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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU with regards to guestlist of who I want to invite?

6 replies

DetectivePotato · 28/09/2010 10:02

I am not religious so would never have DCs christened but I like the idea of doing something so we are considering a Naming Ceremony next year after DD is born (we already have DS).

I have written a provisional list (I was very bored last night whilst waiting for photos to upload) and I have added family that I think I should invite, not just the ones I want to invite (DH agrees with me and would quite happily not have some of my family there).

Adding in our dearest friends and their children makes the number too high. There are far more friends I would have there over some family members but some that I don't want to invite are close family to each other. Eg, 1 of my cousins and his DF visit often and adore DS, I would also invite his brother as we have always got on well. Their sister, no chance and not an issue as we don't really speak but they also have another brother who can be a bit funny and I feel like I am inviting him for the sake of it, plus it would have to be his on/off GF (and I mean constantly on and off and when they are anywhere together they argue and swear at the top of their voices, not caring who hears, including their young DS). I am also on very shakey terms with their mum (my aunt) due to a falling out years ago that was the fault of the female cousin I definately wouldn't invite. It has been revealed that I was telling the truth and cousin was lying but me and aunt feel awkward but she does buy my DS presents at xmas, however her DH won't even look in my general direction as he is a very pig headed man and won't admit that they were wrong to blank me before.

I also want to invite my dads ex, who has 2 DS's with my dad. We always got on well and she bought some lovely stuff for DS and is buying stuff already for my next one. However his current on/off DP doesn't like her and will probably flip out but she couldn't even be bothered to send me a card when I had DS and only visited because her teenage son was thrown out of the house (by her) and was contantly banging on the windows and she didn't want to sit and listen to it. (Yes I have some lovely family).

There are more but I don't want to make it too long.

I resent inviting people because I have to but I also don't want more family fallings out. We are going to have to cull some people from the list anyway as we have too many but WWYD?

All helpful advice gratefully receieved please!!!!

OP posts:
loopyloops · 28/09/2010 10:05

We had the same problem.
We ended up inviting only immediate family (our siblings, our parents and gparents), then only family who had made the effort and seen DD at least twice (or lived abroad so couldn't, a few exceptions). DD had hers at 10 months, so anyone who hadn't seen her a couple fo times didn't deserve to come, as far as we were concerned! We didn't tell them this was our criteria btw.

DetectivePotato · 28/09/2010 10:19

Sounds good to me.

The only 'problem' I have with doing that would mean not inviting my dads DP as she makes no effort to keep in touch. I don't really want to invite her, she can be a bit funny now after years of us having a good relationship. I also don't want to invite her 2 DCs, one is my half sister who I see once a year even though she lives down the road and the other is her son from a previous relationship who I never ever keep in touch with now, apart from me sending a birthday card.

It wouldn't go down well with my dad!

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 28/09/2010 10:35

I think you should do what you want. If anyone criticises, then explain the reasoning behind your decision, but stick to it. I wouldn't not invite a step mother who had remained part of my life and was close to my DCs, just because new step mother wouldn't like it. People can then decide for themselves if they wish to attend.
I hate duty invites and think people would have much more fun if they just spent time with the people who matter to them

DetectivePotato · 28/09/2010 19:53

Thats exactly my view karma. This occasion is something to be celebrated, especially as we were told it was unlikely we would have children. I want to celebrate it with the people I love and who love DS (and in a few months, DD).

Fuck it (I think) I'll invite who I want. And end up changing my mind 10 times for fear of upsetting anyone. Although I don't know why I should care! Grrrrrrr family politics!

OP posts:
Curlybrunette · 28/09/2010 20:29

Get the invitations out right now and then it'll be too late to change your mind!
x

DetectivePotato · 28/09/2010 20:44

Ha ha, its not going to be for nearly a year. I think people will forget by then. Smile

Not a bad idea though!

OP posts:
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