Hi all,
I've lurked around MN for a while but have never worked up the nerve to post. TBH, I feel a little too embarrassed to talk to any friends/family about this issue so all opinions - positive or negative - would be welcomed.
Recently my very shy DD made a new friend at school - we'll call him Johnny Smith. She was invited over for a playdate and being nervous, asked me to come with her. DH went instead and all went well. DD had a great time and DH and the Smiths took some photos which she's loved looking at since.
DH also had a great time. Mr Smith turned out to be in the military and DH has always had a (up until now) harmless interest in military things, action films etc. Now that he has actually knows someone his age in the military however, this interest has seemed to turn, overnight, into an obsession.
He is forever talking about Mr Smith - how great he is, how great his wife is, how great their home is, endless speculation about Mr Smith's job etc, etc. Since the playdate his behaviour has also changed a lot. He joined a gym out of the blue and then spent hundreds (literally) of £s on new workout gear. He has changed his whole routine to accomodate this and gets up at the crack of dawn to go there, waking me and DC, leaving me alone to contend with the mornings (we also have 2 DS) and coming home tired. He also now spends all his free time in the study playing a horrible violent game he bought or browsing military websites. He also printed out a photo of DD which includes (the very young and attractive) Mrs Smith and has displayed it prominently on the desk.
Last week he came home with a new "haircut" which makes him look like a skinhead. The final straw came yesterday when he announced he would like to join the Territorial Army. Unfortunately I checked and he is just within the age range.
With every passing day I find myself feeling more and more resentful and annoyed. When I try to talk to him about it however, he insists IABVU and that this is no different from me talking about my friends/workmates/family and having my own interests. He will not acknowledge he is behaving erratically/impulsively/selfishly or that he is being somewhat obsessive about the Smiths. I really don't feel IABU however as the last couple of weeks I have honestly felt like he's acting like some kind of cult follower and I really don't like him shutting himself away in the study for hours, ignoring me and DC, playing his game and staring at his picture of Mrs Smith.
Almost overnight I feel like DH has gone from being a mild-mannered, professional, generally helpful and essentially contented DH to a dissatisfied wannabe commando and I don't know what to do.
Thanks so much for reading and any comments/advice good or bad will be most welcome.