to take slightly ill DS to his joint birthday party

[ohbabybaby]

DS has joint 1st birthday party at the weekend (joint with 5 babies). We have been planning it for ages.

DS has been generally unwell for 2 weeks, came out in a rash today, but doctor says just a virus and he can mix with other children/go to nursery because not too bad and they all share everything anyway.

At first I thought we would still attend the party (assuming he is well in himself), given doctors advice and given his friends are possibly already infected (he has seen them this week, though to be fair he didn't get too close to them as was clinging to me).

However mum of another birthday baby suggested one of their guests might not be able to come if we do, as they have twins with medical problems who end up in hospital with every cold etc, and they hardly ever get out to see other children.
(I understand this as I also have some guests due to come with babies with particular problems/multiples who I invited specifically because they don't get to go anywhere, and have been considering whether to warn them of illness.)

If we go to the party, other people's guests might not be able to come, so is that fair?

tbh i would just do my own little party

What exactly was the doctor's advice? If isolation is not medically indicated, then I can see no reason for you not to go.

Disappointing though it will be for you I do think it would be best to give the party a miss if your DS is still under the weather.

If he is well by tomorrow then I'd go but otherwise I'd be inclined to invite the other 4 over for another celebration for your DS once he's well again.

Can you contact the parents of the other babies? Ds caught conjunctivitis which came out the morning of his 1st bday party and I contacted all the parents to tell them and say I completely understood if they didn't want to come but they all decided to come anyway and luckily nobody caught anything.

I think it's only fair if you warn them

YABU to take him and not to warn all the parents to give them the choice of catching whatever DC has. YANBU to be disappointed that this has happened just before his party.

Although the doctor has said it is not too bad, doesn't mean all the other parents want their child to catch it, especially if it means they will be under the weather for a couple of weeks!

Personally I would not take DD as I would not want to risk infecting everyone with a rash and general poorliness, no matter how harmless you think it is.

No, if it's my childs birthday they'll be going to their party. You've told others and then it's their choice if they go or not.

I say go. If the GP said your ds is fine to mix with other children then it will be fine.

During winter months (which I know it isn't quite yet!) kids constantly have a snotty nose and have a bit of a cold but aren't overly ill, if you didn't let them mix with other kids you'd never get out.

It is a shame the twins may not be able to come to the party but I don't think your son should miss out on his party when the GP has said he's fine

x

Just to add, if it was only your DC's party I would say go and just let the other parents know, however as it is lots of other babies as well they could between them have lots of guests who choose not to come. Difficult, hope you make a decision which suits.

well I think moral of the story is - avoid holding joint birthday parties! It would be a lot simpler otherwise.

Thanks for your thoughts.