To want to say something to my neighbour?

[OneTwoBuckleMyShoe]

The couple next door but one have a 5 week old DD. Today I was trying to rest (have awful earache) but got woken by our neighbour (between us and couple with new baby) screaming out of her window would they shut the baby up crying.

Now I have noticed when outside that yes the baby does cry but our walls (terraced) are very thick and you can't hear anything from inside.

Looking outside I saw the mum run into the garden sobbing and our shared neighbour still yelling at her. I went round the back of the gardens to the crying mum's gate and asked if she was ok. I gave her a big hug and took her inside for cup of tea (so British I know!)

Turns out both her and her husband only moved here 6 months ago from the US and only moved into our street just before their DD was born. She has no support locally, all her family are in the States and her husband works on the airbase so works shifts in the ungodly hours.

Her DD appears to have colic and the mum is at her wits end. I cuddled and looked after the baby while she had a shower and calmed down a bit and then we had a good old chat.

I have suggested a few local groups I attend and also that she considers cranial wotsit as it has helped a few friends of mine. I have said that if she gets an appointment on one of my non working days I will gladly drive them there as they only have one car and her DH uses it for work.

I left her feeling much happier and went back to nursing my pounding ear.

But I have been thinking that maybe I should go to the shouting neighbour and explain what is going on and that shouting at the mum is not helping at all and will only make the issue worse so AIBU to want to do this or should I leave it and just keep supporting my other neighbour the best I can?

you sound like a lovely neighbour

is the neighbour the type to give you a thump or take it out on the neighbour?

I understand why you want to, but perhaps join forces with this mum and support her and laugh about the other neighbour to her so she feels less alone?

You sound so lovely.

Do you know the other neighbour?

Might be worth having a quiet word with the neighbour - do you know them at all and are they usually like this? be prepared for them not to be terribly receptive though.

By the way, you sound utterly lovely and I wish you were my neighbour!

I'd have a quiet word, but only if you think it'll work.

Just keep supporting your new neighbour, can't be nice going through that with no support.

What a lovely neighbour you are

How you deal with bitch from hell cross neighbour really depends on what she is like and how well you know her. If she is likely to be sympathetic to you explaining that the mum is going through a difficult time and could she cut her some slack go for it. If not avoid like the plague because a wound up vindictive old bag between you is going to make both your lives difficult.

Although regardless next time she shouts i would be inclined to shout back that she is really not helping....

Don't know shouty neighbour at all. Tried popping round when she moved in but no answer. Haven't really seen much of her only her children (I think they are hers!) but they don't speak much English so just genrally say hello and leave it at that. Shouty neighbour speaks good English but not sure of the thumping angle.

Might leave it for now and see if things improve, if it happens again (made mum neighbour promise to tell me) I will pop over and say something.

I think that's reasonable. Sounds like you are doing a great job of supporting the mum.

I'm not very good at neighbours - but it might be best to do what others say and be supportive for the new mum and ignore the other neighbour. Maybe if you see your in between neighbour in passing, it might come up and you can mention what a terrible time their having with a colicky baby.

My DD2 was like that - screamed all the time for about 4 months, it could've been lots of things that stopped it, but one of the things I tried around the time of it stopping (does that makes sense?) was baby massage. There's a colic routine - it works wonders. Might be worth a go if the cranial osteopathy thing doesn't. HVs will know about classes in the area, and depending where you are, some even come to your house to do 1-2-1 sessions.

If it were me, I would wait till' the evil neighbour shouts again, then stick my head out and give it back at her tenfold. Might shut her up. However you sound far too nice for that kind of thing...as it's only happened once, I would presume that evil neighbour was having a bad day...if it happens again I would call the police...people aren't mant to intimidate...and that's what she's doing!

shut the baby up crying? - Honestly do these people forget what it is like to have a 5 wk old how exactly do you shut them up!?

You sound lovely - I doubt you will have an intelligent response from shouty Neighbor though

God what a lovely person you are!

This neighbour will likely remember what you did for the rest of her life!

Good luck with the shouty neighbour, they sound horrific, but if you pull her up on it, who knows, perhaps it'll help....

It can't do any harm. I wish you were my neighbour, you sound lovely; ours exist only theoretically, all very spooky...

Slight update.

I took my new mum neighbour to her CO appointment on Tuesday eve and things seem to be improving on the colic front, she was very lucky to get a cancelled appointment and she has been attending some local groups including the one I take DD to on a Thursday (didn't enjoy it personally as have ear infection hell at the moment but was great to see her looking brighter).

Shouty neighbour caught me outside this morning to bitch moan about other neighbour's DD's screaming and I told her, very calmly I might add which surprised me, that the baby cannot help it, shouting at the mother is not helpful and that she would do well to be a bit more understanding. She did look suitably shame faced so I am hoping that this is the end to her unhelpful attitude to the new Mum.

well done!!