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Original poster

to not want to do this for my friend?

25 replies

WriterofDreams · 01/10/2010 17:34

Please tell me if I'm just being a grumpy bitch. I'm 28 weeks pregnant at the moment and I'm quite large and tired. Yesterday my next door neighbour who I was quite friendly with moved to another city. I got a text from her today asking me to go into her former house (I have a key) to read the electricity and gas meters (which are very inconveniently located in a tiny understairs cupboard, reading them involves hands and knees) and to turn off the freezer and defrost it. The freezer is quite a large chest freezer so defrosting it would require it be drained over the space of a few hours.

Bear in mind that she has left huge piles of junk in my garden and garage so she will have to come down in the not too distant future (hopefully) to deal with the crap, at which time she could do these jobs herself.

I got quite annoyed when I read the text and I haven't replied. Am I just being a mardy cow?

OP posts:
BooBooGlass · 01/10/2010 17:36

Yep, mardy cow. She wants a few meter readings and some things switched off. Put some towels down (maybe there are some in the pile of junk) and leave her to do the rest

blametheparents · 01/10/2010 17:36

TBH I wouldn't mind reading the meters, but draw the line at defrosting the freezer - my own needs doing and I haven't done that!

FakePlasticTrees · 01/10/2010 17:36

YANBU - why didn't she do these things before moving?

prozacfairy · 01/10/2010 17:37

YANBU. She's taking the piss.

Tell her you're busy right now having your own life but it's ok coz she can deal with all of that herself when she comes to clear out the crap she's left in your house. Which will be very very soon, wont it? Smile

bubbleOseven · 01/10/2010 17:39

i'm with blametheparents here. Meters not a problem but she's a cheeky mare asking you to defrost the freezer!!!! Good Lord!

Has she done similar things for you in the past. Is that why she thinks its OK to ask.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 01/10/2010 17:39

So she expects you to clean the freezer? Because if you turn it off it will just get mouldy, won't it?

I think that's taking the piss a bit.

I wouldn't mind so much about reading the meter. Do you have a partner who could read it?

Put junk back in her house? If you've still got a key and her freezer etc is still in it, it's still hers then?

DameGladys · 01/10/2010 17:39

She might just mean turn the freezer off and leave it - stuff old towels around it or something. Cheeky if she hasn't left any old towels though. I'd ask her to clarify that one.

The meter reading doesn't sound like a massive ask tbh. Do you live with anyone else who could do the crouching?

Ragwort · 01/10/2010 17:39

Sounds an absolute cheek to expect you to defrost a freezer - and why didn't she discuss all this with you before she moved and asked if you would be OK with any of it? Also shouldn't the freezer have moved with her?

I guess it depends if you want to remain friends or not - if you are not bothered about the future friendship just reply and say you are feeling incredibly uncomfortable and unable to do anything for her - and would she like her key back? (otherwise you will forever be letting people in and out etc).

AgentZigzag · 01/10/2010 17:41

Agree the meter reading not too bad, but the freezer is something she should have done herself.

It'd be OK to ask a DH/DP to do something like that, but not a neighbour, even if you were friends.

I'd just 'forget' I'd got the text as I'd obviously be far too busy with all the shit I've got to do.

Original poster
WriterofDreams · 01/10/2010 17:41

She's incredibly disorganised FPT, she knew she was moving ages ago but she didn't actually start packing until last Saturday. I think part of the reason I'm so annoyed about it is this is just typical of her, she leaves things to the last minute then expects everyone else to sort things out for her. Normally I'd be quite willing to help but at the moment I'm a huge ball of mooooood (mainly due to tiredness) and I so I couldn't be arsed doing it.

Also, blame, part of the reason I don't want to do it is what you said - my own freezer needs defrosting and I can't face it, so why should I do hers??

OP posts:
FetchezLaVache · 01/10/2010 17:45

I'd do the meter reading, but ask her to clarify exactly what she means by "defrost" the freezer and if it's anything other than "unplug it and pack old towels round it", say you're sorry but you're far too tired for that- which is the truth.

