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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no you can't come

13 replies

Whocantakeasunrise · 01/10/2010 22:09

Sorry another party invites moan!

Sent out the invites with 4 weeks RSVP date on them.

Majority of people replied within a week of receiving them - fantastic.

3 people hadn't heard from 3 weeks before RSVP, and as required booking, wanted to check that they had a) received invite, and b) were aware I had to have the decision by the RSVP date, no flexibility for later.

2 of the people apologised for not getting back I said no need as they weren't late and they said they would be coming.

3rd person said they hadn't got back to me, as they weren't sure whether they were coming or not, so I should assume no, but if it was yes they would let me know before RSVP date.

RSVP date arrived, I'd heard no more, so went with the numbers I had - now almost a week later I've received a text saying we've changed our mind, we now want to come.

I've replied sorry too late all booked and paid for.

Now thinking am I being harsh, it will cost me more to add them, but I may be able to add them at a cost, should I respond (once I've checked of course) I've found I can add more, but the additional cost over the top of the original price is £x (likely to be almost double the original) you will have to pay the difference?

AIBU?

OP posts:
larks35 · 01/10/2010 22:13

I think you would BU to charge them for your DC's party but ultimately YANBU to stick with the "no".

Original poster
Whocantakeasunrise · 01/10/2010 22:16

Ok to stick.

Just to clarify it'd only be the additional cost, of them not replying when told to, not the whole cost of their invite. IYSWIM.

OP posts:
GeekyGirl · 01/10/2010 22:21

To me, any extra costs would be beside the point. They were rude to ignore the deadline AND SHOULD BE PUNISHED!

AgentZigzag · 01/10/2010 22:24

Even just saying you'll charge them the additional cost will kind of put a dampener on the 'fun' of the party, and might make you seem a bit tight.

If it's just the one I'd put it down to experience, be generous and let them come to the party.

What goes around comes arond and all that, you might find you get back shed loads in invites from a person you could have given the brush off to?

AgentZigzag · 01/10/2010 22:25

Oooo punished you say Geeky? In what way?

unfitmother · 01/10/2010 22:27

Why will there be an additional cost?

TrillianAstra · 01/10/2010 22:29

What GeekyGirl said. If you keep rearranging plans in favour of disorganised people they will keep being disorganised.

They had 4 weeks to reply. It's not as if they coul dhave been ill that weekend, it was 4 whole weeks.

Original poster
Whocantakeasunrise · 01/10/2010 22:30

Unfortunately AgentZigzag it's not a child's party it's adults and children, so this results in it being a substantial cost.

And I do admit, I am peeved, because I try to be fair and reasonable, and feel that some people take the ride.

But I will listen and if the consensus is to say yes, then I guess I'll have to swallow, but fortunately that's not the case yet!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Whocantakeasunrise · 01/10/2010 22:32

The reason it was that RSVP date, was due to an offer ending on that day, so it is now full price not discounted price plus there is an additional administration/booking charge for admendments to booking.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 01/10/2010 22:34

Just in defence of the twats who are changing their minds, I'm a bit absent minded at the min, I'm not usually and I do feel bad about it, but I just can't seem to get my act together and keep forgetting to reply to stuff.

Is it possible they have a lot on at the moment, or that something changed and they'd really like to see everyone and so are changing their minds for a nice reason?

Original poster
Whocantakeasunrise · 01/10/2010 22:38

The cynic in me (knowing what they are like) would say it is most likely, other people have said to them 'see you at sunshine's party' or similar, and they now want to come.

They are the type of people who for a normal get together, you will know on the day that they are coming, and this is a) to ensure that the right people are attending to make it worth their while and b) they've had no better invite.

OP posts:
Alikersh · 01/10/2010 22:39

maybe letting them know that there would be a charge for a late addition and giving them the choice of attending but paying the charge themselves if they still want to come?
That way you're not sayng 'no' but not letting them get away with messing you around... :o

pluperfect · 01/10/2010 22:44

No, you gave them their chance. Do tell them that if anyone drops out, they can come, but you have had to close the list.

As with children, consistency of message is key!

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