to think that some friends i made while dd baby might not work now

[littlebylittle]

I just think I'm a very different parent to the one I was when I had one little newborn and pretty straightforward circumstances. My life has moved on at a different pace to some of those early friends and things that were important then don't seem to be now. And their experiences with having dc number two seem so different to mine that I'm not sure what we've got in common any more. Feel nervous when I see them and makes me feel as if I have slipped up in my parenting when maybe I feel (on more rational days) that my priorities are straighter than they were in early days. Not sure this makes sense! But if it were a relationship I'd be asking serious questions!

Not really sure what you are saying/asking.

However, my belief is that if you are questioning friendships, then they are not working and if you are over-stretched in other areas (work or family), working at friendships isn't a priority. I've had this philosophy for some time (way before DS) and have maintained great friendships without stress. I don't expect too much from my friends but get a lot from them and (I hope - am pretty sure) vice versa.

YANBU at all, friendships and priorities change.

Are they friends you made in your Antenatal group or similar baby support network? If so...let em go. The fact that they make you nervous is a good sign they're too earnest.

Just realised you are talking about friends made while your DD was a baby. Can't help there I'm afraid as in the short time I had before returning to work, I failed to make any real friendships with other mums in my area . For me friendship takes a long time to start and needs more time to "take root", I only took 6 months maternity and didn't manage to make a local mum connection in that time. I wish I had, but I'm not that good at that kind of thing .

There is a bit of pressure to "be friends for ever" with the people you meet with your first baby (can't talk about NCT but I bet there's lots of that sort of pressure there). Anyway: you have to be true to yourself. there are some people who are great "baby friends", then some "school gate" friends, etc etc who aren't really friends but are part of your network and your children's friends. Don't feel guilty about not wanting to be part of something that doesn't work for you. They won't be bothered anyway: this sort are always too self absorbed to look outwards.