Original poster
WriterofDreams · 01/10/2010 17:45

It's a rented house so she's responsible for tidying up and switching electricity off etc but the freezer isn't actually hers. My DH could read the meter but he's away at the moment so that'll have to wait. Her excuse for the freezer is that she forgot about it, so I'd imagine that it's still full of food that needs to be thrown out. I just could.not.be.bothered. She's looked after our cats for us before but that just involved putting food in their bowls once a day and we always got her a little present to stay thanks. She stayed in my house for days, has stored junk in my garage and the thanks I get is two more jobs to do!

OP posts:
prozacfairy · 01/10/2010 17:47

Maybe the reason she didn't think to do all this stuff herself was because everyone who knows her knows she's so damn scatty that she thought "ah it's ok I'll get writerofdreams or whoever to deal with the freezer and meter reading. They'll totally understand that it's coz I'm SO disorganised."

Can you tell I don't care for people like this?

If you're already in a bad mood, don't bother even texting her back, it'll put you in a worse mood if you actually do this for her. Put your feet up and watch the t.v.

bubbleOseven · 01/10/2010 17:49

I've got no time for people like this either.

You are not responsible for your friend no matter how disorganised she is. You are responsible for no-one other than yourself and your children if they are under 18.

bubbleOseven · 01/10/2010 17:49

I've got no time for people like this either.

You are not responsible for your friend no matter how disorganised she is. You are responsible for no-one other than yourself and your children if they are under 18.

AgentZigzag · 01/10/2010 17:50

What kind of stuff do you recon is in the freezer?

Times are hard and all that, if it's any good to you it might be worth your while having a scavenge if it'd just be chucked anyway (thinking of ben and jerrys/haagen dazs Wink)

Original poster
WriterofDreams · 01/10/2010 17:54

I think it's even worse than that Prozacfairy, it's almost as if she expects people to be at her beck and call. She's quite a nice person but pretty immature and tends to assume that people will do things for her without actually considering the inconvenience or hassle she causes them. Her last housemate moved out because she couldn't take the way she has of constantly taking advantage at a low level all the time. I was totally ambivalent about her leaving - sad to see her go but relieved at the same time. Of course when she comes back to the city she'll expect to stay here all the time. Thankfully once the baby comes we'll have a perfect excuse to say no. God I'm a terrible bitch tonight aren't I?

OP posts:
runmeragged · 01/10/2010 17:54

I think she is being very disorganised and cheeky. I would be pretty cross at being asked to defrost someone's freezer, as I do not even do my own regularly. Don't know if I would say yes or no, but request is pretty unreasonable.

Original poster
WriterofDreams · 01/10/2010 17:55

Hah AgentZigzag if I thought there'd be anything good in there I'd be in in a flash! More than likely it'll be a hundred things past their sell by date.

OP posts:
FakePlasticTrees · 01/10/2010 18:01

Just text back "sorry, not able to do that." - worst case for her is her landlord knocks something off the deposit because she's not left the place as she should - maybe being charged for it will be the shock to make her think in the future.

I tend to be over nice, but wouldn't do this. She can come back and do it herself.

Original poster
WriterofDreams · 01/10/2010 18:05

That's what I'm wondering about FPT, why she doesn't just come back tomorrow (as it's Saturday) and sort it out herself. She's only about an hour away and she needs to sort out that junk anyway. I suppose she wants to spare electricity. Gah, I'd love to tell her where to go but I'm too much of a coward!

OP posts:
DetectivePotato · 01/10/2010 18:12

She should have sorted this stuff out before she left.

I would do the meters (grudgingly, if I could get to them, I am pregnant too) but not the freezer. Like others said, I can't be assed to do my own, let alone someone elses.

oranges · 01/10/2010 18:13

just pretend you didn't receive her text, and do nothing.

Original poster
WriterofDreams · 01/10/2010 18:14

I like your style oranges, I think that's exactly what I'm going to do :o

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 01/10/2010 18:33

What a cheek!

I would text her back and say, meter read and freezer switched off xx

Are you sure she will come back for the junk in your garage? Why not take it when she left?

Oh and don't feel guilty, she certainly wouldn't lose any sleep over it, why should you?

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