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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have shouted at my brother?

20 replies

redderthanred · 26/09/2010 12:05

Last monday ended up at mums for tea. Was a spur of the momment thing and dog came with me and we were on our way back from the vets.
Brother grabbed some ham from the fridge and wwas just holding it in his hand while looking for other stuff.
My dog ( which i know was not great of him to do) snapped he ham out of his hand.
My brother turned round and promtly smacked my dog on the head.

I jumped up and shouted ' dont you dare do that to my dog'

Mu mum said i over reaacted and my dog deserved it for snatching the ham.

I do not belive, that in any circumstances an animal should be smacked. Not in any. Not by me, not by anyway one.

He should have been told off. he should not have done it ( and im not sure why he did as hes not in the habbit of snacthing anything)

but in anycase i dont think i was wrong to be angry and have shouted. Im still angry if i think about it now. I dont know if i should just leave it or try and say soemthing.

OP posts:

Goblinchild · 26/09/2010 12:11

Leave it, next time make sure that both the dog and the brother are under control, and you are not taken by surprise that a dog would snatch at a tasty treat waving around in front of his nose.
Even though I have little to do with dogs, I'd have expected that to happen, odd that you are not sure why he did it.
Brother was probably just reacting without thinking, shouldn't have hit out.
Would that be his usual reaction to your dog doing something wrong? Or would he normally shout, say no or yell at you?

Original poster

redderthanred · 26/09/2010 12:22

its not really odd to be taken surprise by the snatching of the ham. My dog does not snatch things. Never has done. I could leave a roast beef on the kitchen side and he wouldnt touch it.

Brother was taken by surprise too, ( and he knows my dog well) but its not that, its the smacking of my dog on his head.

Surprise or not, that is, i think really really wrong.

My dog is usually really well behaved. I dont think brother has ever had to tell him off as it were. I rarely do now either ( hes 9) if i did, i would just say no in a firm voice. I wouldnt even shout.

OP posts:

taintedpaint · 26/09/2010 12:27

YANBU, but it might be best to leave this as it is. Your DB knows how you feel about him treating your dog like that and that's probably enough. You don't need to be making more of an issue out of this now. But FWIW, I would be angry too, no one hits my dog, and I would've reacted the same way you did.

Goblinchild · 26/09/2010 12:28

As I said, I have little to do with dogs, but I do associate them with snatching and biting if provoked, and ham is provocation.

Has your brother wacked your dog on the head before? Perhaps it was a surprise reaction on his part too.

cumfy · 26/09/2010 14:47

What was the upshot ?

ie what did DB do after you shouted ?

All just seems a difference of opinion. How hard did he hit the dog ?

I hope no permanent injury....and I bet it was worth the ham he got. :o

agedknees · 26/09/2010 14:56

My dog did this with my dh's sandwich once. dh had sandwich in his hand, hand was hanging down, dog walked by, jumped up and grabbed sandwich.

dh then tackled dog (dog was only a small scottie dog). dh managed to wrest the sandwich out of dogs mouth.

dh did NOT eat the sandwich afterwards, but threw it away. Felt he had to teach the dog that stealing food was not on.

Skyrg · 26/09/2010 15:41

YANBU, he has no right to hit your dog and it can seriously hurt them (depending on how hard he hit it, obviously). Dogs that are hit can learn to snap back, you don't want to end up with a violent dog. There are other ways to discipline it (loud noises I think being the recommended one, it replicates how they bark at each other, or something).
Hitting a dog on the nose can kill it, so hitting anywhere on the head is a bad idea.

lilyliz · 26/09/2010 16:04

Bro should'nt have hit dog on head but probably just a quick over reaction,don't fall out with it if dog is ok, PS where did your mum get the ham,can't find a decent tasting one round here.

googietheegg · 26/09/2010 16:08

What really pisses me off about dog owners when their dog does something wrong is they always say 'he never usually does x' - THAT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE! he HAS just done it.

That doesn't mean your brother hitting the dog is right, but he is right to be royally pissed off at the situation.

Skyrg · 26/09/2010 16:11

googie, if the brother was holding it down, the dog may have thought it was for him.
Not a great situation, but the dog was acting on instinct. If that's how they usually give it treats, it may have been confused.

Heracles · 26/09/2010 17:57

"My dog does not snatch things. Never has done."

Until now, anyway.

What do you suggest he did, write it an angry letter?

Goblinchild · 26/09/2010 18:27

At least we're blaming the deed not the breed.
All dogs, given provocation will snap, this one had ham waved at him and snatched it.
Your brother tapped him hard on the head, presumably once. I take it the dog was surprised and baffled rather than hurt?
Neither action should have happened but they did, so move on from it.

celebmum · 26/09/2010 18:36

dog went with instincts and took ham, prob without thinking of consquences... DB also went with instincts and scolded dog, he prob also wasn't thinking of consequences. I agree with Goblinchild.. you can move on from this now, both dof and DB probably have!

cumfy · 26/09/2010 20:30

At least we're blaming the deed not the breed

I don't know about that GC; those Vietnamese Pot Bellied Pigs are whole lot tastier than those Danish Porkers. :o

Goblinchild · 26/09/2010 20:34

I'm just waiting for all the posters from the Dog Bites Child threads to turn up.
It was the ham's fault obviously, the dog is always perfectly under control and never snaps or bites or jumps up. The ham provoked it and deserved its fate.

musicmadness · 26/09/2010 22:22

YANBU - I'd be absolutely livid if someone hit my dog. Was your brother holding the ham quite low down? I only ask because while my dog doesn't snatch if you are holding food near his head he thinks its for him because I sometimes feed him treats like that. Either way I don't see why your brother couldn't have just shouted "no".

PinkieMinx · 26/09/2010 22:41

I think YABU - as dogs are animals they would respond far better to a small smack than the naughty step. In the wild the pack leader would've bitten your dog - maybe your brother should have nipped him

MoralDefective · 27/09/2010 01:46

Oh ffs...it's a dog..are you mental?...did he beat the dog to within an inch of it's life....'he should have told the dog off'...does the dog speak English....FFS...i love my dog but she's the bottom of the pack and is not allowed to snatch food.....

Theincrediblesulk1 · 27/09/2010 01:53

Erm sorry but you should watch your dog! I have a dog and if he looked like he was even sniffing something in anyone's hand i would tell him off! I wouldn't let him be anywhere near my food in the first place. Sorry I love my dog, but its your responsibility to watch him.

MoralDefective · 27/09/2010 01:59

Oh,i can't help myself but.....find something reasonable to be unreasonable about....this is frankly ridiculous.....

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