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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be sad about the way this dad speaks to his son?

7 replies

kittywise · 24/09/2010 14:48

I've posted in IABU because I don't really know where else to put this. I could do with a "what would you do....?" section.
There is a dad of three boys at our school, he brings them in and collects them most days as the mum works, parents are no longer together. Only relevant because the mum is not around at school times so doesn't know what happens iyswim?
Mum is lovely and friendly, dad is quiet, doesn't speak, I have tried to strike up conversations with him, not got very far.
In the all the many years I have passed him with his children, I realise I have never ever heard him chatting to them, you know the banter that usually goes on. The only time he speaks is to tell them off. I have never seen him smile, ever.

Ok, so that's a bit sad, but no great parenting crime. There is ,however, something that bothers me. His middle son age 6 always seems to get the brunt of the telling off/ cross words. This child is very timid, hardly speaks, but is a lovely boy. The father is very strict with him in particular.
Yesterday close to school in the morning, I could hear someone really laying into their child. I thought something really serious must have happened. Then there was this dad, he's a BIG man, shouting and shouting at this little boy and it quickly became apparent that this was because the had boy complained that his little brother had pushed into him.
The dad was accusing him of lying, really yelling at him.
Well this has been niggling me.
If you were me would you say something to anyone.
I have wrestled with the morals of this. Is it my duty to mention concerns to the school for the boy's sake. Should I get my hoooter out of the situation?
I have never had the misfortune to worry about the welfare of a child ( outside teaching that is) and I don't know what to do
If I were that child's mother I would want to know.

So if you were me what would you do?
God we really need a WWYD? section here.

OP posts:
KnitterNotTwitter · 24/09/2010 14:51

Hey

there is a what would you do? section!!

But seing as you've asked if you didn't actually see the incident then you can't comment. Maybe the little brother didn't push him over and he was lying...

Sad though

kittywise · 24/09/2010 14:53

duh! Thanks, I looked, honest. I think I got lost in the topics, easily done. And I've been here yonks too!

OP posts:
Animation · 24/09/2010 14:54

Yes I would say something - on the lines of, "good God man get a grip"!!

MollysChambers · 24/09/2010 15:00

TBH I'm not sure you should do anything. School run isn't really indicative of parenting style all the time surely? With this particular incident you didn't see what happened. He sounds like a grumpy git though.

Greensleeves · 24/09/2010 15:00

The WWYD section was MY idea, and nobody ever uses it

kitty, I would talk to the teacher if I were you. If there is background that you odn't know about or whetever, then the school will either already know or will need to know, so no harm done there.

I would be upset by this too. I know a mother who calls her 4yo dd "devil child", dirty girl" and "little bitch" Sad

I don't think it could hurt to let someone at school kow.

kittywise · 24/09/2010 16:00

I think I might have to say something to the teacher. No I didn't see the incident, only the tail end and I know we all loose our tempers. But nothing that that child could have done warranted the shouting he got. He had accused his brother of pushing him whilst they were walking along, that much I did get, what he got from his father was a horrible reaction.
It's just that for years now, 5 years day in day out I have well just been aware of how this man is with his children.

OP posts:
kittywise · 24/09/2010 16:02

ah well greeny, now I know it's there, can't find it, but I know its there, i'll use it LOL. I don't like posting in this topic, it's asking for trouble, always. < runs away>

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