To think mil should not speak to my brother in this way

[deliakate]

Had a big party here for dh's birthday this weekend, and there was lots of booze, food etc. Guests all brought bottles too. Some time into the party, my brother headed to the fridge to take out a bottle of white he had brought with him and put in there to chill. Mil sees him doing this and says "[brother's name], I'm not sure you should be going in there and getting that bottle out".

Bro was very shocked, and as he's quite easy going, he let her take it and put it back in and found himself another drink elsewhere. But I am very annoyed with her.

Background is that she thinks my brother drinks too much - which he sometimes does, but he never becomes lairy. And we had a party here last year where there were very nice bottles of wine (mil and dh are wine snobs) which were given as presents, not put away, and ended up getting opened by guests and not savoured and ponced over as they like to do with expensive bottles.

So, AIBU to think she should not be policing what goes on in my house, and going to speak to members of my family about what she thinks isn't right....? She makes herself VERY at home here, but I think this is going too far?

It's wierd that it's your mil talking to your brother that way
would have been less wierd if he was her son
the sort of thing a mum can say to her grownup child

This is one for your MIL and brother, surely? She's allowed an opinion and,if he had objected, he'd have said so at the time. Let people fight their own battles. BTW You sound like you don't like your 'wine snob' MIL much.... so you're probably looking at anything she does/says through less-than-rosy specs.

YANBU - how rude! Your house, your fridge, your rules

I'm more suprised he let her, although probably did so out of social awkwardness.

Yanbu. She may have thought she was being helpful, bit bossy of her though.

I do like her, but I don't like how she is so dismissive of my family. She married beneath her class, and I think was very much hoping her son would redress the balance and marry above his, but he didn't!

do you think she though that your DB hadn't been given permission to get the bottle? like she thought it was your bottle and he was being rude?