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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be jealous of pregnant friends even though I don't want any more children

22 replies

rantyknickers · 22/09/2010 00:00

Well maybe I do. DH definitely doesn't want any more (We have 2) and I thought I did but am coming round to the idea that I am happy with my lot and it's good to get life back to normal.

But friends keep getting pregnant and I just feel very jealous - the bump, the tiny baby, the choosing of the name all of it.

Please tell me you always feel like this - DH keeps reminding me that they all grow up so I can't keep having them just for the newborn bit.

And I think my memory of the newborn bit is rose tinted to say the least.

OP posts:

MarineIguana · 22/09/2010 00:06

My second baby is 6 months old, DP definitely doesn't want another and I was OK with stopping at 2, I'm knackered of course, and on top of that this last pregnancy was farking awful - sickness, exhaustion, pelvis went to pot, it was agony.

And guess what - I see pg women and I start going all soppy and thinking how I would love to be pregnant again and have another lovely newborn .

A for us both...

expatinscotland · 22/09/2010 00:08

We have three and are definitely done! DH had the snip.

Not a bit jealous when I see someone pregnant. I think, 'Better her than me.'

amistillsexy · 22/09/2010 00:08

ALWAYS feel like this. Jealous as hell of two friends I was with on Sunday-both pg and me (with 3 lovely DSs at home) not one little bit pg. I could have cried 9in fact, I did, a bit, on my way home ).

LacyLeggins · 22/09/2010 00:08

im exactly the same! when preg with dc3 i couldnt wait for it to be over, then once he was born i really yearned to be preg again!

nagoo · 22/09/2010 00:08

It's not really jealousy is it? It's just all nice and exciting... who doesn't want a bit of that!?

Original poster

rantyknickers · 22/09/2010 00:11

You see you see, you all have 3 and I only have 2.

Waaaahhhhh

OP posts:

DandyLioness · 22/09/2010 00:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrishaTriplets · 22/09/2010 00:19

After having my two sets of triplets either side of DD I feel sorry for women and friends who are pregnant.

Original poster

rantyknickers · 22/09/2010 08:19

Blimey trisha. Be careful what you wish for

OP posts:

puddlepuss · 22/09/2010 08:23

I'm with you ranty. I have 2 chiildren but it was so hard getting them that I feel like I'm tuned to want to be pregnant. I don't want a 3rd child but I do want to be knocked up again and have the baby bit. It makes no sense, I know, but when has anything to do with hormones been logical??

SirBoobAlot · 22/09/2010 08:23

If I fell pregnant now it would be an utter nightmare.

But whenever I see pregnant women, see tiny babies in tiny clothes... It makes me very broody

So YABU, but you're not the only one!

puddlepuss · 22/09/2010 08:24

Dandylioness. I could have written your post. I wish I had becaause it makes more sense than mine

Saggyoldclothcatpuss · 22/09/2010 08:25

I am with you on this one! I desperately want another, and so do the kids, but DP doesn't! He says dcs are 11 and 14 and why would we do that again! I get so sad that I cry a lot!

zachsmama · 22/09/2010 08:47

Maybe YAB a bit U, but then I'm the same. We have one DS and have made the decision to stick to one.
I don't want another child but I'd like to give birth and experience what it could be like (DS birth was traumatic in several ways) and hold my tiny baby before he was 12 days old.

I feel quite jealous of pg friends, especially those who already have children younger than my ds but are now pg again.

Firawla · 22/09/2010 09:07

OP are you sure you are okay with having only two, like if you feel this way maybe really you want more so you could talk to your dh about it?
I actually feel like this about pregnant people too it makes me desperate to have more, but even though I am planning to have more and not even after that long (my youngest one is 9 months want to leave it til he is over 1 i think), but when I'm around pregnant women or newborns i just feel like having more NOW. If i did want more but dh did not, and I still felt like that a bit I think it would be really hard, so thats why im thinking you should talk to your dh if you still kind of want more

phlebas · 22/09/2010 09:11

I'd love a dc4 but I think another pregnancy/tiny baby would kill me IKWYM though, it is very strange to think I'll never be doing the whole new baby thing again.

MrsGokWan · 22/09/2010 09:17

Can I join the club. I have 3 lovely DC and with the 3rd off to nursery now I am getting a little time to myself but I am so broody it is silly. When I see mums at school or in the street or friends who are pregnant or have new babies it really tears at me.

I thought I was pregnant recently because of a missed period but I tested at 1 week and 2 weeks and nothing. My DH and I were so sad (he is just as bad as me.) We were discussing names and all sorts.

It's not helped by the fact that I have been advised my the medical profession not to have anymore because of difficulties in all 3 of my pregnancies that are still ongoing now.

Riddo · 22/09/2010 09:17

I have two, had difficult pregnancy and birth with ds, post natal depression both times and dh has had the snip and I'm no spring chicken but I'm still have a little pang of regret whenever someone gets pregnant.

Chrysanthemum5 · 22/09/2010 09:19

For many reasons, including my age and a health condition which DH has been diagnosed with, we are stopping at 2. And generally I am fine with that. But then I do really miss being pregnant. Although two of my friends have recently had babies, and seeing them with newborns, and remembering how hard it is has put me off the idea again!

Pandsbear · 22/09/2010 11:13

See it's very common (I'm jealous too!). I agree with the excitment of the 'idea' of being pregnant...but I know the reality of new baby (or babies as mine were twins) has been white-washed with sparkly stars and scents of roses as time goes by...

bamboostalks · 22/09/2010 11:15

Trisha have you really got 2 sets of triplets? Am amazed at that.

Chil1234 · 22/09/2010 11:24

Once you've got to a point where, for whatever reason, you're not going to have more children it means you've definitely left an important phase of your life as a woman behind. Natural to feel a pang of nostalgia when reminded.

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