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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with my dd's German teacher

43 replies

Northernlurker · 24/09/2010 17:24

Dd1 has put her name forward for a trip to Germany. Only 41 places - and that's the first thing that vexes me a bit - there are 120 kids doing the suject!

Anyway the closing date was last Monday 20/09. She was told by her teacher that they should hear today then they were told that although they've counted the slips (59 ) they hadn't had time to pull the names out of the hat. So they know won't know till next Thursday at the earliest as Tuesday is a training day (I know - helpful in the middle of the week in the middle of a 1/2 term )

Pulling 41 names out of a hat and writing them down takes what 20 minutes? AIBU in thinking they should just get on with it and put us all out of our misery!

Poor dd1 is so sensible and calm about it (doesn't get that from me) but she is going to be gutted if she doesn't get to go and I just want to get it over with. So AIBU to think that 9 working days is taking the piss?

OP posts:

activate · 24/09/2010 18:54

I have been trying to write a letter for a week now.

A letter takes what? 5 minutes.

Every time I sit down to do it I get interrupted or a crisis occurs or something else happens I have to deal with from a sick child to a parent wanting just a minute that turns into an hour phone convo.

oh for the joy of finding 20 minutes to do something.

and yes "names in the hat" is a total euphemism.

Original poster

Northernlurker · 24/09/2010 18:57

Goblinchild - I'm working very hard at not being pita mother who hounds teachers So far I've totally let them be - same as at Primary. My philosophy is that it's all good as long as dd1 (or 2) is ok. I'm just worried about how she'll feel if she doesn't get to go - or indeed if they don't find out soon. She is quite highly strung in general. She's doing fab with this though - very character building.
The trip is in December.
Her next German lesson is next Friday because they lose Tuesday for a training day. The lesson they've been told they will hear is her French lesson.

OP posts:

Goblinchild · 24/09/2010 19:00

Glad to read that NL.
And for all those worried parents out there

'If you actually think it's 'names out of the hat' you are seriously naive. Only the nice kids get to go - who on earth would risk the trip on some shitty loony kid coming along?'

is not always true. My son has been on three residential trips at secondary.

Original poster

Northernlurker · 24/09/2010 19:00

OP posts:

Odysseus · 24/09/2010 19:02

Goblinchild · 24/09/2010 19:05

They wrote him his own personal risk assessment and asked me for the best way to facilitate a good trip. Took a couple of extra days of toing and froing, but very effective as a result.

MaMoTTaT · 24/09/2010 19:09

oh yes names in the hat definitely a euphanism,

my BF is running an after school club at the junior school. It's a brand new venture, she can only take 20 children per 6 week rotation.

There were 36 slips came back initially.

I don't think it's a co-incidence that most of the children that had their names pulled out of the hat for the first 6 week lot were children that my BF knows, and whose parents she knows - meaning she can get feedback on what worked and what didn't work before doing the next lot.

Every child that sent the slip back WILL get to go..........but I'm not convinced it was a pure "names out of the hat" for the first lot

Lancelottie · 24/09/2010 19:09

Mine gets first choice. Seriously. But he comes with attached TA, and he usually fiercely doesn't want to go and has to be wheedled into it. Equally character building in a different way!

loopyloops · 24/09/2010 22:40

I was going to say, any child with TA support will be a big bonus for a residential trip, so might make their way up towards the top of the "hat" IYSWIM.

salizchap · 25/09/2010 01:44

Not necessarily Loopyloops. Depends on the needs of the student and the personal situation of the TA(s).

I work about 50% of my timetable with a student with a physical disabiliity who needs intimate care. This would involve being available 24/7, at any time during the night or day. This student is very bright and likes Languages. I am concerned for her because they have started talking about the school trips on offer next year. I would love to go to assist if I could as I speak the language she is studying. However, I have a DS for whom I am 100% responsible as a lone parent. So there is the problem of who I could leave him with for a week. All the other TAs who are trained to work with her also have young DSs.

Secondly, while we would be getting the chance to visit another country for 'free', I do not feel it would compensate being on duty 24/7 (she needs care all through the night, so I would have to get up at least once/2 times to attend to her), for no extra pay, and with no breaks, as other staff would not be able to deal with her needs.

The same would go for any SEN student. A large proportion of TAs are mums, because having the same holidays as kids almost compensates for the awful pay. People without kids generally move on quickly onto better paid jobs.

As for the 'names from a hat', of course they will sort out the wheat from the chaff. They can't take badly behaved kids away, mainly because it could be a safety issue. If they won't listen to adults at school they could be a liability. The school also has to be seen to not tolerate bad behaviour. Any kids who are consistantly disruptive and uncooperative are excluded from extra curricular activities.

salizchap · 25/09/2010 01:48

Also, every adult who goes has to be paid for somehow. Having an extra adult dedicated to just one child is an extra financial burden, I'm afraid.

Goblinchild · 25/09/2010 08:02

'They can't take badly behaved kids away, mainly because it could be a safety issue. If they won't listen to adults at school they could be a liability. The school also has to be seen to not tolerate bad behaviour. Any kids who are consistantly disruptive and uncooperative are excluded from extra curricular activities.'

I work in an inclusive school, and my son attends a 1500 pupil school with a policy of inclusion.
We make every possible effort to facilitate the inclusion of all children to all activities, and if that means accessing finance, adapting situations and events or tailoring things to enable them to be there, we do. My son does not come with a TA attached, but the teachers are all aware of his specific needs in a challenging environment.
Parents of 'nice' children have never had a problem with it, we are very proactive and pre-emptive about possible problems with disruptive, sn or difficult children.
I am disappointed that on the SN boards I am constantly reminded that a huge number of schools can't be bothered to make an effort on the part of all of their children

prozacfairy · 25/09/2010 08:09

Ha! If teachers really have lists of students they wouldn't even take to a bus stop it probably explains why my secondary school had hardly any school trips We would probably ALL have been on that list!

Original poster

Northernlurker · 27/09/2010 19:03

Well some news today (so either teacher is a mumsnetter or somebody else complained) and dd1 is on the trip as is her very good friend! Am very pleased - all is forgiven

OP posts:

mumbar · 27/09/2010 19:19

LOL at wheedling out the 'bad' kids. DS school has a science club weekly at lunchtimes, TA run. He has also had to have his own risk assesment becuase of his allergies (cause unknown but probably pollen). I was worried he'd be excluded but they are doing all they can which actually ed me. And from what I gather he is also a PITA at school so the extra inclusion is a bigger

Goblinchild

mumbar · 27/09/2010 19:20

Glad DD1 is on the trip.

VictorianIce · 27/09/2010 19:28

I don't know any teacher who has a spare 20 minutes before, during or after school, most days.

Teachers don't get paid overtime for taking your darling children on a trip. They give up part of their holidays, or weekends to go away overnight with 41 teenagers (or whatever). Don't you think they should be able to have some say in those who they will be responsible for?

120 kids would mean something like 3 coaches and 12 staff, which would be disruptive to any school.

MFL teachers and any teachers who do overnight trips or trips abroad are utter saints for even considering it.

scaryteacher · 27/09/2010 19:38

I would add that some of us even pay for their own kids to board for a week when their childcare arrangements suddenly go to sea, so that trips can go ahead as planned.

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