To clean and sort out my brother's house?

[EricNorthmansmistress]

So we are 'between houses' for 10 days or so, and my DBro and his DP have kindly said we can stay in their (small) spare room. We know this is a big favour and intend to be very respectful and helpful. They are a bit broke so for eg we did a big food shop and will keep the fridge stocked for everyone. I'm buying a couple of things they need for the house and we'll do as much housework as possible. The thing is that they are a bit scummy aBOUT a couple of things, like the state of their fridge, and never cleaning the loo. Some things are very clean so it's a bit odd. Anyway I organised the fridge when I brought the shopping in, and I just had to stick bleach down the loo which has not been mentioned. AIBU? How can I help without seeming critical?

It could be taken as a bit patronising to be honest. it's only 10 days, maybe clean the loo and just live with the rest.

I'm not 100% tidy, there's always something I've not got round to doing/cleaning - I'd be really hurt and embarrassed if someone cleaned my house.

You can come and stay with me, if it's too much for your brother. I don't mind at all

YANBU but then I like it when people come and clean my house for me. It's just that no-one ever does

YANBU. Just say you feel slack for staying and not pulling your weight wrt housework. I'd NEVER think ill of anyone who cleaned my house for me

I know what you mean though. We stayed for the weekend at a friends house and they had a small baby. I totally blitzed tehir kitchen after I washed the dinner stuff up without even thinking The friend said she was happy for me doing it but I hoped I hadn't patronised her :(

I'd leave it at the loo, lots of people get offended if you clean for them! Tbh, if somethings are v clean and some not they probably just haven't got round to those things yet. Or there's a stalemate about whose job it is!

Clean the whole place and say you did it as you were so grateful and want
ed to feel useful.
Just do it.

Cleaning up after yourself is one thing, and only polite if you're staying with someone. But if someone took it upon themselves to clean my fridge I'd take it as a criticism and feel they were being interfering.

If they are scummy they probably wont even notice that you have done it. I wouldn't do a deep clean but carry on and clean up after yourself (to your standards) as you would in your own home when cooking etc.

When my aunt has babysat for me, she has cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen for us out of sheer boredom once DS was asleep - fine by me!

I'd also not move stuff around/reorganise things. But maybe do stuff which would be added to by you being there... So for example cleaning the loo or bath because there's more people using it or cleaning the sink after washing up.

I DETEST people cleaning up my house when they are trying to be helpful. Inevitably I can't find anything.

I cleaned ou the fridge when I stayed with my sis in similar circumstances - I did it on the basis that I had got a big shop in and needed to put everything away so a sort out was required although I don't think they even noticed.

Thanks. They said they planned to clean the kitchen and bathroom tonight before DH and DS arrive so I can help with that. We all take the piss out of them (fondly) for not having anything useful - for example I have just bought them a drainer and broom and they have lived there for 18 months...other friends had to buy them sofa cushions for example. It's not scummy, exactly, they just don't seem fussed! The flat is generally tidy and is getting more homely as people buy them struff! The loo thing is weird though, they literally never clean it. They staqyed in our place for 2 months while we were away and when I came back the loo was yellow {gross}. Anyway, I'll just carry on and make it about doing my share to help out

Clean by all means - but don't reorganize.

My mum came to stay and reorganized all my kitchen cupboards into her little mental scheme of where the plates should go etc. Drove me nuts, not least because she's obsessed, at the grand height of 5 foot and half an inch, with putting plates in cupboards she can't actually reach. I put big heavy smashable things in LOW cupboards in case I drop them when getting them out, not in high cupboards where I'm grasping for them by my fingertips!