To think he should have been late to work?

[sickchildren]

I have younger son who is not well. He has been throwing up all night. He is weak and this morning can hardly move it is such a bad virus. I think I am coming down with it as well.

Older child needs to get to school. There is O WAY DC2 is well enough to take to the school gate.

I asked DH to drop DC off for me, but he refused saying it would make him late for work.

So I have had to ask a neighbour, whose DC dont attend the same school to drop DC off. I am incredibly grateful for this as I know it gave her a busy morning.

But I am annoyed that DH wouldnt do it. It is part of being a parent isnt it? I could understand if there was a major meeting o some such, but there wasnt, it was just being late.

There is no way DC2 would have made it up to school and back. He is literally that weak. He cant even keep down water. :(

For completeness DH did take of 2 and 1/2 days last week when I was ill. So I understand his reluctance but it is not the whole day, just being late.

AIBU? (probably, but feeling ill!!!)

How old is ds2 and how far are you from school?

Perhaps words have been had with dh by work, and he didn't think he could afford to be late.

ds2 is 3 and we are about a mile and a half away. Yes, we could dive but you have to stand around until the teaches get there. There is a no parking zone so have to get out and walk etc. I would hate for the other children to get sick (DS 2 does not have a buggy so cant exclude him in there) The teaches have us kine up with the kids and I have another child to carry so I couldnt keep DS2 away from the others and he is literally so weak he is having trouble standing.

*drive.

On the face of it, I would say he should have done it. You're both parents and should share the load when things go wrong.

However, it depends on how big a deal it would have been for him to be late versus how hard it was to find an alternative? Are his bosses cheesed off already because he had time off last week? If there were no option of getting your neighbour to do it, would he have still refused and made you either have to take the vomiting child with you, or kept the older one of school?

Werewolf. Perhaps, but doubtful as he is quite senior, and I think he would have told me. But you raise a valid point.

it depends.... I think he SHOULD have been able to do it and work should understand, after all he is a parent. But often they don't, I know my DH has been frowned upon when I was pregnant with DD2 and throwing up all over the place so he went in a bit late just so I could have a couple of hours in bed while he looked after our 2yo.

If it was his own decision, YANBU, if it's because he's worried about what work will think, it's not right but I would understand.

Pjmama. Yes, if neighbour didnt do it, DC1 would have stayed home. DH left before arrangements had been made, although he knew I was having trouble finding someone to help out.
And he hasnt called since to see how he got to school, or if in fact he did get there!!

He wouldn't have been dropping him off "for you", it's his child as well so he should have done it. Words by work or not, if your other child was too ill to go out then dh should have dropped him at school. Part and parcel of parenting imo.

Then unless there would have been dire consequences at work from him being late, he is out of order. They're his children too and to just sod off to work and leave you to deal with it all without a backward glance is pretty crappy.

inclined to agree with pyjama now. You should definitely make him take DS1 out for the day tomorrow so you and DS2 can recuperate!

On another note (and yes, your husband should have helped!) have you seen a doctor for your youngest?

If he's not keeping anything down and can't stand, that needs looking at, even if all they do is reassure you.

YANBU

Hope your youngest is okay. Will your H be picking up your eldest?

Okay RANT:

Friend picked up DC for me. DC has an after school activity that he has been looking forward to for weeks. DH got pissed off when dC called him to ask him to come home early to take him. DH has offered alternative to go as a family on the weekend, pending me feeling better. DC is gutte but taking it well. I was also meant to be picking up things for his birthday today which is on the weekend. Clearly this did not get done. Just had an email from him (he is picking up cake ingredients) saying he will pick the present up AFTER SPORT TOMORROW!!!!! Well, thanks DH for picking it up and all that, but his sport goes all day and after today if I am still feeling the same I will not cope. I wrote back that I was concerned that I would still be feeing shit, and he offered to go to the chemist. NOT cancel his sport, which he plays every weekend. But the bloody Chemist! Clearly he has no intention of even entertaining the idea of not going! (and he went last weekend when I was feeling shit as well, but it wasnt as bad as this, vomiting, crippling stomach cramps etc).

He is an arsehole.

Is he aware of just how sick you are, i.e. have you spelled out precisely how bad it is? Because it boggles my mind that he can know this and yet still think his life just carries on as normal!

YADNBU - my DH knows that if I'm not well, he's going nowhere and I'd be furious if he tried this with me

Never mind him, have you been to the GP? To be sick last week, recover and now be coming down with something else already suggests that your immune system is not functioning as well as it might be - maybe worth getting yourself checked over.

Yes He asked my symptoms and I replied..D & V, stomach cramps and aches and pains.
And he also knows DC2 hasnt moved off the couch he is feeling so horrid.

Maybe i should just put dc2 and dc3 in dressing gowns and not get out of the car? I can watch him walk in ? But he is only 4! Stressed!

Oh FFS dc3 just threw up on me! Add another one to the casualty list......

Sleeping: I went last week Doc advised me to do less running around as I was too worn down and loosing too much weight. So I know my immune system is not good right now.

erm, i woudlnt be sending DC1 anywhere, surely he will come down with this in the next day or two aswel, surely he is just passing it around. Make life easier and have him home. All stay home, (except for docs, and it really sounds like your kids if not you really need the doctors!) order your shopping/takeaways. Get well.

Secondly, your (d)H sounds like an uncaring selfish prick. And a shitty dad. Sorry your suffering because of his twatishness, perhaps once your well you should look at sorting him out?

TBH I think you ABU.

Are you a SAHM? IMO part of the deal with being a SAHM is that you have to deal with this stuff in whichever way you can (and I do sympathise as myself (pregnant) and 2xDC were struck down with a horrendous sick bug last week which left be unable to get out of bed. DH is working overseas).

Could you not have driven up to the school, and either 1) collared another parent you know to walk DC1 in or 2) but DC3 in a buggy and carried DC2?

That is if you really thought it was worth taking DC1 in...presumably if you, DC2 and DC3 are all sick it is only a matter of hours before DC1 comes down with it too.

Unbelievable.

I think you should write it all out, exactly the way you've written it out here, and show DH. In fact just show him this thread.

Hopefully that will shame him into behaving in a more helpful and caring way.

If not then don't know what to say