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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be a tad annoyed with the school?

17 replies

Rocklover · 30/09/2010 16:20

My 5 yo dd has just moved into yr 1 in her new school and since the beginning of term she has lost TWO coats!

Now I know that they are encouraged to be more grown up and look after their things themselves (as she is encouraged to do at home) and as such I am making sure she receives a punishment at home for not looking after it (no dvd today and tidying her bedroom instead).

On the other hand she is only 5 and is still at that stage where she puts things down and forgets about them, should the school not be slightly more vigilant in helping kids look after their things at this age?

The first coat (both are labelled) was lost weeks ago and has not been returned, so it is obvious that a parent has kept it (was a unisex navy blue rain mac). The other one was lost today and I have combed the entire school for it. If it is not found by tomorrow I am thinking of making a complaint as I will have to buy her yet another coat.

In fact I am thinking she will now have to have a cheapy coat for school and a better one for home as I cannot afford to keep replacing them. The one she's lost today cost over £30. I probably ABU, but I am pregnant and my hormones are wreaking havoc. Grrrr.

OP posts:

TheFirstLady · 30/09/2010 16:27

I would ask the teacher if it would be possible to put a note in the class's bookbags tomorrow asking parents to check whether they have one of your DD's coats by mistake. Maybe someone will own up. TBH I don't know what the school could do to prevent one child taking another's coat home by mistake, but they could put out a request for you.

shockers · 30/09/2010 16:34

I really hate this! If something named comes home by mistake, you send it back... don't you? And yet, despite me labelling absolutely everything, PE kits, sweatshirts and yes, even coats, vanish.

I feel your pain Rocklover.

Original poster

Rocklover · 30/09/2010 16:37

That's what I did with the first coat and obviously nothing happened, so I let it go as a one off. But I cannot ignore that a 2nd coat has gone missing.

I know that the school cannot prevent other children picking up things that are not theirs, but they CAN supervise kids during the day to make sure they bring their things back to the classroom.

The last place my dd had the coat was in the playground when she decided to take it off during play time, surely someone should have noticed when she came back in. Plus she came home covered from head to food in mud and grass stains which means her white top is probably not going to be wearable again.

I did not have anything like this with her last school, but I do understand that her new school is very laid back and has an extremely relaxed attitude to learning and play. That is one of the reasons I chose it, however, they surely need to be a bit more vigilant in other areas?

OP posts:

BuntyPenfold · 30/09/2010 16:37

Coats were stolen and relabelled at my primary school years ago.
My mum wrote our names in permanent pen deep inside the pockets, so that she could prove the coats were ours.

Original poster

Rocklover · 30/09/2010 16:40

Er...head to foot obviously.

OP posts:

colditz · 30/09/2010 16:41

She's five years old, don't punish her for losing her coat. I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose.

And really do not send five year olds to svchool in thirty pounds worth of coat.

BuntyPenfold · 30/09/2010 16:42

Have you checked the junior's lost property as well as the infants?

Original poster

Rocklover · 30/09/2010 16:47

I wouldn't usually send her into school in £30 worth of coat, but as the other one was lost and not returned I didn't have much choice as that was her "spare". She'll be getting a new one now, but it will bargain basement from now on though.

I don't want to punish her to be honest Colditz, but the fact is, if the school are going to be rubbish and not help her look after her things, I have to make her do it, so she needs to learn.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rocklover · 30/09/2010 16:48

All lost property is handed into reception and they haven't got it. The teacher is going to check the Junior classes tomorrow, apparently 3 other coats have also gone missing today. That's really not good going for one class.

OP posts:

colditz · 30/09/2010 16:52

I do understand, rocklover, it's bloody annoying. 2 school jumpers are gone from this houuse already this term, one aged 5 and one aged 8, ond both were written in, permanent marker, in the collars, not the labels.

Seriously, charity shop or primark is the way forward. I never pay more than £10 for a children's coat for precisely this reason. The type of parent who steals coats is very label-aware and will probably have ebayed it

mumbar · 30/09/2010 16:57

YANBU to be annoyed PG hormones or not.

YABU to buy a £30 coat for school

DS has an £8 one from ASDA and it did last year and is doing this - no-one would keep it as its nothing special!! and also would be less annoyed if lost. He then has a lovely next reversible one for home with fitted bottom and hood (donated so didn't cost me a penny!!).

taintedpaint · 30/09/2010 16:58

This might sound obvious, but have you asked the teacher to search in weird places within the classroom? I remember when I was at primary school, I lost a pair of plimsolls and one of the other kids had hidden them in the toy oven.

I would kick up a fuss with the school, but tbh, if they can't find the coats, I'm not sure what you can do. Bargain basement is a good plan though.

mumbar · 30/09/2010 16:59

oh sorry just realised you didn't buy the £30 coat for school

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 30/09/2010 17:01

buy a really unique coat, and cheap.

Original poster

Rocklover · 30/09/2010 17:04

The classroom is quite small, so nowhere it could be really. I am off to Peacocks tomorrow as they have some low cost jackets that will do for the winter term.

I have relented and let dd watch a dvd as she has tidied her bedroom. I am not good at being a mean mummy for long.

OP posts:

gorionine · 30/09/2010 17:06

Wait a bit? Once a child took my sons jacket home (very similar but not identical) the mum did not realise straight away but when she did she washed the jacket before bringing it back to school which is why it was actualy missing for a few days.

SweetKate · 30/09/2010 18:35

Sainsbury's are doing 25% off clothes this weekend! DS has one that cost £8. It is perfectly functional.

I lable everything and got really annoyed when this happened all the time at nursery. As DS's key worker pointed out, I was pretty much the only parent who labelled things so she couldn't understand why his things went missing. Miraculously they all appeared on his last day. I think nursery were using them as spares!!!

Schools should be more aware of children but tbh there is so little hanging space in DS's classroom area that there are about three kids things to a peg. I'm surprised that more things don't go missing.

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