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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Over familiar receptionists

50 replies

MoralDefective · 30/09/2010 10:46

My dentist always phone the day before an appointment to remind us(they do this to all patients..not just us)....when i answer the phone they always ask for me by my first name and i think it's rude and always say 'this is Ms'.....my car insurers (swinton) did the same this week.......when the Dr comes out to call in the next patient they always use the persons first name, yet they expect to be called by their title and surname ie Dr Smith.......am i just being petty....it seems so disrespectful,especially when they are speaking to much older/elderly people.

OP posts:

BinkyB · 30/09/2010 10:47

YANBU..But please don't get me started on Dr's receptionists :)

conkie · 30/09/2010 10:50

I prefer it when they use my first name. I like things informal.

laweaselmys · 30/09/2010 10:51

They are trying to be friendly.

YABU.

fedupofnamechanging · 30/09/2010 10:53

I think that if they are using your first name, then you should automatically use theirs. I dislike the inequality of managers at work, for example being called mr/mrs last name, but calling their employees by their first names.

CvanA · 30/09/2010 10:54

YANBU I agree that there seems to be double standards, ecpecting to be called by their title and calling you by your first name. When I speak to our internet provider they always ASK if they can call me by my given name which is much nicer. Since my surname is vitually impossible for anyone to pronounce (it is NOT that hard honestly but no-one is brave enough to try) I always get called by my first name or called "Mrs van errrrrr...........?!"

NerdyFace · 30/09/2010 10:57

I complain if they don't infact call me "Mr Smooth Daddy Cool"

But yes, I think YABU, they are trying to make the allready un-envious task of cold calling someone slightly more pleasent.

Besides, Mr. Lovelock is my father, I am Ben! :D

TrillianAstra · 30/09/2010 10:58

The people at my drs say 'firstname surname please'. Less chance of their being two Mrs surnames

Original poster

MoralDefective · 30/09/2010 11:02

But that's the other thing isn't it ....bloody cold calling....now i know it's their job but if i want to buy something then i'll go for it myself....they always ring when i'm busy, and while i'm not rude to them,i never ever listen to them......i'm always suspicious of someone phoning me and using my first name when i obviously don't know them.

OP posts:

JaneS · 30/09/2010 11:53

Have you actually told them you don't like it? If not, YABU.

Mind you, I think it is a bit silly - plenty of older people will be offended. When my grandpa was in hospital they called my mum in confusion, saying that a nurse had said 'Hello, I see you're called Gerald', and he'd replied, 'Well, I suppose you could call me that!'.

They thought he was rambling and didn't know his name - he was just pissed off they were being (as he saw it) rude!

I think you do need to explain yourself a bit more.

JaneS · 30/09/2010 11:54

Btw, how does that work out for you Nerdy?

Gillybean2010 · 30/09/2010 11:58

I don't think YABU. I had this the other day, at the dentist, it's really irritating. I know that their only trying to be friendly, but I think it's a wee bit unprofessional IMHO. After all, I don't know them personally, so wouldn't call them by their first names.

NerdyFace · 30/09/2010 11:59

Well, on the bright side a lot of people don't cold call me anymore!

Telesales - Is that Mr Lovelock?
Me - It's Mr Smooth Daddy Cool..
TS - Err...Pardon?
Me - It's Smooth Daddy Cool..Whats your beef homie?
TS - I'm...Going to make sure we take you off our calling list...

potplant · 30/09/2010 12:06

Nerdy - that's brilliant

I don't like people I don't know calling me by my first name but I still can't get used to being Mrs X (and I've been married 8 years). Mrs X is my MIL.

I really hate it when someone calls me 'DT1 and/or DT2's mum' - like that's my name!

NoelEdmondshair · 30/09/2010 12:18

Just out of interest, what do you call your dentist?

Bue · 30/09/2010 12:19

I'm a very informal person and I actually prefer to be called by my first name. But I like to use others' first names as well. For example, I call my doctor Jackie. (That is how she first introduced herself BTW).

minipie · 30/09/2010 12:28

I much prefer use of first names myself.

Actually I feel very old if someone calls me by a title and surname (and they usually get both wrong as well).

tokyonambu · 30/09/2010 12:36

The idea was, apparently, that being called by your given name is relaxing. So in hospital, for example, nurses always call people by their given names. That many older people find being addressed like that by slips of girls both unsettling and rude is of course ignored, because it's relaxing to be called by your first name, so you should be relaxed.

tokyonambu · 30/09/2010 12:36

"Just out of interest, what do you call your dentist?"

Aaargh aargh aaargh.

NerdyFace · 30/09/2010 12:41

If your dentist is Private

"HOW MUCH!?"

systemsaddict · 30/09/2010 12:42

tokyonambu

Plus people don't always use their given names anyway; my grandma was called 'ellie' in hospital by lots of slips of nurses when she has been 'nell' or 'mrs [surname]' for the past 96 years - even less relaxing for someone in pain and confused to be called by the wrong name!

My given name is pronounced in a way British people don't expect it to be when they see it written down, so I always have the additional slight shock of irritation that people have got it wrong, too.

And don't get me on to 'Mrs x' when I've never been married ...

I'm not making it easy for them am I!

nickelbabe · 30/09/2010 12:43

tokyo.

the old people thing is funny - my MIL has always been known by her middle name, and when she went into her care home, they started calling her by her first name, and then because she didn't complain (not altogether with it, and I suppose she knew it was her name!), they then started with a pet name on the theme (name-y). Now it's very comfusing visiting her because I call her by her middle name, as I've always known her, and I don't know whether that's bad for her - taking her back years, and confusing her more, or good because she'll remember who I am. (she never remembers who I am - she sometimes thinks I'm her daughter)

point being, that noone ever asked what she preferred to be called, and I think that's the problem. I don't mind being Andrea instead of Ms Don, but I want people who don't know me to ask me if it's okay first.
(although, it might have its advantages - I refuse even to answer to Mrs DHname, so they'd be greeted by silence if they tried it!)

nickelbabe · 30/09/2010 12:44

ooh, systemsaddict - our posts are so similar!

systemsaddict · 30/09/2010 12:47

we are clearly leading some sort of weird parallel existence nickelbabe!

JaneS · 30/09/2010 13:07

I am enjoying your work, Nerdy.

I actually fainted in front of my dentist's receptionist yesterday, just as she told me the bill.

It was just because I'd stood up too fast, but it didn't look good ...

nickel, that's really sad. My mum gets called by her middle name by everyone except my dad, so that made me think. I hate it when people nick-name the elderly without asking (my granny turned into 'Joyce-ie' ).

Mibby · 30/09/2010 16:26

Before I got married I used to get Ms Surname because they could pronounce it, now I have a first name that gets mis-read and a surname people cant say properly.

I got told off in the Dr last week for not answering to Amanda. They didnt like my argument of ' My names not Amanda, how am I supposed to know you mean me?'

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