to worry about DP introducing first person fantasy role playing computer games to DD (5)

[dreamylady]

I have a problem with DP playing them so much, so its for me hard to be objective. He's only really played them with her once or twice (sat on his knee), and my main concerns are:

1. They might be scary and give her nightmares - the one he was showing her was rated an 18, though I've watched him playing it quite a few times and its quite gentle really - never looked very 'adult' to me. But there is occasional fighting and monsters. He would stop the game if it got really scary but I'm not sure he knows where her thresholds are iyswim?

1. She got totally absorbed in it and really didn't want to stop (like the same effect as TV watching which she hardly ever does, luckily for us she likes books!)I worry it's setting her up for future addiction to them like I think he verges on.

YANBU
You dont want her addicted to them too.

YANBU he should be paying attention to her not playing on the computer....and so many other reasons.

I used to play World of Warcraft with my nephew on my knee, he really liked it.
What was it? That's quite important, because some are really mild and others quite dark.

you are sooo not being unreasonable

really, if he can't stop playing them long enough to actually look after her then he has a proble,m

and games have ratings for a reason. would you let him show her 18 films?

It depends what it is although if it is rated 18 then you are probably not being unreasonable. If it was something like world of warcraft then I dont see the harm, it very cartoonish and I doubt any 5 year old would be traumatised by it but I dont think that is 18 rated.

As for getting addicted we allow our children unlimited access to the ds, wii, computer xbox (obviously to age appropriate stuff but we dont limit time). They tend to play with something new but then move back to toys etc - I would be surprised if a 5 year old got addicted to a game

your dp playing too much is a totally different issue, if he was just showing her the game for a bit of fun - fine. If he was playing so much that he couldnt come off it too look after her so he just perched her on his knee so he could keep playing then thats more of a problem (if that makes sense!).

Yes, which one was it?

DH and I often play one of these together (but then we are both complete nerds) and enjoy strategising together.

If your DH just wants to share his enjoyment with her, that's one thing, but if he plays too much then that is another.

On another note, the advantage of facing monsters in these games is that you can defeat them. So the knowledge that these monsters can be knocked over might help with the fear aspect.

An alternative of course would be for your DH to get down on the floor and play let's pretend with his DD.

Of course, I'm only guessing. I won't be a mum for another few months yet.

fernie it most like what you said - he spends plenty of other quality time with her, just was playing the other day and she came in and asked to join in. skyrg its that kind of thing (he also plays that) but not online.

I feel reassured by most of your comments actually - no nightmares last night, as I said it is quite mild, not sure why its an 18 really. will talk to him about it nevertheless but a bit less judgementally than i might have otherwise!

I think it can be quite good to introduce them to these things early as a normal part of life, not something forbidden, something to do occasionally. I do agree that things are usually an 18 for a reason. I would never have played something like Grand Theft Auto in front of my nephew (not that I play that kind of game anyway).
He mostly bashed the keyboard :) He loved computers at that age, it's just another way to learn I suppose.

You sound very reasonable, I dislike it when people completely hate gaming, nothing wrong with it in moderation.

I don't see why you let him in the first place. I'm not a computer Nazi but the only thing I allow my DD's on is the BBC Key Stage games!

My dd who is 5 likes to run around with a character in wow or LOTRO (lord of the rings online) She goes around the newbie areas and explores. I think it's fine for her to do and it has taught her to read maps amazingly well. Both dh and I are avid gamers so we know there won't be anything unsuitable there. We do have an agreement that certain other games are not to be played in front of children. Generally anything that involves fighting anything that isn't clearly a made up fantasy monster. Fighting anything that looks like a human is banned since the day she watched me play fable and then started running around "killing" bandits. Lesson learned =)

Most of the time, gameplaying is for evenings anyway.

Future addiction :)

This is the video game/IT generation. She will be exposed to them, a lot, so why not start with dad if its something he enjoys too?

Modern day games are wonderfully constructed engaging worlds with appeal for all ages.

Sounds like a mild bit of sour grapes in there somewhere. Are you a computer numptie?

Personally I feel FP games are even worse than watching a horror film. Your daughter is sitting on daddy's knee watching him kill peopl., The death and violence is not just happening - Daddy is making it happen!

Yes, we adults know it is all an illusion and not real but how will your daughter know that daddy doesn't really shoot people?

I know that sounds hysterical but as a parent who does let her children play games/look at internet sites (even my 2 y/o ) I think playing an 18 rated game with a child watching is a very bad parenting move.

Actually there have been studies which show that children can easily distinguish between the 'real world' and the game world.

Goody I can kill all the hookers I want then in front of my children

I'm not saying you should play wildly inappropriate games in front of them, just that people underestimate a child's ability to judge reality and game worlds. I think in some ways it can help their understanding of what is right and permitted in the real world.

I don't see a problem with kids playing games. We I was young my sister and I used to play Frogger for hours and hours, get bored with it and not look at it again for weeks. My kids are the same with their ds and wii, both are unused for weeks on end and then they got through stages were they are playing the wii every night.

I understand that they can distinguish between the two - DD1 doesn't think that she really gets to ride a cow around a race track but at what point does introducing the idea of violence to children become a bad idea? Do children really need to see violence being perpetrated by their family, there is enough of it mentioned in fairy tales (Snow White's step mother trying to poison her, etc, etc)? Do little children need to know that if you hit some one hard enough they lose teeth/break their nose/bleed, that zombies want to eat your brains and you can blow them up?

BTW I'm not against fairy tales, horrible histories or Harry Potter, etc, but there is a rating system for a reason on films and computer games. Age appropriate games and films are fine and fun why not ask your DH to play those with your DD?