To pu DC before DH

[schmoopoo]

Been invited to a party normal baysitters can't babysit. So i said to DH you go I'll stay at home DH friends anyway. He is in a real strop saying i put children before him !!!

yabu, of course you should put an adult before the children

What does he want you to do?
Am confused!
Does he want to take the kids aswell, or leave them home alone?
How old are the kids?

That's the point of being a parent isn't it? If you can't get a babysitter how can you go? Or are there other options you haven't tried for sitters? Do you go out as a couple fairly regularly - does he have cause to feel a bit neglected?

How have you put the children before him? You've told him to go! I'm guessing he sees it as you're choosing to spend time with the children over him? He's is unreasonable, not you. Although to prevent you from missing out, is there another babysitter you can get?

Are you not able to find an alternative babysitter? It's great that your DH wants your company on a night out.

btw what a knobber

DC are 6 and 7 ds has nightmares so is only ahppy with 2 baysittes both are busy

think he just wants a driver home

If you have option of another babysitter I'd use one and go out. DH's can be fragile about precious nights out - be glad he wants you there!

Well a taxi would probably be cheaper than a babysitter anyway!

I still don't understand what other options he is expecting you to pull out of your ass?
Whats wrong with him?
Serious attitude problem.

find another babysitter, and go out with the girls

your DH is a dick

He said well think of something !!!

your solution

I'm reading it as 'have other babysitters avaiable but worried about DC's nightmares so won't go out' am I wrong then?

no other babysitters

divorce on going attitude self centered ***

why don't you come down stairs, bags a packed, and tell him you've had a think and That you've decided that him leaving and not coming back is the only reasonable and frankly acceptable option left.

To be honest, it doesn't sound as though you want to go out with your husband to this party. You have options - you could both stay home, he could go alone, or you could continue search for alternative babysitter so you both could go. Is this a special party? Best mate's landmark birthday? Or just a general pissup? Is this something that really, really matters to him?

If not, do you go out regularly as a couple? Can you say, well, we can't do this party, but to compensate we'll be going out together next Thursday?

My DH works away in the week, but very occasionally (usually about twice a year) I will ask him to come to something with me on a week night. He knows I only ask if it is very important to me and that I really, really want him there, so he moves heaven and earth, and rearranges his schedule to make it. I really appreciate this.

How much notice do you have to make alternative arrangements for this party, if you do want to go?

do i want to go no, he makes no effort and refuses to go to things with my friends so i go alone. he i all take take

Oh dear. Neither of you sound as though you are making much of an effort at the moment with your partnership, to be honest. Do you think this is just a phase, or is it in permanent decline? Sounds like you are both fed up, resentful and not happy at all. This must be hard for both of you.

I want to split up but would that be best for DC he ays he would fight for custody

He might fight for it but it doesn't automatically mean he'll get it.

You both need to sit down and talk, with a third party if necessary.

Schmoo, that's really sad. Am so sorry. Can only suggest you go and see a lawyer to talk about your options. This must be such a difficult time for you. Always best to have all the information you need, especially with DC custody at risk. If relationship is beyond saving, is better for all concerned to part - am sure DC will pick up on you not being happy.