Argh! I hate feeling like this!
Background been with DH 15 years, married 11. 2 dd's one DSD. Relationship has been pretty happy for the past 14 years, with the usual ups and downs.
Last Christmas DH starts going out more makes friends in work (new job). I'm a SAHM. Some of these friends are women (as you would expect). I have no problem with this, I'm glad he's going out and enjoying himself as he never really used to do that. Fast forward a few months and I find comments on his facebook that are quite a bit too flirtatious for my liking. We have words he agrees to tone it down (and also sees it from my point of view and agrees he wouldn't like it).
After this I'm suspicious so hack into his emails and facebook (I know, I know). He hasn't toned it down it's almost racked up a notch. I find a facebook chat conversation with one of these women from work which he never closed down. It was way too flirtatious and lots of innuendos. But nothing completely obvious. This woman is also in a relationship.
I confront him, we argue, we make up. We go through hell, we say we're going to split. In the same night we both cry say we don't want to split we love each other. Agree to stay together and try and make it work.
Things go good for a while we go on at least one date together a week. But every now and then something will crop up. (Far too many things to list them all now). But along the lines of flirting, texting this other woman excessively (IMO anyway). We then argue and make up.
And so the cycle has gone on for the past year. And now I'm so sick of feeling like this. Feeling jealous all the bloody time. (I'm not a jealous person). He tells me he loves me ALL the time. Texts me like 30 times a day when he's in work. But I still can't stop snooping. I check his emails, have't checked his facebook for a while, but did today. Check his mobile statement online, so I know when he's been texting her.
It doesn't help when he must give off vibes because he gets loads of bloody flirty messages on FB off other women even though he's got his relationship status on his profile.
(Can I just say that I HATE facebook).
This morning we argued over something pretty trivial but related to all that's been going on. I said that I'd had enough I can't stand the same old jealous crap all the time. I don't want to tell him not be on FB, not to text his friends (this woman) etc. But I can't continue like this so it's over. He said no he wouldn't accept it's over we love each other. That he wouldn't go on FB or text for a while. Ok I felt better.
Today I check his online mobile statement (I know)! And he's been texting her today. 
He's also been texting me he loves me all day too.
I know he hasn't cheated on me. It's this flirting thing that has got me. I hate feeling like this, I don't want to be a bloody jealous, snooping wife. That's not who I am, at all. I texted him about 20 minutes ago saying "Fuck it", he hasn't text back so probably knows something's up. I feel like a stupid immature teenager not a 32 year old mother of 3. He's due in from work soon, we'll probably argue.
I know IBU, it helps getting it all out though. Think I'll offload to my mum in the morning.