Child Maintenance money

[soverign21]

I'm posting on behalf of my 2 friends, they are seperated and are fighting over their child and maintanence money so i thought id get some other views as im getting it on both sides

background is they split 18 months ago, the arrangement was M (male) would give F (female) money every week for their DS, have him for a few hours once a week and then every weekend have him either firday or saturday night

F has met a NM and is trying to start a family with him, recently she has been awkward about visits cancelling when she feels like it and asking M to have DS for full weekends or swap days about to suit her

Last week M had no work (he's a labourer and work comes and goes) F was not happy he couldn't give her any money
M had said he'd see DS on monday but then didnt text or call to make arrangements, he claims he was waiting for F to tell him if it was convenient [rolls eyes]
Wednesday when M usually has DS, F waits till he texts with time to collect then texts him back saying he cant have him as she has to have her car serviced (no offer of alternative day) and also tells M he must give her 2 weeks money this week to which he replys he cant afford it and offers her this weeks money with some off what he owes and will make the rest up in weeks to follow
F says no and tells M "not to rock the boat" when M asked what she was threatening there was no reply

I'm at my wits end i can see both their points of view but dont know what to advise them who do you think is being unreasonable? and what advice would you give?

This is my 1st post here so please be gentle especially since it's not about me (wish X would give me maintenance and see DC )

I think they should have their heads banged together and start thinking what was best for that poor child stuck in the middle. And do what's best for that child and stop playing power games.

I agree totally thats exactly what i said i wanted to do with them lol

1. They need to grow up and stop asking a friend to ask strangers for advice .....really? Are they 15?

2. You need to get out of their business. I don't mean that in a bad way, but involving others just makes it all worse. It makes things bigger than they need to be. THEY are the parents and presumably grown ups. They need to learn to get along.

3. Perhaps they need to look at each other as business associates, or colleagues working to bring up THEIR child. There's give and take. "M" may not have the money - assuming he is a responsible parent, "F" may need cut him some slack. There may be times when he is more flush and she needs extra for whatever. He seems genuine in his bid to make up the shortfall.

Honestly they sound like babies

they are both adults (supposedly) she's 21 and he's 29 but my take on it is that she wants him out of the way so her and NM can be a family with the LO (thats the impression she gives me), she seems to be looking for excuses so M is seeking legal advice and contacting the CSA himself to sort maintenance

I think yes on the CSA front but to sit and say you have him these days at theses times no messing it about

They both adore their DS but need to think about him in all this and their not

Thanks for the input Purple and Hecate :)

It sounds like they need a ruling in place on both maintenance and visits as otherwise the Mum is going to try and push the Dad out of the childs life.