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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I take mil.fil on holiday with us?

12 replies

costacoffee · 22/09/2010 20:26

We are going on a special holiday next year with our dc's to discuss our wedding and set a date,this will be a honey moon for us as we wont be able to afford one when we marry.

It will be a time to bond as a family and Im really looking forward to it.

Mil has said she would come with fil but I dont no why?,she said why dont you consider going abroad and they would come.

I said if we went abroad we would go to a holiday village so that the kids would be catered for in the day, and if we wanted it a meal etc their are nneb creches.

Originally my dp said we could just go off and marry abroad,I said no did not fancy that,just puzzled why she would want to come?, nd would it be a good idea.

OP posts:
taintedpaint · 22/09/2010 20:29

I'm a bit confused costa! Why are you going on holiday to discuss the wedding?

Is it possible your MIL has got it into her head that you will be getting married on this holiday and has said she will come so she can be at the wedding?

Ragwort · 22/09/2010 20:33

Hmm Totally bizarre ........ a honeymoon to discuss a wedding ?

Original poster
costacoffee · 22/09/2010 20:34

We are going on holiday to celebrate that we have known each other nearly twenty years,so treating ourselves and the dc's and thats why we are setting the date there and then,as we dont get much time together as a family.

OP posts:
Anenome · 22/09/2010 20:35

I dont think it's weird to go away...and plan a wedding!

The OP probably wants to make it an enjoyable thing...fun...I DO think it odd that your in laws want to come!

Just say no! Say..thanks for offerinng to come but we want it to be a bit romantic and need some time alone.

Original poster
costacoffee · 22/09/2010 20:37

Not a honeymoon as such I have just called it that,a special holiday to celebrate that we have been in each other lives 20 years ,the holiday is to spend some special time as a family and fianlly set a date,sorry I did not a make it clear.

OP posts:
Portofino · 22/09/2010 20:38

After 20 years, I do find it a bit strange that you want to go on holiday to set a date. Saying that it is weirder that your ILs expect to come with you.

Portofino · 22/09/2010 20:39

If you can't afford a honeymoon as well, why don't you get married first? Confused

onepieceoflollipop · 22/09/2010 20:42

Have you been crystal clear with your ils. Where has this misunderstanding arisen? Do they usually accompany you on holidays? And more importantly what does your dp think about this; they are his parents after all?!

Original poster
costacoffee · 22/09/2010 20:56

opfp dp suggested origianlly to go abroad and marry,I wanted to elope without the hassell.

Yes we have been on holiday together before with in laws but we did not this year.

I mentioned it and said I was not keen ,but he said he will think about going abroad but he did not think it was a great idea ,but I told him as mil will ask him about it.

OP posts:
2rebecca · 22/09/2010 21:49

Why do you have to discuss whether or not to marry in another country? That's the bit I don't get. If you've been together 20 years surely the wedding is just a rubber stamp as you already have a committment and kids together. I'd go to the reg office in the next few weeks and use the holiday as honeymoon, not taking inlaws with you. Inviting yourself on holiday with younger relatives seems strange, but it's easy to say no.

elterwater · 22/09/2010 22:05

Another one here who cannot understand why the discussions have to take place abroad! Weird.

Firawla · 22/09/2010 22:20

if you dont want them to come just say no

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