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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is a bit weird?

18 replies

Tokyotwist · 22/09/2010 20:08

Just got home and found that MIL who's visiting has been in our room and made the bed.

Yes we should have made it ourselves (blame my OH as he was last in bed).

AIBU to think it's a bit weird. I can't help wondering what else she did whilst she was in there given that she is extremely nosy and I left all my naughty reading in the drawer next to the bed Blush.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 22/09/2010 20:09

It is a bit weird, hope the reading matter gave her an eyeful Grin

chandellina · 22/09/2010 20:14

i hope you thanked her.

Balsam · 22/09/2010 20:16

Very weird and intrusive. She shouldn't be going into your bedroom at all without your permission.

Original poster
Tokyotwist · 22/09/2010 20:17

Chandellina... Are you kidding? I could barely look at her thinking she will probably never view me in the same way again Grin, let alone remind her by refering to the bed.

OP posts:
KirstyJC · 22/09/2010 20:18

Yes it is weird! Although, not as weird as when my friend's MIL babysat for them one evening and when they got back she had done their washing.....gone into their room, emptied their washing basket, dirty kecks and all, and put it into the machine, then hung it all out on the airer...

Now that's REALLY weird! Shock

lal123 · 22/09/2010 20:21

When we go on holiday MIL always comes up and cleans the place from top to toe. First time I thought it was weird, second time I'd made sure I'd at least roughly cleaned it before we left, now I look forward to coming home to a sparkly house!

diddl · 22/09/2010 20:22

I think perhaps not weird if the door was open & she could easily see that the bed was unmade.
But otherwise-weird!

chandellina · 22/09/2010 20:23

i'm not kidding. if my MIL does housekeeping for me I'm going to thank her. even if i think it's inappropriate. I'd definitely say - you didn't need to do that, it's sort of embarassing to have people in our room.

VictoriasLittleKnownSecret · 22/09/2010 20:25

My mum babysits after school one night a week. I always come home from work to find my DD downstairs and my mum in my bedroom or wandering.

I hate it and I know she's snooping.

I shut my bedroom door and it is always open when I get in.
Part of me things oh WTF - so what... but another part feels invaded.

Ipom · 22/09/2010 20:27

Arrgghhh...my mum does that when she visits and it drives me up the wall.

Anenome · 22/09/2010 20:31

Weird! But then I am one to talk...my own MIL is mad! She once walked into my and DH's room while we were IN IT and took our dirty washing downstairs for us!

This is the same woman who stuck weird ugly decal transfer things all over my French Windows because A. She thought they were pretty and B because it would stop my DD running into the glass....Hmm she had never done that once in three years of living here!

Oh...and she ruined my DD's handpainted bed by sticking...DOLPHIN STICKERS on the headboard which then pulled off the paint!

Right...YANBU but it could be worse!

ChippingIn · 22/09/2010 20:37

It's the sort of thing my Mum would have done before my SIL put her through her training paces!! My Mum just wants to help and do anything she can to make your life easier.... she really doesn't 'see' how terfering/embarassing etc it is - and she certainly doesn't mean it to be. It's a shame for all concerned really as Mum would do so much for my SIL & feel happy she was helping and SIL would have much less housework to do herself (mind you, she doesn't do a lot anyway Grin).... but there you go, everyone has to work it out for themselves don't they!

nimbs · 22/09/2010 20:55

My DH's mum did this once - years ago when we first got together - even putting the joke(promise)handcuffs I'd given him for valentines on the bedside table Blush - she never did it again though - lol

pushmepullyou · 22/09/2010 20:58

My MIL would (and does) do the same. I have taken the opposite tack from ChippingIn's SIL and realised that a) it makes her happy and b) I hate housework!

I do find it intrusive and I would prefer to live with the additional housework (or more likely mess Grin), but she would genuinely be so upset and offended that I would rather put up with it.

thighsmadeofcheddar · 22/09/2010 20:58

I don't understand the problem to be honest. Happy to have anyone make our bed! Saves me doing it for the 10,000th time.

AgentZigzag · 22/09/2010 21:52

Cheddar, it's because the bed/bedroom of your DS/DD when they're adults is private , only to be entered if you're invited.

Anyone who doesn't understand or doesn't care about those boundaries will inevitably struggle with the other numerous boundaries, and so should be put straight as soon as.

Curlybrunette · 22/09/2010 22:30

I would be really embarrassed if mine did only because it's so bloody messy I'd hate her to think I'm a grotty cow (which I'm not, but maybe looking at my bedroom you'd think I was!!!!!).

If you don't want her to do it again you could put a variety of sex toys all around your room and hopefully it will embarrass her so much to 'accidently' find them that she won't go in there again.

Just remember to put them in places dc can't get them or it could be doubly awkward...

VictoriasLittleKnownSecret · 22/09/2010 22:45

Agent ZZ has it spot on. It is about boundaries and a bedroom/dirty washing are private and people should only cross that boundary after an invite to do so.

If you don't have boundaries... fine but possibly you cross other people's without realising.

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