Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to want to ask my dad his reasoning?

57 replies

beth35 · 28/09/2010 14:05

Wondered if i should ask my dad something. Found out he gives my nephew pocket money and wondered why he doesnt do the same with the others?
Not about the money just feel a bit hurt for my lo.
Would you ask if there is any particular reason for this or is that rude?

OP posts:

loopyloops · 28/09/2010 14:59

Oh ok, you want me to be nice?

Post in relationships.

You want questions?

Do your children get pocket money? How much and how often?

Does your nephew get any treats from his parents?

Have you thought about making it fairer for your dad, your children and your nephew by giving the nephew pocket money yourself?

Original poster

beth35 · 28/09/2010 14:59

My god if i told the back story id be on here for years lol, best quit now lol.
Yeah agree no one can comment without the facts hence me ignoring the bitchy comments on here ;)

OP posts:

BabyDubsEverywhere · 28/09/2010 15:00

I know how you feel, in DH's family he comes last, therefore our kids do too, nothing you can do though. If he is showing that he favours your sis and her children, then in plain truth, its because shes his favourite and thgere isnt a lot you can do about that

Al1son · 28/09/2010 15:00

I think it's reasonable to feel hurt, especially as this is part of a deeper issue. However I think that if you approached your Dad you would cause a lot of upset and embarrassment for no real benefit. I'd say grin and bear it and be glad that your children have parents who are better role models and can provide so much more for them.

Serendippy · 28/09/2010 15:02

AIBU?

YABU.

No I'm not...

Agree that relationships would have been better for this if this is not the response you were looking for

Original poster

beth35 · 28/09/2010 15:02

No she isnt. My dad is caring but is also manipultive and horrible at times. my sister has a daughter too and she doesnt get any.

OP posts:

BabyDubsEverywhere · 28/09/2010 15:03

bloody hell, start agin with it all in the op - this ones ridiculous!

Bramshott · 28/09/2010 15:05

If your dad can be "manipulative and horrible" I think you should thank your lucky stars he doesn't give your DCs pocket money!

loopyloops · 28/09/2010 15:05

OP, there's a thread about irritating threads you might like to look at, your is showing some classic symptoms.

Original poster

beth35 · 28/09/2010 15:06

? dont understand above or aibu etc. Think will leave it there. Loopyloops - good name there ;)

OP posts:

harassedinherpants · 28/09/2010 15:08

I'm sorry but I think YABU.

It's his money and he can do what he wants with it.

I have 3 dc's aged 4-21, and my sister has no children. She doesn't mind at all that they spend money on my dc's. In fact they spoil dd rotten (but in a nice way!)!! They've worked hard, and they enjoy spending time with her and being able to treat her.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 28/09/2010 15:08

Lovely loopy

You have posted in 'am I being unreasonable.' Countless people have said 'yes you are!' If you don't want to read comments that you don't like then don't post in this section.

loopyloops · 28/09/2010 15:09

OK, but just to explain what I mean, in case you're new...

AIBU is reserved really for people who want opinions. Brutal, judgmental decisions. If you don't want people to challenge you, post in another section.

"AIBU by stealth" is where you post an AIBU but leave out pertinent information, drip-feeding the info as it is needed throughout the thread. This can be quite frustrating for the reader.

Original poster

beth35 · 28/09/2010 15:12

Thats fine im off, if you didnt want to read my post or found it irritating you should have just left it, how nice some of you 'ladies' are especially to a pregnant woman you should be proud of yourselves.

For those who have answered constructively thanks vey much i think i just feel a little miffed but ok with just venting here and not creating an issue with my dad. Cheers.;)

OP posts:

Original poster

beth35 · 28/09/2010 15:14

Crossed posts with you, thanks for explaining. I guess this would have saved the bitchiness if you had done this from the start. I am new and dont know so there is no need for some of these posts!

OP posts:

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 28/09/2010 15:16

You're kind of spitting the dummy out of the pram here beth. You wanted opinions and thoughts but have given us very little information to go on. There's no need for you to be a bitch back just because you don't like what someone has posted. As with all sites, not everyone is going to agree with you because people have their own opinions, which is what you asked for and you have recieved.

DurhamDurham · 28/09/2010 15:20

Well then the person who you should feel sorry for is your neice who isn't being given packet money when your nephew is. That's how your post should have started, surely that's more of an (imagined ) injustice than your child not getting any.

Original poster

beth35 · 28/09/2010 15:21

IT IS NOT THE FACT PEOPLE HAVE NOT AGREED WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!

It is how people say things, people could be polite about it. Yes i can admit i am wrong about things and welcome different opinions but didnt see the need for bitchy comments.

Ok yes maybe i shouldnt have lowered myself to a few catty comments and for that Im sorry. Have a lovely afternoon all.

OP posts:

loopyloops · 28/09/2010 15:26

Take care :)

And for future reference, if you want people to treat you with kid gloves, please let us know you're new, pregnant and probably steer clear of AIBU.

And try not to get personal about other posters.

Original poster

beth35 · 28/09/2010 15:34

Sorry didnt realise you ran mumsnet, maybe this should be put at the top of the aibu section instead of text re bulying that people obviously dont read. Didnt realise if i wanted a bit of respect that i had to be treated with kid gloves. I know you are enjoying to try and wind me up too, im not that daft!

Yes its disjointed but im a mum, im multi tasking whilst pregnat and with a 3 year old and thought i could just gauge a few reactions for five mins.

(ps yes the injustice is or my neice as well)

OP posts:

hollyoaks · 28/09/2010 15:36

I think there needs to be more explanation of how aibu work, especially for new posters. I haven't been brave enough to start a thread on here cos I'm a wuss and take things too personally :).

proudnglad · 28/09/2010 15:45

AIBU is always going to have to be a baptism of fire!

Beth - ummm, we are (nearly) all mothers on here who are all multi tasking and working and/or looking after children. So I wouldn't play the victim card if I were you!

However, I don't get why everyone's baying for blood here. I don't think your OP is so terrible, nor your alleged stealthiness! I think it was obvious there was hurt and resentment at the bottom of this.

loopyloops · 28/09/2010 15:46

Erm, actually I'm not trying to wind you up at all. I was actually trying to be kind. And no, I'm not enjoying anything about this thread. I can see why you're defensive, but I don't think you need to attack me.

What I mean was, how are we supposed to know you're new or pregnant if you don't tell us?

I think you're feeling a little sensitive, so I really don't think AIBU is the right place for you right now.

And yes, maybe a bit of AIBU explanation is needed somewhere, quite often people get upset when they get flamed on this section, but others really feel they can say what they like on AIBU.

loopyloops · 28/09/2010 16:06

Sorry to bang on, but also, could you please explain your "Sorry didnt realise you ran mumsnet" comment?
You said you didn't understand something, so I explained it to you. I wasn't rude or nasty, and I gave you some (hopefully) quite useful advice.

I am sorry if you feel I have upset you, but I think you should know that you have upset me too.

cumfy · 28/09/2010 16:17

Really don't understand what the problem is here.

Surely Beth can just politely ask dad why DN is getting money.

Dad can equally explain or say he feels "It's none of your business".

Where's the problem ?:)

Flip

1 2 3