to tell my mother what I wear is none of her business?

[dandruffandarguments]

Bloody woman has been on at me all my life about how ugly I am and how I don't wear clothes she likes, have no taste, etc etc.

This is largely because i wear what's available and don't spend lots of money on clothes, because I don't think it's worthwhile to be precious about your appearance. So if Aunty Florrie knits me a hideous jumper, I wear it, because she knitted it for me and that is nice of her. Also because I work in an environment where appearances don't matter. This is as opposed to my mother and sister who will loudly proclaim the hideousness of the same jumper nad say they won't put it anywhere near their colouring etc - in front of Auntie whatsit who then gets quite hurt.

My sister recently was given an extremely expensive cheong san in colours that she doesn't like, by her MIL, with the clear implication that she should wear it to one of their family weddings. My sister is unbelievably precious about her appearance, but the dress also does sound pretty ugly.

So my dear mother recounts all this to me and then says that she and my sister think that I should be wearing the dress to a different family wedding of mine (my inlaws) because I obviously like that sort of thing because I have no taste!

I am ashamed to say I blew up and told her that what I wear to a wedding is none of her business, or my sister's....

Yanbu.

good for you. Have you considered telling her simply to Fuck Off?

Your mother is being very rude to you. She doesn't sound very nice. I don't blame you for blowing up. Could you just say "Please don't be rude/hurtful" every time she says you have no taste etc until it hits home?

Mine has always felt entitled to comment on my clothes, even though I'm now 33.

About a year ago I just blew my top, told her I didn't take the piss out of what she wore so I didn't expect her to do it with me. She did a goldfish impression for a few seconds and then stomped off, but she's not said anything since and we have a much healthier relationship.

YANBU, it's very annoying.

My mother gets on my nerves all the time by doing something similar, eg telling me to go once a week to hairdressers to straighten hair (yeah right, as if it's easy with a 2 year old finding the time/money to do that), commenting on my clothes, telling me to put on make up on a daily basis etc.

Even if mothers are right about these things (and this is a matter of opinion & depends in each case) it really doesn't help to irritate your daughter & belittle her in the way only mothers manage to do :( Better if all of us figure out what to do about our looks/clothes/make-up on our own, I think most people do something & make changes eventually if they're not happy with the way they look, there's no way they'll do it just because their mother's nagging them... (if anything, it may have the opposite effect).

I've just blown my top at my sister too who had clearly been in on the whole idea re the cheong san. I mean anyone is going to get p'd off when told "this dress is disgusting and tarty and hideous. Maybe you'd like to wear it since you do'nt know how to dress anyway". On whose planet is that even remotely constructive in any way?

I've told them both that they have no idea what I like and no idea what I even actually wear largely because they're too busy being wrapped up in their own bitchy princessiness to notice.

They probably won't speak to me for weeks now but frankly that would be a relief.

My mum knows that I would do this face if she tried to dole out fashion advice to me. Closely followed by telling her to mind her own.

YANBU atall.

My Mum even told me on the day of my Dad's funeral she thought my black leather jacket was not suitable. I wore it anyway.

So wear what you like!

My dad was always on at me to wear Laura Ashley when I was 15. I then decided the Goth look was best for me- black, black and a bit more black... ask her to mind her own business.

YANBU. How annoying.