Not to expect people to say you don't want another baby

[appleslice]

When I have found out that I need to have an hysterectomy.It makes me mad and I find it insensitive.
Just because I have already got 2 DS (16 & 12) it doesn't mean I don't want another child (as now in a very happy relationship with a great man) and to me it isn't just about having another baby its about my choice being took away and the thought of going through the menopause at 37 and the thought of not being a complete women (silly I know)....

i hope you recover from the surgery quickly .... be kind to yourself in the days ahead x

Sat here crying my eyes out.

Thank you Marjee for your kind words

thanks droves

xx

Hi Appleslice, people are horribley insensitive, and I'm sorry to hear about what you are having to go through, I'm 27 and am going to probably have to have both ovaries removed due to some pretty nasty cysts.
When I try to talk to people about the fact I probably won't have babies it's amazing the blanket response of 'oh my friends cousins sister in law had that and she got pregnant!'
another friend said 'oh girls like you always catch pregnant' really?!?
It's ridiculous that people think that this s somehow a comfort. I totally get where you're coming from.

I suppose people just assume that due to the age of your dcs that you wouldn't consider more. Most people haven't been in that situation and wouldn't assume you we're upset since you have dcs.
It's insensitive and upsetting and I think I would feel the same as you. Whether you wanted more or not your choice is being made for you and that must be really hard to accept.
You have lots of support here and I think counselling would be a good idea.
You are no less of a woman. You are still you. Xx

I was overjoyed when my bits were taken out! I'd had the two children I wanted and was relieved not to have the hassle of contraception and periods ever again. I'd suffered for years with gynae problems and was so pleased when it was all over, I feel far more feminine now due to not being so hormonal, spotty and laid up with abdominal pains. Hopefully you'll be able to appreciate the advantages of the op in time.

Oh Hedge that is awful, people should think before they speak I am quite sensitive to people feeling as have got quite a few friends that had trouble having babies.
Thanks funky for your understanding.
London if you dont mind me asking how old was you when you had your and was it by key hole and did you go on HRT

Here is a very good support and information group for women who have had hysterectomies. The forums are great.

www.hystersisters.com/
Hope you have a full and speedy recovery.

Obviously I don't know why you need the hysterectomy (can guess some possibles from what you have said as I am a surgeon but clearly don't know and don't expect you to say if you don't want to). But is it worth getting a second opinion? A hysterectomy may well be the only (or much the best) option but there may well be others. Either way if the outcome is the same at least you are more likely to feel as though at least you had looked into every option.

YANBU at all. Sending you a big cyber hug x

sorry meant to say even if the outcome is the same... Of course best case scenario is someone else may feel there is a less radical alternative that is worth discussing...

Hi Alicet thank you for your words,I dont mind saying at all here goes 3 years ago I had surgery for severe endometriosis where I had major surgery (cut open)sorry dont know the correct name for it. And I had a 9cm cyst removed and my left ovary along with the endometriosis being cut away my bowel was stuck then but was easy to cut away as not much of it was stuck. This time when I went in for keyhole was due to me and my consultant thinking that the endometriosis had return due to various things and that my bowel medication that I have taken for the last 3 years wasnt working as well so went in and had keyhole to remove any adhensions and any endometriosis but when I came round the consultant said that the endometriosis hadnt returned but my large and small bowel is stuck completely to my womb and that part of my bowel has a kink in and when she tried to move the bowel it wouldnt budge, and that part of my right ovary is stuck down to. So going forward as can do with out my ovary / womb etc and not really my bowel she thinks the best way forward would be to remove them but obviously I dont know everything until I go back in a few weeks to speak to her and see how we are going to move forward but she did mention maybe leaving the womb so that i can have egg donation, but she has to also speak to the bowel surgeon as they will have to work together. I completely trust my surgeon as she has had good report plus I think she would look at all opitions/ sorry if this doesnt make sense and would be grateful for any input.

Gatmom thank you I will look at that website.