It's not the way most children that age behave.

annec555 · 03/10/2010 17:18

I remember children at my junior school who did this. There was one, a year younger than me, who would always try to get to the mums first to tell them exactly what their children had been up to. Her particular favourite pastime was finding the mum of someone who had been upset at school due to an argument with another child and report this to the mother. It used to drive us all mad as age about 9, the last thing you want is your mum getting involved in your little daily tiffs. I still remember clearly when she told my mum I had been crying after a (very minor) disagreement with another girl. Unfortunately the girl in question and I had history but were getting on fine at that time but my mum over-reacted due to the history and insisted on speaking to the other girl's mum with me tailing after her wailing "muuuuuuum, don't!" and the younger child jogging after us giving more detail about the argument.
I also remember that when we told each other tall tales, a favourite thing was to convince each other that the story was true by saying "if you don't believe me ask my mum" and then desperately trying to escape with your mum before the other girl could actually come and ask your mum if it was true that you had three older sisters who lived in an orphanage or that your dad was Prince Charles.
So not a new thing I guess but I sympathise if it is as annoying to be the mum on the receiving end as it was to be the child trying to stop it happening!

claig · 03/10/2010 17:28

agree with HeftyNorks, she is just trying to be friendly. Also agree with bigTillyMint, she sounds a bit lonely and wants to be befriended, particularly as you say her mum waits in the car and doesn't come out to see her, like most of the other parents do.

IAPJJLPJ · 03/10/2010 17:49

I have this problem as I go into read with the children in my ds1 class. When they start I will stop them mid-sentence and tell them I am not interested and it is up to the teacher to deal with any problems as she is in charge and not me.

They soon shut up once they realise they are not going to get my son in trouble

Original poster

FernieB · 04/10/2010 08:24

Thanks for responses. Agree with claig and TillyMint, she is clearly lonely (she phoned us 4 times yesterday). I can't bring myself to be too direct with her. I feel really sorry for her as I don't think she is given much attention at home. She is one of 2 girls who always asks me if they can come round after school.

I shall try to be in deep conversation with another mum this afternoon when they come out and if that doesn't work I'll ask her questions before she can open her mouth to tell tales.

OP posts:

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