To think being racist and zenophobic is worse than swearing

[ILoveDonaldDraper]

My MIL reads the daily mail and believes everything in it. She regularly makes comments which I find offensive and dangerously BNP-esque. However, she finds swearing totally unacceptable. If I let so much as a "bugger" or "crap" slip then she makes a horrified and disapproving sucking noise. I am
getting totally sick of this. I am tempted to tell her that I find her views about asylum
seekers more offensive than she can possibly
find my language. AIBU?

lool! silly old codger. If she is offencive put it down to her generation. I must admit a lot of the "storeys" in the papers get me going too, but i don't blame anyone except the government e.g £24million is payed every year in child benefit, for children who do not live in this country. Makes me crazy, but its no ones fault but the stupid government.

Oh this really winds me up. It's ok to go around offending my sensibilities with your racist homophobic outdated old bollocks but I'm not allowed to use the odd swear word. It is a very common thing amongst some older people tho that doesn't make it any less annoying.

silly bastards

YANBU

YANBU.

She should hear my language when she's not there if she thinks "crap" is bad. She thinks my dh is golden boy as he manages not to swear in front of her. In her absence he can regularly be heard calling people " total fucking cunts" and variations on that theme. We have agreed to try never to swear on front of dc1. Would rather DC swore than thought we shouldn't let ANY asylum seekers into uk in ANY circumstances though TBH.

Yes. I think a little swearing now and then is inevitable. Being an ignorant arse isn't. Besides a good sweary outburst now and then is good for the soul.

YANBU, swearing never hurt anyone. The same can't be said for racism.

YANBU. I swear for England and have a vast repetoire of sweary rude words in different languages too. I agree with zerozero, being an ingnorant arse isn't inevitable.

curlymama - good point. That said, racism is but one example of prejudice...something to which we are all prone now and then.

Swearing shows ignorance as well, to my mind...and a depressing lack of articulation...plus a certain sharpness of character.

Swearing shows a "certain sharpness of character"?

I agree, racism and xenophobia are totally reprehensible. Swearing doesn't bother me at all (although I prefer it if people don't swear in front of DD).

RamblingRosa - okay, lack of manners/tact/diplomacy/imagination.

As a child, I remember the older boys on the school bus for whom every other word was a swear-word...and who left at 16 sans qualifications. I doubt they've achieved much in life.

I'm not saying there's a causal relationship here - that swearing was the reason for their academic failings...but it wouldn't have helped.

Few would seek to employ someone that swears all the time.

But most people are able to distinguish between situations where it's acceptable to swear (amongst friends who also like to swear) and those where it's not (at work).

As a teenager I swore like a trooper and I still managed to get a 1st class degree, an MA and a good job .

RamblingRosa - well done.

YANBU

I think it depends - blasphemy, for me, is the same as any racism or xenophobia. However, I have no problems with swearing ....

RamblingRosa - I too swore like a trooper and still do. I am highly qualified, in a well paid job and with a genius level IQ. To quote Stephen Fry ""Swearing is a really important part of one's life and it would be impossible to imagine going through life without swearing and without enoying swearing....there used to be mad, silly, prissy people who would say swearing is a sign of a poor vocabulary as such; utter nonsense! The people I know who swear the most tend to have the widest vocabularies!"

I have however broken off friendships and told off my parents for being racist, xenophobic or homophobic.

YANBU.

Stangirl - Stephen Fry's opinion is, after all, only an opinion. Yes, there are certainly lots of very clever people who swear and who do so in funny and imaginative ways.

There are also plenty of pondlife who do so. Like the woman at the newsagents last weekend who called her 3-4yr old daughter a "f*ckin' deaf cow" for opening a chocolate bar before they had left the shop.

YANBU I'd would be much more upset if my DD said something racist or homophobic than if she yelled "oh fuck!" coz she stubbed her toe or something.

My own gran has been known to be blatantly racist at times and tbh I've given up arguing the toss with her over it because she will just not listen. She's a lovely granny/great granny in every other respect so I find it easier to just ignore it all.

Barmy Army- calling your child names is inexcusable doubt anyone would disagree it's out of order, but it's totally different to a "bugger" when you realise that you didn't get anything out the freezer for dinner.

prozacfairy - of course it's different. It's all about context and company - we can get away with swearing in adult and more robust company than in front of children.

Barmyarmy - the most elitist professions, e.g. medicine and law, tend to be the most sweary!!! Believe me, there is no link between educational or professional attainment and a foul mouth. I have, for instance, worked with many leading QCs, one of whom routinely responds to problems with "pissbuggerbumfuckshit" . My siblings who are both doctors report the same from respected senior consultants. In my experience those who disapprove of bad language are in the minority, and are often rather unpopular, as they make their colleagues feel that they have to "watch their tongue". There is something tedious and smug about people who never swear in my view. They are just words, after all. The notion that if you swear you are ill educated or will amount to nothing is very outdated. I don't want to be rude - but I think you are showing your age with your posts - times have changed.