please try and bare with me, this is a long winded story and i am in desperate need of some objectivity. My childrens dad was abusive throughout our ten year relationship, I finally made the break two years ago but as he hadn't been abusive towards my children i continued to support a relationship between them. He was also a gambler and a serious cocaine abuser, why I stayed with him for so long i really don't know. He has been in a relationship for well over a year now and I have posted on here sporadically about my issues with it...i could go into them now but i really don't want the point to get lost in a string of accusations so will stick to my current concern. In february i got a phone call from my ex to say that he was in custody charged with assualt and battery against his gf and that he wouldn't be at football. Consequently for until june as they decided to stay together i would not let the children stay with him over night. I eventually found out he was convicted and is now on two years probation. I experienced really big problems with my children in that they see no wrong in their dad which i recognise given his behaviour is unhealthy in itself. After reassurances from both in june i started letting them stay over again as my ex informed me he had been on an anger management course....if i'm really honest i was working fulltime, struggling myself a bit and in desperate need of a break. My children were giving me a hard time and i conceded and he resumed over night contact. on the night of the world cup final i got a hysterical phone call from my child saying that he and she were fighting and that she had thrown a cup of tea over him. I demanded he brought the children home having been reassured he hadn't been drinking, he turned up at 1030 with my sobbing children, out of his face on drugs which i threw down the toilet in a car that wasn't taxed or moted. I let him stay over that night as i was concerned for him if he left and the children wanted to know he was safe, i spent the whole night up worrying about repurcussions. At this point i told him if they got back together i would not be able to allow them to see the children together, as he had broke his probabtion i encouraged him to speak to hsi probation officer, I was very cocnerned and still am that my children will lose their dad to jail. To try and cut a long story short they have stayed together, although he has moved out temporarily so he can have his children, recently however he has been blaming me for ruining his loife and telling him waht to do and today decided to take his girl friend to harvest festival, the first time they have seen her since the violent episode...I have had enough of trying to forge a healthy relationship, am i right to be upset? what woudl you do?