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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for no birthday/Christmas present this year?

27 replies

Algebra18MinusPiEquals16 · 22/09/2010 20:56

I really can't think of anything I want.

basically we don't have a lot of money, I have already got the kids presents, and DH and I agreed on a £50 budget each for each others' presents covering christmas and birthday (we both have winter birthdays). I've chosen all his stuff for both occasions.

we've also agreed to treat ourselves to 2 DVD sets (family guy s9 and the futurama films) as we don't have the money to just randomly buy them IYSWIM.

as the kids are older all I really care about is seeing them (and DH and his 3 kids) open their presents. that's why I've organised their stuff so early, I'm so excited to see their faces!

also, DH has just been signed off sick, he is housebound apart from physio and is unlikely to get to the shops for several weeks if not months. by his own admission he's crap at internet stuff so he probably wouldn't be able to get me anything anyway!

so WIBU to say don't get me anything this year? and if IABU, WTF do I ask for Confused

OP posts:
Skyrg · 22/09/2010 21:00

Are you talking about just him, or your children as well, or everyone? Who don't you want presents from?

2rebecca · 22/09/2010 21:50

It's only September! YABU for that alone.

paisleyleaf · 22/09/2010 22:11

Me and DH buy each other christmas stuff that would probably just be on most people's groceries list that month.
Tia Maria/brandy/cheese/chocolate.
We basically buy each other christmas. But tbh honest that's what it's all about for me now: having nice food and drink in.

zapostrophe · 22/09/2010 22:15

This reply has been deleted

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gtamom · 23/09/2010 09:48

Just tell him you really have everything you could ever ask for. If he will feel badly for not buying you something, can you think of anything at all that you would enjoy? Ask him to write you a song for instance?

SexyDomesticatedDad · 23/09/2010 09:51

socks and sex does it for me Grin

Original poster
Algebra18MinusPiEquals16 · 23/09/2010 10:01

:o

well, we had a chat last night, and we discussed the idea instead of actual presents, we may get my piano moved up from my parents house.

OP posts:
Animation · 23/09/2010 10:12

By saying you don't want anything - you're depriving others of giving to you and having their gift recieved.

Rockbird · 23/09/2010 10:16

I am not asking for anything. I also asked for nothing from DH for my birthday last week. He got up early and cooked me breakfast (he can't cook so it was a big effort for him) and I really appreciated that. We're in the same situation, totally skint and nothing I want other than an iPad. I'd be very happy with a little note that said he'd make me cups of tea on demand for a month or something :)

But is DH's birthday tomorrow and I'll probably get him something even though he has said the same!

Lavenderboo · 23/09/2010 12:24

Really? Nothing you can think of at all? Thats fine if its true but lots of people say it then go round with a face like a slapped bum on Christmas morning when nothing appears under the tree and martyr themselves on a tinsel covered cross for the rest of the day.

However, Algebra is probably a reasonable person, and not a materialistic, greedy hag, and if someone really wants to get you something, how about donation to favourite charity?

zapostrophe · 23/09/2010 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

QuintessentialShadows · 23/09/2010 12:40

Nothing? Not even a travel press coffee maker for your luxurious gourmet coffee on the go??? Shock

upahill · 23/09/2010 12:44

I love buying people I love Christmas and birthday presents.
I buy for 6 friends as well as my family.

I like picking something relevant to them and would be dissapointed if they turned round and said they wanted nothing.

I would be so upset if my DH didn't get me anything for Christmas and birthday as well tbh

QuintessentialShadows · 23/09/2010 12:51

I was mortified when I gave a Christmas present to a friend and she looked horrified and said "I dont want it, I have not bought you anything". I was really upset. I told her I did not care if I did not get anything from her, I had enjoyed chosing her present and I wanted to give her something. She grumblingly accepted, and was clearly not happy.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 23/09/2010 13:04

YABU, if there really isn't anything you desperately want.

Every year I struggle to think of something I want. I don't like surprises and I would hate someone to spend money on something for me that I don't need or like and subsequently wouldn't use.

I am also pants at thinking of presents for others people (apart from DD)

I think, IMO, that Christmas is for the children. As an adult, it is more important to see DD happy than have gifts to unwrap for myself.

This year I am getting a Pandora from DH and it has taken me months of indecisiveness to finally decide if I want it or not and may even change my mind again nearer the time.

I'm a nightmare, aren't I!? Grin

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 23/09/2010 13:06

That was meant to say YANBU

Dur!

TitsalinaBumSquash · 23/09/2010 13:08

Hmm i would have asked for £25 each in Book vouchers for Birthday and Christmas if i were you, mainly because i see all these lovely books on Amazon though the year that i can't afford to just buy so it would be nice to have that reserve of Vouchers there for during the year.

Curiousmama · 23/09/2010 13:11

yanbu if it's just dp or if you agree with adults it's children only gifts. I often buy for my neice and sis but they don't have much cash so I don't expect anything from them. I buy for neice's dcs too but apart from them, mum and dp's family it's only for friends and their families.

Blimey looks a lot in type, better get started Confused Wink

Curiousmama · 23/09/2010 13:11

And quint your friend for example is a twat!

Ragwort · 23/09/2010 13:17

I have just posted similar comments on a the wedding gift etiquette thread - I really DO NOT WANT ANY MORE 'THINGS' in my life - the sort of presents I like are charity (ie: send a cow or something like that) or a 'promise' - for my birthday my DH valeted my car - I really appreciated that; it's something I hate doing (actually I never do it) so it was very thoughtful and useful.

We have a pact with all 'over 18s' in our family not to exchange gifts - for birthdays my mother and I have a nice meal out together.

What I would love is an offer from a friend or family member to babysit for an evening (or weekend Grin), that would be so useful.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 23/09/2010 13:23

So agree with Ragwort and others. There is nothing that I need. My drawers and wardrobe are bulging with stuff - the whole house is overrun with stuff. In fact, I want to get rid of stuff, not add to it. I've told DH not to get me anything - instead I've asked him to put in what he would have spent into the holiday fund for next year. I'm also trying to summon the courage to tell the relatives the same, and am seriously rethinking the kids/dh presents, giving an experience (eg concerts, days out) instead of more of the same stuff

YADNBU.

Curiousmama · 23/09/2010 13:27

A night away in a nice hotel alone may suit some mothers? With spa treatments thrown in of course Wink

Wouldn't suit me like as I love to natter too much Grin

alardi · 23/09/2010 13:31

You could ask for charity gifts -- I had to lean on relatives to do it, but I was very chuffed with donations to Oxfam last year as gifts. Nothing else would have made me happier.

This year I want to spend Xmas day working in a soup kitchen, am not sure how to sell that to DH & DC, though.

deaddei · 23/09/2010 13:33

Dh and I buy each other gifts, and I buy for the dcs, but no other people.
I have no parents, dh's used to give odd, random gifts until we said please don't.
My friends and I do not buy at Christmas- just birthdays.
It makes life so simple.

diddl · 23/09/2010 13:41

YANBU.

Husband & I haven´t bought each other bday or Christmas gifts for years.

If we happen to see something we know that the other would like, fine, we get it for them.