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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be suspicious of the person who picked up my freecycle stuff?

24 replies

PutTheKettleOn · 30/09/2010 13:25

A couple of weeks ago I freecycled an old highchair - within minutes a woman replied to say she wanted it and would pick it up, and that afternoon a man in his 20s came round and said his mum had sent him to pick it up.

Today I freecycled a baby monitor, sme thing happened - reply within a couple of minutes, then the same bloke came to pick it up. It was only when i thought he looked familiar that i went through my old messages and realised it was the same woman who had emailed about it.

AIBU to be a bit suspicious that someone is trawling freecycle looking for things they could sell? After all, if the guy was in his 20s and it's for his mum, it's unlikely she's got a baby... plus the reply was super quick both times, literally within minutes.

I guess i shouldn't be bothered as i only freecycled them as i couldn't be bothered with the hassle of selling them for not very much, as they were a bit knackered. But I had thought i'd be helping out another mum or grandparent, and it annoys me as now i've had to turn down people who seemed more genuine.

OP posts:

fryalot · 30/09/2010 13:28

well - perhaps it was a granny looking for any baby stuff, a highchair and monitor are both things you would want if you were after baby stuff

JaneS · 30/09/2010 13:31

I think that sounds completely normal. It could be a mum who's got a big gap (not exactly unheard of, surely?), or it could be she's the granny. Either way, if it as me I might well send my adult son round to a stranger's to collect something rather than going myself to meet a person I didn't know, surely that's quite basic?

DomesticG0ddess · 30/09/2010 13:32

She might have wanted it for someone else in need, or be a childminder? Or it might have been dodgy as you say. Unfortunately unless you're going to interview everyone, you're not going to really know, that's the problem with Freecycle.

Bloodymary · 30/09/2010 13:32

Ooh, its a bit suspect isnt it.
I would be annoyed about it, because as you say, you freecycle to help someone out.
Not for somebody to try and make a few quid.

mayorquimby · 30/09/2010 13:44

"you freecycle to help someone out"

do most people not do it to avoid the hassle/cost of taking it to the tip or getting rid of it but tell themselves that helping others out is the real reason.

Original poster

PutTheKettleOn · 30/09/2010 13:44

hmm, i did think it might be a granny, but then i also realised most of the other replies said things like 'i'd like this for my grandson please', while this person just says 'yes i'll take this, i can collect at...' And the superquick reply, i only get the digest, to have replied so quickly you'd have to have signed up for the instant messages and be sat at your computer all day.

I guess that's the thing with freecycle, you just don't know. Maybe next time i'll hang back a bit and not just offer to the first person who replies.

OP posts:

neytiri · 30/09/2010 13:52

i tend to leave it a day before getting back to people rather than letting the first reply have the goods. prefer to choose who it goes to based on politeness. but if only 1 reply, then it doesn't really matter, as long as it goes and i don't have to take stuff to the tip.

babyicebean · 30/09/2010 13:56

We have one like this and she is always on frecycle/local msg board/face book asking for pushchairs usually ers has just broken, usually the strap clips.Then about a week later a pushchair is up for sale in the area.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 30/09/2010 13:57

She could easily have a baby, if she had her son when she was teen she could have had another baby in the late 30's early 40's. Maybe it was an unexpected pregnancy and she is skint so is getting second hand stuff which is why she is jumping on all baby stuff offered?

Bloodymary · 30/09/2010 13:59

Yes I really do 'freecycle to held someone out'. I could easily take things to the tip (in fact little girl finds a trip to the tip quite exciting).
I just happen to prefer to help somebody if I possibly can.

ragged · 30/09/2010 14:00

Live and Learn!
Charity shops still take a lot of those kinds of things, even fairly knackered items.

Serendippy · 30/09/2010 14:10

You will not feel happy about this until you change your attitude. You have to give for the sake of giving, because it is a good thing to do. The most deserving or the most polite is neither here nor there. If you want to guarentee you are helping someone out, give it to a charity shop you support to sell. Give it out of kindness, because you don't need it anymore and someone else does (even if they then sell it on, it might be because they desperately need the money).

Hope that doesn't come across as patronising, it is great to freecycle, this comes from a conversation years ago about giving to homeless people and what the money might then be spent on. The general consensus was, either give the money and accept that it is a gift and what is done with it is none of your business, or don't give it. Simple choice.

Pootles2010 · 30/09/2010 14:14

Well, some people on mine say in the ad they'll leave it for a day or two, give everyone chance to reply.

Also, the point of freecycle isn't to help out the needy - its to stop it going in landfill. If you want to help out needy, pass it on to a woman's refuge or something?

bobs · 30/09/2010 14:19

I tend to get rid of whoever can pick up quickest on freecycle, and you do get some amazing sob stories which are mostly true - I gave our sandpit to a lady with a 20-something yr old mentally disabled son who was sooooo grateful. However you do get those who sit on the computer waiting for bargains to come up so they can sell them on.
At the end of the day you want to get shot of something in the easiest possible way, and preferably to someone who will make use of it. I find the best way is not to give to the same person more than once - keep a record/separate folder in yr Inbox

cupcakesandbunting · 30/09/2010 14:24

You don't know what happened in her childhood to make her pounce on Freecycle stuff.

Curlygirly · 30/09/2010 14:27

My cot was collected by a heavily pregnant woman that had a 19 year old son. Because of the massive age gap she didn't have any baby stuff still.

PfftTheMagicDragon · 30/09/2010 14:29

It could be suspect. There are people who have auto replies on all freecycle stuff, so they reply quickly with a generic message to get what they can/

But it could be genuine. I don't think that there is evidence wither way, tbh

tethersend · 30/09/2010 14:37

What Serendippy said.

If you give it away, it's no longer yours so you don't get a say in what's done with it.

Perhaps they sold it for crack?

Serendippy · 30/09/2010 14:38

Tethersend

That's not exactly what I meant...

tethersend · 30/09/2010 14:40

I'm paraphrasing

NorbertDentressangle · 30/09/2010 14:44

As Pfft said some people do an auto-reply so if the actual object isn't named in her reply then chances are it could be an auto-reply sent in response to all offers.

Blu · 30/09/2010 14:46

I'm quite sure that the person who collected a large item fom me was going to sell it - better than it going in a skip.

FindingMyMojo · 30/09/2010 14:51

I think about half the people replying to freecycle ads are probably 2nd hand dealers - just my opinion.

It would be nice to be able to give to some in genuine need but how on earth can you tell? Last time I did give a load of baby stuff to a genuine Mum & she stuffed me around for weeks before she collected it, all the while playing a tiny violin - so I kept it for her instead of going to next on the list.

I'm just glad when the stuff is gone.

Original poster

PutTheKettleOn · 30/09/2010 14:56

interesting about auto-reply ... checked and both times the message was exactly the same, not mentioning the object I was selling. Ooh, I could be on Spooks!

I accept the point about giving for the sake of giving, I guess I just thought the whole spirit of freecycle is you give some stuff, you take some stuff, you help someone out, someone else helps you out. I got some great outdoor toys on freecycle over the summer and was really grateful, so I thought it would be nice to help someone else out in the same way, so this has irked me a bit. Ah well, you live and you learn...

OP posts:

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