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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this teacher was totally out of line

40 replies

Ladyanonymous · 27/09/2010 16:50

DS1 started high school 3 wks ago. He has to do this SAMS learning thing online, but had a problem logging on to his account.

He told his tutor about this a couple of times and even showed her that he was unable to log on and couldn't do his homework.

I told him to keep on at his tutor till it got sorted. Had a letter home on Friday from his head of house saying they are concerned that he hasn't done any online homework.

I phoned up today to speak to her, and got the full hairdryer treatment as to what my responsibilities are as a parent, why do I not stand over him of an evening watching him do his homework, what does he do when he gets home from school and wasn't I concerned that he hadn't done any homework and why had he not harrssed his tutor until it was sorted what was he like at middle school and that she'll be keeping an eye on him Hmm Shock. Completley side stepping the fact that it wasn't actually his fault and hes a 13 yr old kid at a massive new school.

I told her that I didn't appriciate being spoken to like that or the suggestion that I am failing as a parent in some way.

DS1 came home today and said he'd seen her to tell her this boy has been picking on him. She said to him "I'll tell him to stop if you do your homework"

AIBU to write to the head and complain about her and quite frankly her attitude towards me as a parent and speaking to me like its my homework and I'm a naughty kids has really pissed me off.

OP posts:
slimmingworldmum · 27/09/2010 16:53

This reply has been deleted

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scurryfunge · 27/09/2010 16:53

I'd be straight down the school to the head teacher....totally unacceptable behaviour by the teacher to support bullying.

BessieBoots · 27/09/2010 16:54

Jeez! Yanbu at all. How horrid.

claig · 27/09/2010 16:58

YANBU, who the hell does she think she is? She's got ideas above her station.

cory · 27/09/2010 17:04

"I'll tell him to stop if you do your homework"

Get your dh to go to the head and ask, ever so nicely, if this is the school policy on bullying.

StealthPolarBear · 27/09/2010 17:09

cory has the best plan

Original poster
Ladyanonymous · 27/09/2010 17:10

"Get your dh to go to the head and ask, ever so nicely, if this is the school policy on bullying."

Don't have a DH but I like this :o

OP posts:
ElephantsAndMiasmas · 27/09/2010 17:15

Shocking stuff Shock - I would be writing a letter to the head and asking for an appointment to discuss this with him/her and the teacher.

MissAnneElk · 27/09/2010 17:17

What did she say about the SAM learning homework. DDs school also uses this but DD never used it and just handed it in done on paper - I'd be surprised if it were compulsory. As far as I know she had trouble logging into it. I think the parental contols on her laptop were the problem.
I think to say that she will deal with the bullying once he does his homework is a bit out of order but before you go in all guns blazing I'd make sure your DS is telling you everything. Then if it were me I'd ring his form tutor again and try to sort it out. If you're not happy after that then I'd speak to the head of year/house. If it's like DDs school they keep the same form tutor all the way through so I'd be careful of making her an enemy.

cat64 · 27/09/2010 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Anenome · 27/09/2010 17:19

Why does she need her DH to go to the head? Hmm ? I think if it were me I would make an appointment to speak to the head of year...and then go up the wall...that teacher sounds like a cow. Write it all down before you go so you don't forget anything.

fedupofnamechanging · 27/09/2010 17:20

Another one saying that you need a meeting with the head asap. Did you not tell them on the phone that your son has been unable to do his homework?

Original poster
Ladyanonymous · 27/09/2010 17:21

Head of yr is a good idea - as the woman was the Head of House - and yes I explained that he had been unable to log on....

OP posts:
cupcakesandbunting · 27/09/2010 17:22

Oh dear. Teacher sounds like a twat. Do what Cory said.

Anenome · 27/09/2010 17:23

Why can't she see the head herself? Isn't she capabale...or am I confused? People keep suggesting her DH do it....besides which she hasn't got one!

pinkbasket · 27/09/2010 17:25

YANBU.

Your son could not do his homework because his teacher did not give him what he needed to do it. She then said that?! I would be straight to the head, no messing. And I wouldn't need DH to come either.

cupcakesandbunting · 27/09/2010 17:26

Obviously I meant do what Cory said but sans DH i.e herself.

massivemammaries · 27/09/2010 17:30

straight to head .... then governors if no joy ..... governors will make them jump

HecateQueenOfWitches · 27/09/2010 17:34

Make an appt with the head.

Ask to use the computer right there. Try to log in.

Say "Right. Can you tell me exactly how you expect my child to do his homework when your system won't let him in and despite him informing you of this more than once, you have done nothing. Explain to me how my son can do his homework. Please explain it right now."

And then quote the "I'll tell him to stop if you do your homework" thing and say, "I would like this position on bullying in writing now please, so I can take it away with me."

Take no prisoners!

GetOrfMoiLand · 27/09/2010 17:38

Agree make appointment with head/year head. And take notes. And follow it up with an email so they know you mean bsuiness.

Sounds like shabby behaviour on part of the teacher. Poor boy.

StealthPolarBear · 27/09/2010 17:43

Anenome, of course she can :)

Marjee · 27/09/2010 17:52

Yanbu, who the fuck does she think she is?! Angry

Do exactly what Hecate said, put them on the spot and watch them squirm!

ChippingIn · 27/09/2010 18:17

I would do what Hecate said - but with about 20 less please's!! She is far more polite. I would have been straight down to the school.... I'll tell to stop when you've done your homework ?!?Angry

I would check with DS that there isn't anything else I needed to know before I went and he'd also know it wouldn't be worth his life to lie to me!

HecateQueenOfWitches · 27/09/2010 18:19

Oh no, plenty of pleases is vital Grin Do not underestimate the power of an icy tone, coldly polite.

It is far more effective than shouting.

If you do it right, it's chilling

Grin
ChippingIn · 27/09/2010 18:22

I wasn't suggesting not to 'please' merely that it's not my way Grin. I do the cool, calm, raised eyebrow much more effectively than I do please's...