Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or is my boss? Pretty sure it's her actually

60 replies

cupcakesandbunting · 24/09/2010 20:38

I am SO angry that I am on the verge of tears. Sorry if this gets a bit long/ranty Angry

I work 8 hours per week in a shop. The shop trades from 9-9pm during the week. My days tend to alternate between wednesday and friday and despite my persistent asking, I am usually only told of my shift patterns with a couple of weeks notice (but that is another thread...) My manager keeps a diary that we can all write dates that we can't work for whatever reasons, exams/holiday/whatever. The general culture there is if you give enough advance notice it is not a problem to change your working days. I checked with my manager in april if I could pop a date down for October that I would be away (next friday). She said that was fine and I popped the date down.

Fast forward to now and I went back to work last wednesday after a two weeks annual leave and she has put me down to work next friday, when I told her I would be away. She huffed and puffed and I pointed out that it had been in her diary since april and she went "the diary has gone missing" So she'slost her diary and obviously not remembered. I have paid £130 for train and accommodation to go to Manchester so I told her as much and that I couldn't do it. She said she'd put me in for wednesday instead (which is what she should have done anyway) and she'd get someone else to do friday. Turns out no-one else can do it so she's just sent me a really shitty Facebook message saying that now she'd got to do it and it had messed up her plans, I should have booked it off as holiday (even though I don't do every friday) and that she'd speak to me next week. What the fuck?!

I replied saying that I don't think it is fair that I should book holiday for a day I don't always work and even more so because it had been OK'd over six months ago! I said that if she had wanted me to book it as leave I would have done but when I brought it up initially it was said that it was enough notice for someone else to work instead of me.

I think that giving notice in april for a date in october is far enough in advance for her to sort her shit out. If she loses her diary, that isn't anyone else's fault. She is a scatty person and she has done this sort of thing before (cocked shifts up and got angry when the onus has fallen on her to sort it) but the onus isn't on me to sort this, is it?

I am so angry with her. She is trying to intimidate me into working it.I know what's coming next; threat of conversation with the area manager. After the shite week I've had (and she knows about it) I am insulted that she has invaded my personal time via fucking Facebook to try and intimidate me. -fume-

Sorry for rant, but I needed it! Grin

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 24/09/2010 20:40

No yanbu
She has messed up and is taking it out on you
Nothing you can do now other than get anything else like this in writing to begin with (if that's even possible)

maxpower · 24/09/2010 20:40

YANBU she should have a more robust system in place than a diary which can go missing

angelberry · 24/09/2010 20:42

YANBU. Ask for the conversation with the area manager if she threatens it, she has more to worry about than you do.

onepieceoflollipop · 24/09/2010 20:43

She is your boss and she sent you a "shitty facebook message" how inappropriate and unprofessional imo.

kitbit · 24/09/2010 20:45
  1. take all work people off your facebook. Now. FFS do people never speak to each other civilly face to face any more? (her by the way, not you)
  2. Area manager - bring it on. If she wants to involve the manager, fine. A very reasonable conversation will ensue in which you can explain that you booked it in April. And that you don't appreciate being communicated to about a professional matter via a social networking site.
  3. Shit happens, the diary is lost and the rota is screwed up. Everyone makes mistakes, but the way it's handled is what matters. Yes, she is being vvv unreasonable. What you do next is up to you, but I would stick to my guns and if the area manager is involved explain it to her/him. It's not a question of willingness, you CAN'T go, you have other plans.

(can you tell this rankles a bit? similar situation many years ago....!)

dizietsma · 24/09/2010 20:46

YANBU.

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 24/09/2010 20:46

That's what I am Shock about, onepiece. I am tired of her unprofessional conduct, not just in this instance but others too. Whenever she is the wrong, she uses the "area manager" threat as a trump card to get her own way. It works with the young students who work with us but I am old and wise Grin

Oh God she is back on Facebook now. I wonder what she will say in reply...

OP posts:
pinkbasket · 24/09/2010 20:46

YANBU.

She is totally out of order. Just remember you have done nothing wrong. Her, however...lost diary, threatening and bullying staff, facebooking them stroppy messages..

pinkbasket · 24/09/2010 20:48

Keep copies of her facebook messages.

