to think my mums should leave my brother at home alone for xmas

[tasmin]

We live overseas and I have offered to pay for my mum and brother to come and visit us over xmas. My brother is refusing to come as he and I quote dosent like christmas. My mum would love to come. My sister is coming over as well and we've had a difficult year as we lost our dad so this would be an opportunity to have all the family together.
She refuses to leave my brother alone though
Hes not young hes 35 and more than able to look after himself. I think she should just leave him and come over to join us for xmas what do you think?

I agree with you. Presumably he has his own home, friends/girlfriend? So he won't be sitting all alone with a ready meal on Christmas day?

There's no point her doing that because she'll just droop around over him being at home alone for Christmas anyway. YANBU but I don't see what you can do.

I think she should too - but then I ma blinkered as I have a 36 yeard old idiot brother who still lives at home.My mum gets up at 5/6 am to make his breakfast for him before he goes out to work

If this was me there would be a comedy visual of bar-room swing doors flapping after I'd run through them.
BUT - maybe your mum thinks your brother is depressed and her leaving him alone might make him feel worse?

Well, he can ignore the Christmas part and just enjoy seeing you.
Has he always not liked Christmas? What part does he not like? The commercialism? Religion? The food?

The problem is he dosent have any other friends really. He was living away from home and came back to help my mum with my dad when he got sick and has never left since. Hes very anti-social refuses to go out for dinner etc but where does that leave my mum is she destined to miss out on family christmases as she has to babysit my brother for ever more. I am so annoyed with the situation but I thik you're probably right its a no win situation as she will mope around worrying about him.

I think the not liking xmas thing is an excuse for I'm a selfish anti-social twat who refuses to have a good time. He certainly enjoyed christmas when we were young, hes not religious or anything so nothing to do with that

Phone and speak to your brother and give him a guilt trip. He obviously cares about your mum because he moved home to help her when your dad got sick so explain to him that your sad that she will miss out on important and special family time because of him. That you know he doesn't "do" Christmas but that he should just get on with it for the sake of your mum......etc......
A bit mean I know but I'd do it to mine.

If he came home to help with your Dad and has been keeping your Mum company since, i can see why your Mum might feel she was abandoning him.

Since this is the first Christmas since your Dad died () could you all go to your Mum's instead?

Maybe he's just someone who likes his own space and doing his own thing? I don't have a massive circle of friends - I just like peace, quiet, my own space and doing what I want to do. Losing the relatives for Christmas when I hate the whole season anyway sounds like utter bliss to me.