LENDING MONEY TO MY SON

[sickatryin]

My husband and i lent my eldest son £1,500in Dec 09, i am curently off work on sick due to my having had colon cancer benefit"s are a joke. He still owe"s us £360 but although we keep asking him + his partner we receive nothing. I have threatened to take out an attatchment of earnings on his partner"s wages as she is a police officer that made them sit up and listen, their reply was i was unbelieveable meaning out of order. We are struggling financially and they both have good wages yet we still receive nothing they both wont speak to us now, its not fair as they have our grandson of 3, needless to say they accepted the present we bought the little man two wks ago for his birthday.

write it off otherwise it will eat you up

and don't do it again

sorry you are ill

I agree with Boys although it will hard.

Are you sure you are getting all the help you can? CAB are good at sorting out what credits you are allowed from the government.

You need as little stress as possible, hope you get the best treatment from the NHS is not your son

How long was the loan for?

Was it done via solicitors etc?

threatening to get an attatchment of earnings on his partners wages is unbelievable. did you loan her the money? what arrangement did you make for it to be paid back. if it was a "pay it back when you can" thing then you are UR to threaten this. if there was a proper, weekly or monthly payment then go to CAB for advice. and while it is unfair, there son has nothing to do with it. of course they are going to accept a present on his behalf from you. the present id his, not theirs. tehy are two separate matters. if you didn't want them to accept it you shouldn't have given it.

their son

This website should be able to tell you exactly what you can claim benefits wise:

www.turn2us.entitledto.co.uk/entitlementcalculator.aspx

It takes about 10 minutes to fill in.

You'll also need to put your postcode in here to find out what housing benefit you're entitled to if you rent your place (it's one of the questions on the first website - why they can't look it up themselves I don't know):

lha-direct.voa.gov.uk/Secure/LHARateSearch.aspx?SearchType=PostCode

You need to bear in mind with LHA you can only claim for a one bed place if it's just you and your partner even if you have a bigger house i.e. you can't claim for any spare bedrooms.

I owe my parents a LOT of money; thousands of pounds. I will pay back every single penny and so I should - it was always a LOAN... it's just taking time to pay back because I'm not earning atm, but when I do, I'm going to have direct debit to sort it...

can't your son do that? is he earning? do they have any spare cash at the end of the month (or at least rein themselves in a bit to afford it?) I can see it'd take 2 or 3 months if they broke it down; hardly difficult for them

Money "lent" to one's children is always effectively a gift isn't it?

My parents helped me out without ever really expecting me to repay the money and I fully expect to do the same for my DCs.

Tis just the way life is.

I think that if you lent your son the money and now need it back, then he really should have repaid you. However, it might not be that straightforward. I know you say they have good jobs, but they are obviously struggling or your son wouldn't have borrowed money from you in the first place, so perhaps they can't pay it back and are embarrassed.
YABU to threaten to get an attatchent of earnings on his partners wage. You did not lend the money to her, but to your son. That is not something a mother should do.

If my mum/MIL did that to me, I wouldn't be happy either. I think you should apologise for that threat and explain that you have been feeling a lot of stress and see what happens. You don't want to lose your son over £360. Just don't lend money in future.

So he's paid you back at a rate of over 120 pounds a month? that suggests that if he continues at this rate of repayment he'll have repaid the loan in full by the end of this year. Is a year to pay back that sum of money unreasonable? Did you have an agreement with him about how he'd pay it back? Going for an attachment of earnings order sounds very OTT for a family arrangement.

Can't you come to a reasonable agreement over the last few hundred?

The birthday present is irrelevant.

Why try to take it out of the dil wages and not your sons?

Write it off.

Your son is being a complete twat but I'm sensing he got his tightness from you.

Is £360 enough for a family feud and threatening peoples careers? Not in most families.

And if you are so hard up, why are you buying presents for people?!

I'm guessing that if it were able to pay it back, they would, immediately, saying "Here, have your money, old witch!"

I'm sorry you are ill and struggling financially, but YABU to threaten your son's partner, and YABU to expect great relations with your grandson after this.

If he paid you back tomorrow, how long would 360 pounds last you, and is the comfort of that short period worth losing your son?

YABU to threaten your sons partner. We have offered to lend DD2 some money for something. She hasn't taken up the offer as she says we've already supported her enouth with rent ( she's at uni)and will only take the money if she is realy struggling. Anyway the point is: if we lent her the money we wouldn't really expect to get it back.