To feel my sister is excluding my DC's

[Anenome]

I have 2 sisters..we all have girls...mine are 2 and 6, sister 1 has twins of 7 and sister 2 has girls of 9 and 8.

Every year we have always ivited one another kids to Birthday parties....at various locations...playcentre's, home, art cafe's and the like...aswell as having some or all of the child's class invited.

Last year my sister 2 decided that she was having swimming party for her eldest and just never invited my kids or my sister 1's kids. We at the time thought it odd...why not just tell us if you want a change in tradition....but our kids were asking about the birthday party and when it would be....we had to say there wasn't one.

Sister 2 knew were hurt/confused as my Mum asked her about it...so just now she called me to talk about her two girls parties this year...she blabbed on about how the younger girl only wants a sleepover with her best friend (she's shy) so I thought ok...fair enough...then she said the elder girl wants a bowling party with classmates and they were expensive...so she's not inviting cousins!

We were always close...AIBU to be hurt? The kids love their cousin...I KNOW she is older at 9...but still...she could have perhaps invited the little cousins to tea or something? So they could give her prsents and sing and all that.....what do you think?

Lol nancydrewwrocked

yes...6 year old's aren't very cool! Expat It seems full-on that Birthday parties matter so much! But if that's how it is...I do know some families who only do a family thing...I suppose it's to avoid the expense and stress of sleepovers & mass trips to the ice rink etc!

yabu

Might be that you are responsible for hurting your sister's feelings at some point?

Anxiousland

Er...no. And that was not the question.

might explain her behaviour

ooh attitude

yabu

[bicuit]

Now ds is older we find he wants a class party, which is not suitable for cousins. We have a separate family tea to celebrate birthdays.

It is just a natural progression-up to about 5/6 you can engineer frienships/parties etc but then they start to have their own preference and that is often to separate family and friends and not to have younger DCs at parties.

Natural progression. Unless you feel obliged to invite elderly aunties whenever you have an evening out with your best friends, I don't see how you can blame the 9yo. She is getting to an age where she wants something similar from a party that you might want from a good evening out: a really good chance to socialise with people on her own wavelength. The only difference is that as a child she gets fewer chances. This doesn't mean she doesn't love her little cousin. Perhaps you are very fond of elderly relatives- without wanting them to tag along when you are out with your best mates. This is not about the dreadful shallowness of 9yos; it's about them becoming more like us.