to be fed up

[pompncircumstance]

We put our little girl of 10 months into nursery last month for 2 afternoons a week (8 hours i total) so I could have a few hours to myself.

We have just received a bill for £500 and my husband was really annoyed. I knew he would be before he got home and saw it.
Basically we have to pay last month and the month upcoming all at once and it came as a bit of a shock so I have just canceled her place without my husband knowing because he seemed upset about it and said we couldn't afford it.

I am fed up because I was really enjoying having those couple of hours to myself.I have also been taking driving lessons. My husband does not come home from work until 8.30pm - 9.30pm so I am with my LO all day, every day, even at weekends. I spend all day by myself with LO as I don't know anyone around here and I would really have liked to have joined an orchestra or choir but I can't as OH would not be home on time in the evening.
I don't feel I have any quality of life any more and I'm not sure what to do about it other than come on here and rant!

Hi, it's a great idea to learn to drive I think. It will make a huge difference.

Have you made any new friends since you had your baby? Do you take her to any playgroup type things that you could get to know some other people? That might help too and then you will feel less isolated. Also you might be able to get into an arrangement where you look after someones baby for an afternoon and then they look after yours. I do this with one of my friend with our three year olds.

It must be hard looking after a baby on your own seven days a week I live an another continent from all of my family and it is hard to be with the children all day every day with the children.

Thanks Savoy, where do you live?
Yes, I might try and see if there are any groups out there but it would also be nice to have just an hour or two of unbabyrelated time!

I am learning to drive way too late and finding it quite difficult (I'm 30) I lived abroad for quite a few years before I met my Husband and just never got around to it as I kept moving.

x

I live in Melbourne. I failed my test twice, but I can't imagine being unable to drive now. Stick at it. Could you not make the most of the time you have when your baby is asleep and do things for yourself then. No putting away the washing and things.

yes, can you afford it or not? If you can then I would fight for it. Also does your DH pull his weight at the weekend? You could have some time to yourself then.

My local surestart centre runs a free (!) creche for children of 8 months+ for two hours on a friday afternoon. I'm not sure whether this is standard across the country but it's worth looking into.

I would also suggest linking up with other mums at playgroups etc. My dd is 7 months old and I'm just coming to realise that she'd rather be playing with other children than stuck at home with boring old me all day long. If you can make some friends (hard I know) it will not only ease the pressure on you and make the days pass quicker, but you might be able to mind each other's babies from time to time.

Another thing to do might be to look at whether students from a local childcare course or similar are available for babysitting once or twice a week. It'd be cheaper than a nursery.

Another thing to do would be to look for a choir or other group that meets at a weekend. Surely your husband can look after the baby then. Remember you are working full time during the week too- just not at an office. At weekends the responsbility for childcare is 100% shared.

I do also agree that the key thing is whether you really can afford it or not. If you can, then it's fair that you get the free time.

Looking after a baby is bloody hard work!

What about a childminder for a couple of hours?

You should def drive - will open up loads more for you and make life so much easier with a child. Nursery great for you and for little one, enabling the time you spend together to be better quality if you had time to yourself and relaxation. Could you maybe take her to a creche in a gym/spa, then you can get some time but also leave her to enjoy playtime for a bit? If not, not all nurseries charge two months up front, maybe find another which doesn't.

I can sympathise, OP.

I've felt isolated since DS was born, I can't drive either. DS just started pre-school so I'm getting three hours a day to myself now. I'm learning to drive and doing boxercise once a week. The rest of the time will be spent consuming tea and cakes :)

It won't be this way forever. I've had some very dark days when I've felt like smashing my head into the wall because of having no-one to talk to for twelve hours at a time. It will get better.

Thanks all. TBH no OH does not help alot around the house as he is so consumed by his work even at the weekend but this is an issue in itself!
He is on a fairly good wage as he is a comp programmer but I just dont want this to be an issue every month so I guess that is why I canceled her place in a hurry yesterday.

Felt pretty embarrassed having to email the nursery today to tell them. I do want to try and find some mum and toddler groups though. Just can't bear the thought of another 2-3 years like this!
I might have a look into that exploding bombs (the student thing)

Hugs to the rest of you who feel like me ((hugs)) and thanks for replies.