to seriously consider getting my house 'blessed'

[Ozziesmom]

Urgh HELP!

My 3 yr old DS has had an 'imaginary friend'- 'Anna' since he began to talk. We don't encourage it nor ignore it but it is becoming an increasing problem. he is genuinely scared of her (having read up on imaginary friends it doesn't sound like she is much of a friend) he doesn't talk to her, just about her. She apparently tickles him in the night and he can feel her breathing.

It is slightly spooky because we found out that the person who lived and died in our previous house (where this began) was call 'Anne'- however- we have since moved and she has seemingly come with us.

Over the last 6 weeks or so he will not let me out of his sight, he refuses to go to the toilet on his own and has to come with me when I go, I can't leave the room without him becoming anxious and having to come with me (even at the expense of watching Peppa Pig- serious stuff) He says he is worried that Anna will come.

He has now began waking 5+ times a night calling me and wanting me with him because he is scared. We are both utterly exhausted.

I have tried moving his room around/ putting a 'robot' to stand guard by his door, teddy bears, 'asking' 'Anna' to leave. I have tried being firm and tried being reassuring/ comforting.

My SIL suggested a blessing and I am seriously considering it. We do not practice any religion but I need to try something else as it is becoming so difficult.

As I said she does not fit into any of the descriptions of imaginary friends (she is scary and not a companion to him of any sort)- could it be more sinister or am I so exhausted my own imagination has gone gaga?

personally i don#t be;ieve in ghost/spirit thingys, BUT getting the act of having the house blessed may clear your head and be some sort of symbolic gesture to let your ds let go of things?

fwiw, it is still common practice to have your house blessed by the RC priest in my parish.

Yes! I would, you seem to have handled it well. I'd be bloody terrified

It's possible the imaginary friend and the anxiety about her are totally separate, some children do get anxious about stuff and don't want to be left on their own.

Is there anything that's happened recently that could have stressed him out?

As to the blessing, if it will make you feel better, why not? I'm sure the person doing it will be only too happy to help you.

What does your DH think about your lads 'friend'? My DD had one called 'girl', and I think I would have been freaked out if I felt she was sinister in any way.

Is it a Christian blessing you would seek? If so, boththe Roman Catholic church and the Church of England have exorcists. If your parish priest does not carry out exorcisms himself, then he will be able to find you an alternate from elsewhere in the diocese.

I'd be moving out pronto if my DD was coming out with this. Sorry, that's not very helpful, but I've lived in a couple of freaky places and I know how terrifying it is to have something happen that you can't explain.

Ozzies - have you experienced anything?

I am a believer, and have always been advised to just ask the spirit to move along, explain it is scaring you/your DS and it is not welcome.

(You don't need to say this out loud btw.)

IMO, too much coincidence. I wonder what Anna wants. Does yr DS have any idea what 'Anna' wants, or why she wants to play with him?

I lived in a house with a presence about 16 yrs ago. It scared the shit out of me. Always felt like I was being stared at, then strange things started happening etc etc gives me goosebumps just thinking about it now. It is truly terrifying when you are in that situation. As soon as I wasn't in that situation anymore, I realised I probably sounded crackers at the time (not that you do at all btw).

I would enquire about getting the house blessed, yes, and try to find out as much as you can about what this spirit wants/isn't happy about.

Although it sounds frightening, there really is no such thing as ghosts.....your child has picked up that you react to his anxiety about being on his own.....you need to work on reassurance when you are not there and develop his confidence.

Scurry - how do you know there is no such thing as ghosts? Please could you provide me with the evidence that will prove your statement?

I'm sure that everyone will think I'm a loon but...

Both my brother and I saw something when we both still lived at home. The actual sighting was the culmination of lots of weird goings-on. My mum called in some people from a spiritualist church and it stopped immediately. They told us what the spirit was and what he wanted and it made sense. I believe them because another lady we know called on them to exorcise her house and they told her there was nothing there!

I was going to say this before you were debating whether ghosts exist or not, so I'm not saying what can be posted or anything.

But it doesn't really matter whether ghosts exist or not, the fact that a 3 year old has an imaginary friend they're talking to, and instead of being friendly and playing with them, they're doing things the lads scared of and he's not happy with the friend.

Like I said, if this was my DDs 'friend' I would be feeling very uneasy about something she couldn't get away from, but which was upsetting her.

Does anyone know whether imaginary friends are usually friendly, or can they be a bit shitty sometimes?

at your DN beertricks, not a nice thing to hear from your DC.

