4 yrs ago my ex attacked me and eventually I went to the police,he was charged and found guilty of ABH. He walked away after getting us into >£100,000 debt - lost the house and I am paying for a large loan due to the negative equity. He quickly married and has a baby girl with the new wife. I have always wished them well....pleased he is getting on with his life.
When he was not with the new wife, he was never intrested in our son (now 11)then out of the blue I was presented with a court summons as he wanted 100% custody. Totally gob-smacked I went straight to a solicitor. After paying > £8,000 I dropped my solicitor as they were useless. I represent myself as I am totally skint. 18 months later I am still battling - they want 50/50 now but their behaviour has been unreasonable - from acussing me in court of being an alcoholic, to accusing my boyfriend stealing my son's bike, to stating my son "hates" my boyfriend to stating I harass them.
His wife has been made 'party to the proceedings' which means she can go to court and speak, yet I go alone.
Their communication is appalling,never answers reasonable texts or e-mail or phone calls apart from verbal attacks. I am deeply conerned the affects this is having on my son.
My son spends 50% holidays with his Dad and every other weekend and every Tuesday. Recently they have asked for more access. I responded no (as the court decides at the final hearing) an again they have become aggresive.
Because I don't want my son damaged and I want to get on with my life (so does my boyfriend), I am considering giving in but with caviats - such as they must improve communication, they should be more flexible - e.g. the 50% holiday rule he is sticking to it rigidly over Oct half-term - I want to take him away for the week (his Dad can have him longer over Christmas or extra weekends), he says no. So our son does not get a holiday as he is sticking to the 50%...does not seem fair on our son. Other caveats would be if he is with me, but there's a family birthday on his Dad's side, then he can go (and vice-versa). Simple things.
What do you think?