To not understand why so many women seem to like their sons better than their daughters?

[HeathcliffMoorland]

I've read all the threads...

But a few things have been said that genuinely confuse me.

One woman had a dd and then a ds, and said if she had another girl she'd push it back up... I know it's not meant literally, but...

I also heard a 'baby boys are cuter'. They look the same... The only real difference before a certain age is the clothing!!!

And I also hear all about boys loving their mummies... my dds seem to like me just as much as ds does.

Another elsewhere said she never wanted a ds, but had one, and was now always in danger of favouring him over her dd.

I know loads of women who give their sons larger portions, or praise them highly for nehaviour that would be seen as just normal/right coming from their daughters.

I love all my children.

AIBU to be a bit confused?

I have a DD and a DS.

I know that my worst nightmare would be a "Sophie's choice" - i.e. having to choose which one to save in a crisis. It has caused me real problems hypothesising about in the past. And any news items about a mum having to make a choice really freak me (There was a recent one about a mum who drove into a river and could only save one child. Also a story about the tsumani in Asia, where a mum had to make a choice as she couldn't hold onto two).

SO, YANBU. Although I do love them in different ways, and DS is definitely harder work.

I don't think you have been reading the same threads as me.

brassband I'm afraid I agree with rollmops that your comment is utter rubbish. I have a boy and so many women who don't yet have children have said to me that they hope they have a boy first and aren't I lucky etc etc Now, personally I just see him as a child and couldn't have given a fig whether he had a willy or not (er, if he had been a girl that is...) but I definitely notice this opinion in others.

But that is beside the point. The point is, I am stunned by how many threads there are no this issue and why so many MNters are so flipping obsessed with the gender of their child!!!!!!

Boys v girls?
Girls v boys?

Come on people, let it go.

That sad, I think the comments about the mini-me aspect of parenting a girl versus the fascination of raising a boy are quite interesting...

I always wanted a boy first as I didn´t want two girls.

So if I had a boy first, it wouldn´t matter what the second was.

I thought about this before and my conclusion is that it is because boys are more like their mums and girls are more like their dads (not only physically but also in how they act and what they like) and we feel an affinity to the mini-me.

I feel the "mioni-me aspect of parenting" has little to do with the gender of child and much more to do with character and physical resemblance.

CDA, I'm quite sure that's genetically impossible.

Huh? DS looks very much like me and his character traits are similar to mine. DD looks like DH and has a lot of his character.

Me and my father are very similar in nature. DB and our mum also have quite similar characters.

Why on earth would it be "genetically impossible"?

pagwatch "TBH mumsnet is making me think the world is a bit odd just at the moment or that I am living in an alternate universe"

I think this all the time pagwatch, personally I put it down to people making stuff up to have something to talk about.

Yes, people are talking about a subject you don't approve, Shine.

Bye now.

CDA, it may be true in your case, but it is not possible to apple this as a rule, in genetic terms.

apply

my mum said she preferred little boys (after I'd had one). A bit of a double-whammy, seeing as I am girl and my older sibling was a boy, and now I'm expecting a girl. My mum is the most tactless person I know.

sunfun,

I think that the comment above about seeing it more in the older generation comes close to the reason.

Women have always been expected to 'look after' their men domestically - cooking his tea, doing his washing etc so there is a tendency to bring daughters up to be more independent but to 'mother' sons more - at least domestically speaking.

This 'mothering' of the son creates a co-dependant relationship - which left unchecked leads to some of the nightmare MIL or lazy git husband stories that are so frequent on here when the precious boy goes and finds himself a mother replacement wife.

IME (in rl, maybe on MN), more people talk about wanting a girl than a boy when they are pregnant IYSWIM.

However , the people I know who have a boy and girl, often talk about the girl being harder work/high maintenance, and the boy being chilled/placid. I have a DD and DS, and I would have to agree, but I think that's because DD is more like me and I am quite annoying .

Interesting though about the 'mini-me' issues. But I also think whether they are a younger or older sibling matters too, esp. re expectations etc.

Hmmm I think I am in a parallel universe to the OP - isn't it the girls that rule on MN, boys are generally considered to be the slightly grubbier, more boistrous, louder poor relation.

That being said I adore both my DC, I love them equally but (and I will prepare to be flamed) my DD is not always as likeable as DS.

She has inherrited some of my less likeable traits and I find it difficult to have those reflected back at me as a result I have to work harder with her because I don't want to feel like that at all.

I am now expecting DC4 and I would (very secretly) prefer a girl, not least I think because that is what would make DD the happiest girl in the world

I think this may be ( as a mother of three boys) because people find it impossible to fathom a woman being happy to have a baby boy, So many mothers bitch about people telling us we should want girls. So there seems to be more Mummies loving boys threads.

I am personally sick of justifying not wanting a girl. I am not against having a girl, just ecstatic with the lovely boys i have.

Heathcliff - Mine is anecdotal evidence only, from myself and girlfriends in RL whose boys are more like them than their girls.

I would still like to know why you would say it would be "genetically impossible". Please explain.

i always wanted girls more and i had 2 first. i loved having them and did not want all boys. i had a son last.

when they were younger i found my son more demanding but not my son is 12 i find him easier than the 2 teenage daughters. my eldest is very arkward and i can't do right by her. they hardly speak to me and i feel like a servant.

my son is around more and seems to be more supportive and loving. i do love them all but sometimes you can like one child more and i think it goes through phases.

my son will help me in the house if i ask but maybe he will do a 'Kevin' when he hits 13.

alemci - interesting nickname

OP, if you met my kids, you would see quite quickly why I prefer my DS......
Not that I dont love them both totally, but DS is happy, helpful, loving and sweet. DD is stroppy, argumentative, awkward, loud and opinionated.

That said, their personality is nothing to do with their gender, its just incidental.

I agree with TheIncredible Sulk - on MN anyway, it seems that some people find it hard to believe that a mother could be happy to have boys.

So we tend to overcompensate and tell the worlds how great they are.