Not invited to DNeph's birthday tea shocker.

[Arcadie]

I probably am, and there are a billion other much worse things happening to people we know - but hey a moan's always cathartic. I'm also tired and hormonal so be gentle when you tell me IABU!

Although none of us grew up here DH's sister and BIL live in the same town. So do BIL's whole family. DNeph's birthday yesterday. DS is his best mate and is ridiculously excited about DNeph's birthday and party this weekend (which we are invited to).

DNeph and DNiece are taken out to local restaurant by their parents and grandparents last night with entire "other" side of the family. We are not invited (presumably because it's all about the "other" side). AIBU to feel a little ?

YABU, sounds like a family gathering, you are not actually party of your BIL's family are you?

I don't expect my sister's husband's family to include me in things, even if they are doing something for one of my neices.

Do you invite your SIL to your family gatherings? I mean your side of the family.

Yeah - you're right I guess looking at it that way it's daft to be - I suppose it's just that it would have been nice to be able to celebrate DNeph's birthday with him on the day ( esp as I can't be at party) - I just feel a bit gipped that they've organised something for him on his birthday that means that we can't see him.

Is this a joke. Your thread title sounds very sarcastic? If not, YABU.

Does it actually matter if you see him on the day? I don't get it, as far as most kids are concerned the day they have their party is their birthday regardless of the actual date.

What difference does it make?

DH and I always make sure that no-one in the family see DD on her actual birthday so we avoid stupid jealous nonsense like this. It is so hard not to upset family, especially when they are oversensitive. If BIL is nice to you usually then why think he's being mean? You're just causing problems which aren't there!

Serendipity No, not a joke at all - just trying to show that I'm being fairly light-hearted about the whole affair. Yes it hurts to be excluded but it's not the end of the world. Just needed a rant to people who aren't family. And it is useful to hear other people's sides of an argument so I don't sit and stew about how I could never be wrong

Morloth Doesn't make a massive difference at all, just feels a bit exclusive. We all know each other really well- hang out together each week etc. And rethinking your question before. I don't invite SIL to all my family gatherings (ie with my brother and sister) but she & family do get invited to all my birthday stuff and OF COURSE if we were having a birthday tea for one of our kids then if my family could be arsed to travel then both sides of the family would be there.

Serendippy sorry got your name wrong - I've just thought what you meant - yes the title is supposed to be tongue in cheek. No I don't think it's newpaper shocker headline worthy. Far from it.

Yes

Glad you can see the funny side, have been so many threads recently about people who were not invited to weddings/parties/bosses cousins dogs baptism etc that I thought you might be taking the piss.

Forget about it, open the wine

flip it around.

You, your husband and your kids are have been invited out to dinner with your mum and dad, your gran, your auntie and uncle, your brother and your sister.

Would you think to ask your mum if you could invite your husband's sister and her husband and kids?

Different branches of the family. iyswim. Not a 'snub' of you.

Yanbu to feel sad. You love him, you want to spend special times with him. I feel a bit like that about my brothers kids when they spend that time with sil family. But it can't be helped, remember that they love him just the same as you do
also , practically, you can't invite everyone to everything!

Serendippy Yes taking the piss - but only out of myself!

Hecate Of course not - you're absolutely right. It was only the fact that it was DNeph's birthday so for one half of the family to take him and their half out seemed a bit . But I guess if it had been DH & DSIL's parents taking him out then the other half wouldn't haev been invited so hey - you're probably absolutely right. It won't have been an intentional slight against us - just a "didn't really consider that we should invite them- why would we?"

I love the thread title.

Some families do this, you know. I am sorta related to a fmaily that does this kind of thing. I find it unfriendly.

If MN has taught me anything it's that it doesn't matter how wide you spread your invitational net across the family tree, somebody is going to feel slighted. I can now safely assume there are cousins 35 times removed living in Scandinavia harbouring a grudge I didn't ask them out for Sunday lunch last weekend...

DH and I always make sure that no-one in the family see DD on her actual birthday so we avoid stupid jealous nonsense like this. It is so hard not to upset family, especially when they are oversensitive. If BIL is nice to you usually then why think he's being mean? You're just causing problems which aren't there!

Does nobody else see the irony in this post?

YABVU and childish

Gee, thanks for the constructive advice!

There is nothing constructive to say because what you have written is a load of nonsense. It strikes a chord of when you were at school and someone says "you like them better than you like me". You're going to the party at the weekend, relax and enjoy.

I'm not actually but thanks anyway!