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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that you should not moan if you are not entitled to a £500 pregnancy grant from the government.

59 replies

OracleInaCoracle · 22/09/2010 15:48

my db's sil is pg with her 3rd. she is 19 and living with her husband in a nice village. he works full time, she never has. she has been moaning about how unfair it is that she cant get a £500 maternity grant because her husband earns too much.

now, surely the grants are there to help people on very low incomes? things are pretty shit at the moment and will get tougher, especially for the poor. if you earn too much to receive the grant, then you dont need it, surely? im happy to be explained to why i am wrong here, but they decided to have 3dc's under 4. they are not living in poverty, his job pays well.

and dont get me started on the benefit claimants living in the lap of luxury comments....

OP posts:
salizchap · 22/09/2010 18:58

I think it should be reduced to 200 pounds max, but not completely scrapped. Even second hand costs money. And round here Freecycle is rubbish. Only ever wants, no offers.

YANBU, she IS. Oh how I would love to be in a situation where handouts like that weren´t necessary.

thighsmadeofcheddar · 22/09/2010 19:04

You get five thousand dollars in Australia for having a baby. I'm sure my sister is having her third for another windfall.

TheCrackFox · 22/09/2010 19:19

£5000 you say? Now where did I leave my passport?

pompncircumstance · 22/09/2010 19:26

I dont think anyone should get it either. If someone wants to become a parent they should make sure they have the funds available to fund it and it is possible to buy things very cheaply. I have to and my husband earns a good salary at 38. I have no problem with young mums but they should also realise what it entails. I see some mums with really expensive baby gear.

Ionder where the hell they got it from because I certainly can't afford it! If I can't afford it when half my husbands salary goes to the government why should other people get it? We are all struggling atm arent we?!

EdgarAllInPink · 22/09/2010 19:33

YANBU. I was glad to receive my £500 grant, however, would have managed without if the government had decided we weren't eligible. So she can probably manage. In future the govt won't hand these out for kids after the first anyway.

19 is very young to have that kind of family, so probably not suprising she is annoying. I am sure i'd have found my 19yo self annoying.

dandydorset · 22/09/2010 20:39

like some have said her DH earns to much there has to be a cut of point

but its the same as tax credits,peeps on £40,000 + moan that when these get taken away how will they manage

think the grant should be in the form of a gift card or something similar,and im saying this as somebody who got a grant 4yrs ago,dont remember it being £500 though maybe its gone up since then

oh YANBU

Algebra18MinusPiEquals16 · 22/09/2010 20:42

YANBU, my friend is always moaning that she doesn't get any benefits etc - because her DP earns too much. I just quietly think, you'd have more money if you spent more carefully... Hmm

LacyLeggins · 22/09/2010 22:05

YABU and sound to me bitter and twisted benefit hater!! now get back to work and earn my taxes please, so i can claim my dole to sit around all day! off u fuck..........

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 22/09/2010 22:10

lacy, i hope that was a joke post. hard to tell in text, thats why we have emoticons.

OP posts:
OmniaParatus · 22/09/2010 22:11

YANBU.

My DH was unfairly dismissed and his wages withheld when I was 7 months pg. He was unemployed until the week our DD was born. I was not entitled to the grant as we hadn't claimed tax credits (were entitled but didn't need them so didn't claim), and they could not process the tax credits claim for 4 months, and also because we had been unemployed for less than 6 months.

We had literally NO money, I couldn't even afford a new nightdress for hospital. I am beyond grateful DH is working now and has been with the same employer for over a year so the same situation can't happen again.

Your DB's SIL should be really grateful she is not in a position to really need that grant- I know I am. I can see why she is annoying you Grin.

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 22/09/2010 22:19

if she was entitled to it and/or needed the money then fine. i think its great that people on lower incomes have help available to them, however, they don't need it. she seems to think that she is somehow entitled to the money because she is pregnant and if other people get it, why shouldnt she?

um, because your dh earns more than the people who do receive it.

