To think when you preface a remark with 'Now I'm not stirring, but your SIL said...'

[YanknCock]

that you are, in fact, 'stirring'?

FIL goes out of his way to shit-stir, and he loves it.

For the record, I don't care if my SIL thinks it is stupid to spend money on shoes for a 13 month old. We held off all this time, he will still go barefoot indoors, but it is getting cold and he has to wear something on his feet when he is outside.

Also, I'm inclined not to take advice on worthiness of purchases from a person who wastes their benefit money on crappy Disney tat, McDonalds, and arcade games. Grow the fuck up, you're in your mid-20s with a kid to look after! And get a job!

But I digress. The point is, FIL loves to stir, and he MEANS to do it.

Well, apart from the get a job bit, I agree with you. Leave the jobs for the rest of us, I reckon.

yanbu definitely stirring!
and not really a waste buying shoes for a 13 months i dont think?! as you said it is cold, so they are actually serving a purpose. and even if the purpose was only decorational then so what, if it gives you some pleasure to buy them for your dc what harm would it be?

BOF, my SIL is absolutely no competition in the job market for anyone who is remotely competant at anything.

Get him on Jezza. It makes sense.

Just tell him you're not interested in the slightest in what she said. If she wanted you to know she shoudl tell you herself.

Tehn tell him to bugger off.

surely if the child is walking they need shoes ds walked at 6 months and had shoes not much older because he was using them.

My dad is like this.

There were some odd statue things a couple fo years ago of turds in all sorts of poses.

we found one that was holding a big golden spoon and entitled "shit stirer" we got it for him for christmas. the entire family laughed for ages over it.

Some times you just have to ignore it.
or play him at his own game. tell your SIL that he has told you what she said, that you aren't at all bothered by it but that you are annoyed that he is trying to cause trouble.

arrange between you to tell him something and see how quickly it gets back.
it'll be great fun

PotPourri, I don't even get the chance to say I don't want to hear it! He just blurts this stuff out and I have to carefully rearrange my face and say 'well she's entitled to her opinion'.

I don't know what he expects to gain from this, he doesn't think much of SIL either.

His other favourite is 'Now I'm not being nosy, but....' and then goes on to explain exactly how he was being nosy.

Sometimes I miss living closer to the PILs, because at least before we could drop by for an hour and then go home again. Now each visit is agonisingly long!

Gigi, for that, I'd have to talk to my SIL, and I find her more objectionable than FIL

You should jump in straight away when he says "I don't mean to be nosy but..." with - "BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BE EXACTLY THAT - NOSY, EH?"

good idea pot

"I'm not stirring but.."

"YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME SOMETHING SOMEONE HAS SAID ABOUT ME THAT I WOULD NEVER HAVE KNOWN OTHERWISE."

and then laugh and say "Oh, you are a funny little man, aren't you?"

Assume an innocent face.

"Really, did she say that? How interesting."

Continue with whatever the conversation was about previously.

If you want to pull him up on it you can go for the extended version.

"Really, did she say that? How interesting. And what do you think on the matter?"