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 24/09/2010 20:50

I will do, PinkBasket. I might even c&p them here, for posterity.

OP posts:
zisforzebra · 24/09/2010 20:50

YANBU but your boss definitely is.

DH had exactly the same thing a few weeks back. He'd booked a saturday off for a family wedding only to be written down to work it. He was told he'd have to work it as it was on the rota or the manager would speak to the district manager. DH's reaction to that threat was pretty much "bring it on". Amazingly at that point the manager was able to find someone else to cover the shift Wink

pinkbasket · 24/09/2010 20:51

I am not sure you should put them on here.

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 24/09/2010 20:51

No, I realised that was a bad idea as soon as I pressed send Grin

OP posts:
CoraBear · 24/09/2010 20:52

I worked for a woman like this, I gave her nearly a years notice of wanting to take 2 consecutive weeks off, a week before I was due to leave she tried to bully me and guilt me into not going. You need to stand up for yourself. If she wants to bring in the area manager, bring it on.

I would also recommend keeping a diary of her behaviour, print off that facebook message incase she says she never sent one. I know it seema a bit OTT but it could help you keep your job.

pressyourthumbs · 24/09/2010 20:52

Yanbu. Stick up for yourself and don't work it.

PaulineCampbellJones · 24/09/2010 20:52

YANBU. Even if she has an issue with it it's completely out of order to use Facebook to bully you.

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 24/09/2010 20:53

Zisforzebra Grin I very nearly almost wrote a p.s along the lines of "And if you want to take this up with nameofareamanager, then you can. I don't feel worried about this."

OP posts:
onepieceoflollipop · 24/09/2010 20:53

I would seriously consider e-mailing her a concise and professional message. Copy in your line/area manager too.

something along the lines of you appreciate that it is inconvenient that she has lost her work diary and you are sorry to hear that and she must be understandably very concerned about losing confidential work information.. However you did book a day off i.e next Friday and you gave 5 months notice for this. Also mention that you would appreciate if she direct all replies to x e-mail address (preferably a formal work address if you have one) as you do not access facebook regularly but you understand that she may have been trying to contact you via that format!

She has no way of knowing that you have read her recent thoughts on facebook and this will worry her no doubt.

EightiesChick · 24/09/2010 20:54

Agree with all above. Go and buy a notebook with carbon copy pages - you know the sort, they're only cheap in Stationery or Asda. Say then you got it as a replacement for the diary, and everyone can write their holiday bookings or whatever in it and then keep a copy themselves. I would do this rather than asking about it first - makes it harder for her to argue about it.

Oh, and look for another job. Not that any of this is your fault, but that is always the easiest way of resolving a work situation with an awful boss, unfortunately.

Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 24/09/2010 20:56

I particularly enjoyed the "i'll talk 2 u when i c u"

And? What? What will you say? "Cupcakes, you gave advance warning of six months of a day you could not work. I lost the book documenting this and put you in to work. You cannot do it. This is unacceptable. What do you plan on doing to improve your conduct at work?"

Erm? Tattooing dates on your head, maybe? What can I say?

OP posts:
Original poster
cupcakesandbunting · 24/09/2010 20:58

I've been looking for another job for weeks and weeks, EightiesChick. Nothing would satisfy me more than handing in my two weeks notice. Preferably two weeks before christmas...

OP posts:
Cartoose · 24/09/2010 20:59

Cupcakes, print the facebook messages out now before she deletes them.

Make sure you take them along to the meeting with the area manager.

StealthPolarBear · 24/09/2010 21:00

ooh I like opol's plan. Keeps you the highground. Do that one, please

gingerkirsty · 24/09/2010 21:01

YANBU, she is being disorganised, rude and unprofessional. Keep a record of what has happened, and print off the facebook message to show the area manager if she tries to make trouble for you. Incredibly unprofessional.

teaandcakeplease · 24/09/2010 21:01

Kitbit is right, remove her from your fb page. That is not professional conduct by her.

So what if she gets the area manager involved. She's the one that cocked up not you. Bring it on. She'll look like the silly/ disorganised one not you. Call her bluff about area manager threat.