to be fuming at my mother?

[rpickett]

My great uncle passed away on sunday we wasn't close as I haven't seen him in years but I would like to attend the funeral to pay my last respects.
The funeral is quite a drive away and as I can't drive I asked my mother if she plans on going (she lives a 5 minute walk away) and if she is can I go with her, to which she said "no I'm not taking anyone with me, I don't want you (or your sister) blubbing as I'm not that sort of person, and I don't want you to start any shit with any of MY family"

Now I am 8 months pregnant so I may get a little upset but I had no intentions of sitting with her crying my eyes out, and as for me starting shit, she doesn't get on with the majority of the family and is definatly the black sheep but I get on ok with most of them and certainly had no plans on ruining a funeral with any "shit", I calmly explained the above to my mother and was basically told she can't stop me from going but she will not be taking me.

I have no other family close that I could ask and cannot afford the £50 in travel it would cost in train fares and taxis to the crematorium AIBU?

Your mum has Isshooooossss, seemingly quite a few.
Just don't go and do something yourself to remember him by.
Its quite clear she doesn't want you going, and TBH that would upset me enough to not go, like she was ashamed of me in someway?!

Leave her to it and don't mention it.

I am sorry for your loss.

YANBU, but (and I'm really sorry if this sounds harsh) if you weren't very close to your great uncle, do you really want to put yourself through a day with your mother if she's going to behave like that?

Could you go to your local church (or place of worship) and say a quiet little prayer for your great uncle? That way your mum can't spoil the day for you and you get to say goodbye all the same.

So sorry for your loss. x

Has anything like what your mother is suggesting happened before?
if not then your mother is a harsh cruel person

Thats the thing Anxiousland I have never caused any trouble in the past that I can think of.
There is no reason for her to assume I will cause "shit" or that I will be blubbering the entire way through the service.
I didn't plan on sitting with her at the service or wake if I wasn't wanted but as she is driving all the way there on her own with 3 spare seats in the car I thought that it made sense to take me and I can help with fuel.
However I was TOLD to send a card to my great aunt by my mother, so I'm not allowed to go to the funeral and give my condolences but I must send a card?!
I'm just a little upset that I cannot be with my family (not just my mother but all my family come together at funerals/birthdays etc) at this time and give my support and goodbyes.