Callisto, don't really need to get into any debate about ghosts but come on now.

I give them the same credibility as Santa, the Tooth fairy and God.

No point indulging children with imaginary friends (even if the adults believe (hmm) ). Best work on decreasing his anxiety.

Call your local Vicar and talk it through, he or she should be willing to visit.

I've been in houses where I have prayed with others and there has been a peace afterwards. The Vicar should be able to talk it through calmly with your ds and help him too without increasing his fear.

Its a normal part of a Vicar's job.

Scurry - if you'd experienced what I've experienced you may not be quite so glib with your 'no such things as ghosts'. But you're right, not the place to debate it.

(Though I also disagree about 'indulging' children with imaginary friends).

"Does anyone know whether imaginary friends are usually friendly, or can they be a bit shitty sometimes?"

Have you seen Drop Dead Fred?

I think having the house blessed is a good idea whether you believe in ghosts or not, it won't cause any harm if it is just a small boys imagination.

Fwiw I had an imaginary friend when I was a child and I remember telling my mum she was naughty. I wasn't scared of her though so I can see why it worries you.

Hi I would definately persue a blessing and think you are most definately not being unreasonable.
#My mother is a teacher and used to work with a teching assistant who was a vicer's wife.
The vicar's wife told her that one night a possessed teenager and her mother arrived at the vicarage. The local exorcist (for the diocese?), was phoned and he stated that the vicar must not be alone with the teen until he arrived. As the evil entity can be very powerful/dangerous and therefore people should not be alone when dealing with them. The vicar's wife had to stay until he arrived and said it was terrifying.
When the exorcist arrived she left the room and the exorcism was a success.

Your circumstances are different but since hearing this story I have a very open mind. There will always be skeptics but no harm can come from seeking help and I would be asking the church for help. Sorry if my post has made you feel worse and good luck.

I believe in the spirit world, but unfortunately my ghost hunter sister is at work tonight. But I seem to remember she told the old man in my nephews bedroom that she understood it was his house and he was welcome to stay, but he must stop waking my nephew up. My other sister had no problems getting her son to sleep after that.

However my sister said that this old man had no malice and he didn't scare my nephew.

Generally speaking ghosts mean us no harm, which makes me think perhaps 'Anna' is not a ghost, but an imaginary friend, or something your ds uses to explain feelig scared/lonely/unhappy?

YANBU. I am a non-believer in religion, and was a non-believer in ghosts, until I spent an evening in a kitchen at a party with 2 parish priests and a mother who had ignored her children's tales of a presence in her house, right up to the point where it (literally) came knocking on her bedroom door.

Very best of luck

This may well be linked more to his anxiety about the recent house move?

I have seen drop dead fred, what a twat

You could try some role playing with your DS?

Imagining Anna getting smaller and smaller, less colourful, until she's really small (with a stupid squeaky voice) then telling her that he doesn't want to play with her and she's not to come round any more.

Perhaps he could shut the door on her, or crumple her up like a bit of paper and chuck her in the bin?

Then give him a nice colourful, loud, bright image he can concentrate on if she's bothering him again.

If it's not anything spiritual and just in his head, it might give him a bit of control over it?

Thanks everyone

just want to reiterate DS doesn't talk to her, he just tells me she is the reason why he doesn't want to be on his own. I have never been anxious about it around him at all, (although finding out she shared a name with the person who had died in my house did scare me a bit but I never talked about it in front of him) When we moved I thought it would all calm down, we are living in a brand new house.

scurryfunge- it is really hard to find a balance between reassuring him, because it is very real to him, and actually feeling like I am encouraging it which I absolutely do not want to do.

DH is a bit flumoxed too, he has seen DS completley freak out at something in the room which we cannot see. DH has had some spooky experiences of his own in the past-but thats another thread.

I have never seen anything 'spooky' thank goodness, (apparently I had an imaginary friend 'Humphrey' when I was little, but I don't remember him and I wasn't scared of him)

Talking about it tonight it has given me the heebie jeebies (not a nice thought that DS is always feeling this spooked TBH).

I had a conversation with him about her about 2 months ago and he told me that Anna had 'lost her mummy' 'her mummy lives a long way away in the circus' and that she was going to 'kill him' he said we must 'help her find her mummy.' (This sounds way spookier than it was)

I am not sure where I would start with the religious bit, perhaps have a chat with the C of E vicar who married us, I agree I don't really want DS involved with this bit if we do it I think it would scare him more.

BTW I love the advice Callisto- when I move out shall I leave DS here lol?