OP posts:
Eralc · 23/09/2010 00:15

You do get $5000 in Australia (unless you are on a temporary visa like us), but there is no statutory maternity pay, so for working women, that's all they get full stop, unless they have very generous companies (admittedly, you also get it if you aren't working). I think stat. maternity pay is planned to be introduced next year - 18 weeks at min. wage as far as I know. Not sure what will happen to the baby bonus then.

IMoveTheStars · 23/09/2010 00:21

I think this, along with the health in pregnancy grant should be abolished. Stupid waste of money.

Among my friends the £500 grant is well known as 'the pushchair fund' and the health in pregnancy grant is just bonus money.

The health in pregnancy grant is particular redundant as it's given so late on in pregnancy (3rd trimester I believe).

CTF's need booting out too...

Threelittleducks · 23/09/2010 03:04

We were really bloody glad of the cash as it meant we could make life that little bit easier when babba is born (am having a csection, thus dh will now be able to take more than 2 weeks off work to help me recover and look after my 2 year old son too). He works in a good job but not been there long enough to qualify for paternity pay from the company so gets stat pat for 2 weeks and has to take the rest as a holiday time (bang in the new holiday year, which messes up our summer hols a wee bit!)

So very many different circumstances - it's not a always a black and white dole scroungers v. well-off! That £500 is potentially our mental and physical welfare!

lostrequiem · 23/09/2010 05:55

Jareth - what's wrong with CTFs? My son was born just before the Tories got their mitts on them, so he got the first voucher but will get no more. £250 may not sound like a lot, but as that grows over the years along with whatever I can afford to put in it, it could result in a useful amount of money for my son to buy a car/put a deposit on his own place/help with uni fees etc. etc.

And to all of you saying "you don't need that 500, just borrow stuff" - some people, myself included, don't have that option. I live in a rural community where if you're an outsider, you're pretty much shunned. I don't even know one person who has a baby, let alone one who would lend me old stuff Hmm And what about car seats? Buggies? I wouldn't want to buy/get stuff like that second hand, and it's ridiculously expensive to buy them new. Clothes and stuff like that is fine as you can just wash them, but when you put together the cost for a cot/crib, a buggy and a car seat it can be a huge number.

Agree with threelittleducks. This is not a black and white issue, as some eligible people don't need the money, where some really do.

tattycoram · 23/09/2010 06:34

CTFs have been abolished I think, and the HEatlh in Pregnancy grant is going in April

MyHusbandTheArse · 23/09/2010 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
OracleInaCoracle · 23/09/2010 09:15

see, ds's CTF wont be a huge amount when he turns 18, however, itr will be enough for driving lessons and/or a second hand car. or maybe furniture for his first home... it may not be a huge amount, but as the ad says - every little helps.

OP posts:
TotorosOcarina · 23/09/2010 09:16

I thought this was stopped?

and was reduced to £190 now? (if you can get it before the last date its available?)

or is this £500 different to the £190 one? Confused

mamatomany · 23/09/2010 09:20

It is frustrating when you work and you are worse off than people on benefits, that's probably what she is getting at.
The SIL is in a settled relationship with a man with a job, she couldn't really be doing anything more to ensure she has a good start for her child and yet somebody who hasn't got all their ducks in a row will be rewarded with a shiny new pink pram (seems to be what most spend it on around here), all bugaboo and no knickers should be the new phrase.

mamatomany · 23/09/2010 09:23

lostrequiem, so what you are saying is that you cannot afford a baby without a government hand out and you know nobody at all who is supporting you.
Why are you then having a baby, seriously without that grant what would you do/have done ?

EricNorthmansmistress · 23/09/2010 09:29

You can't get it for subsequent DCs now anyway. I'm a bit annoyed about that because we would be entitled and missed out on it with DS but I'm not going to bitch about it.

MoonUnitAlpha · 23/09/2010 09:30

Totoros - they're two different things. The £190 Health in Pregnancy grant was available to all pregnant women and is being scrapped. The £500 SureStart Maternity Grant is available to pregnant women/new mothers on certain benefits or very low incomes.

TotorosOcarina · 23/09/2010 09:44

Oh right, we are on icome suppor so should we definatly be able to get the £500 grant? Its not our first child though - does that make a difference?

I thought they had all been scapped!

mamatomany · 23/09/2010 09:45

No it's still available Toto