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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to put my 3 year old back in pullups at night, even though I know he can be dry?

15 replies

SloanyPony · 21/09/2010 08:05

DS recently turned 3. He has been trained (daytime) since he was 2 (give or take a couple of weeks) so about a year. Had heard snippets like that you "shouldn't" try and actively encourage a boy to be dry at night till his 3rd birthday or after, had also heard that if you think there is any way a child can be dry at night you should go for it. So having both views in the back of my mind I decided to go without night time pull-ups from the day of his 3rd birthday as they seemed to be unused probably 10-12 nights out of 14.

Built him up to it, he was very keen, the big day came, and he went without. He did 10 consecutive nights without any accidents, and I thought "I should have done this ages ago". Affirmed that he was well and truly ready.

Past 3 nights, consecutively, he has wet the bed. Nothing different in terms of family life, diet, or fluid intake. Have been lifting him at half 10pm from day one of this so he has a wee as we are going to bed so nothing "more" I can do in terms of helping him be dry at night. That 9 hours from when we go to bed till half 7 in the morning when he normally gets up (or thereabouts) really has to be up to him (though I am happy to help him to the potty if he asks - but it has to be his initiation or he's not trained and may as well be in a pullup as far as I'm concerned)

I can't deal with the washing at the moment of nightly wettings - waterproof, undersheet, and sometimes duvet and duvet cover as well - its an extra load every day.

I know he can do it because he did for 10 nights in a row but I just dont want to put pressure on him if for some reason he's not ready after all. He's not yet able to wake up and put himself on the potty (he has a potty and a nightlight) so we were having to respond to his sleepy cries and put him on the potty anyway. The cries would sometimes wake the baby and there have been a couple of mornings we have all been awake since 5:45 due to this night training thing when usually both him and baby sleep till half 7 or later.

AIBU? I seem to have created a disrupted household and atmosphere from a "desire" to have him dry at night but if I analyse it, I couldn't care less at this point whether he is dry at night or not, really. Its only because I "feel" I should because I "felt" he was ready.

Am I being lazy, over-ambitious, or something else entirely? Or just somewhere in between?

OP posts:
chocoholic · 21/09/2010 08:09

Sounds like you are making life hard for yourself with all that getting up in the night!
I'd go back to pull ups for a while, if only to get some sleep Grin

HecateQueenOfWitches · 21/09/2010 08:10

perhaps put him in pullups, call them pants and continue to take him out of bed for a wee at 10pm and do all you are doing now? Get a potty for his bedroom for him to use in the night?

Original poster
SloanyPony · 21/09/2010 08:18

Yes Hecate I think I might continue the lifting at night thing - but you're right, pullups. I dont want him to get a complex and label himself as a bedwetter when really he's just a young guy. I know 3 year olds who aren't even day trained after all so he's not late for it...

Yes choccie - I feel I am! (Though DH did the past 2 nights as I didn't hear Wink funny that, must get my ears drained...)

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 21/09/2010 08:27

I was exaclty the same with DS - he seemed to have dry pants in the morning for about 3 weeks in a row, coincided with training during the day so I thought we'd go pantless at night. He was fne some of the time, other times he wet the bed. Because of the waterproof sheet it went all over the bed, covered him, his pillow etc. It really upset him and he dreamt he'd done it again even when he hadn't and woke upset. i didn't actually care if he's dry at this age but don't like him getting upset and me having to do all the washing! SO he is back in pull ups

Gipfeli · 21/09/2010 08:46

DD was a bit like this. Periods of dry nights which prompted us to leave the nappies off and then a run of a few nights with wet sheets after which we'd go back to the pullups. I think this is fine. Why disturb everyone's sleep?

We "sold" it to DD by telling her that she would be more comfortable with the pullups on and wouldn't have to be disturbed during the night to change the sheets (which she used to find quite unpleasant). We also reminded her that she was free to call us at any time that she woke up and felt she needed a wee.

We alternated between these periods with and without nappies for about 9 months or so before she got to be reliably dry at night this summer, aged 4.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 21/09/2010 08:59

back into pull ups

night lifting doesn't help with becoming dry, although it does make the parents life easier

night time wetting isn't considered an issue til the child reaches age 7

in the meantime you can increase fluid intake during the day to stretch the bladder and increase holding capacity, avoid red/brown drinks (ribena/cola/tea) and do wee/teeth/wee at bedtime (double-voiding)

the body needs to produce a hormone to reduce urine output at night and this comes with a maturing body, out of the child's control

HTH

StealthPolarBear · 21/09/2010 09:01

BALD, how come some children go through long periods of being dry and then go back to regular wetting? DS was dry for two weeks by the time it occured to me to start taking note - so he'd probably been dry for the previous week or two as well.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 21/09/2010 09:02

it's usually a fluke

sorry to be a doom-merchant !

StealthPolarBear · 21/09/2010 09:04

No that's fine :)
I just genuinely don't get it, there was no pressure on our part, like I said it coincided with trying to do days so I was concentrating on that. ONe or two dry nights I could understand, but when he had a huge run of consistently dry nights for no apparent reason I assumed that the hormone or whatever must have kicked in.

2blessed2bstressed · 21/09/2010 12:24

I'd go with the majority and go back to pull-ups, call them pants, and carry on as you were. He'll get there!

anonymousbird · 21/09/2010 12:28

MY DS, and lots of boys I know (don't want to generalise, but talking about 4 or 5 of our close friends) did not go fully dry at night until 4.5 - 5 years old...

Yours may do it sooner, but don't stress yourself out about it, go back to pull ups.

And, as you know, it's not a "training" thing, it is biological and most boys don't get the biological link up until at least 4.5.... if he gets it earlier, fantastic, but there is a reasonable chance he won't.

muddleduck · 21/09/2010 12:30

I waited until my boys were able to take themselves to the toilet if they need to go in the night.

we took ds2 out of nappies 3 weeks ago. He's nearly 3.5.

fedupwithdeployment · 21/09/2010 12:38

DS2 started out brilliantly a lot earlier than DS1, and at about 2.5 we had him nappy free at night. For a few weeks he was perfect, and then we had consistent relapse. I put him back into nappies for a few months, and tried again when he was about 3. All ok now.

FWIW, DS1 was more like 3.5 when we started and had the odd accident until he was just 4.

mousymouse · 21/09/2010 12:42

ds 3.9 is back in pull ups because he clearly is not ready. daytime no probs but he just doesnt wake up during the night. after 2 weeks of nearly daily washing his bedding Ive had enough.

zapostrophe · 21/09/2010 12:47

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