To think it's not just about how good a driver you are...

[Mishy1234]

It's also about other drivers and how aware they are of you.

DH is a fairly 'good' driver. However, he can be very arrogant and seems to not be as aware of the behaviour of other road users as I think he should.

As an example, on sat we were driving in the city centre where there are 2 lanes, but one suddenly turns into a right hand only turn with no warning until you get right up close to the junction. You ALWAYS get someone pulling out in front of you with little warning when they realise they're not in the correct lane. I always try to be aware of this and give enough room to ensure that if this does happen, I don't get hit side on.

DH refuses to do this (despite having 2 young children in the car) and says it's his right of way etc. On sat someone who was obviously not from the city (driving slowly, peering around etc) nearly took us out and DH waited until the very last minute to break and pull back. It was SO close I'm sad to say I completely lost it and swore at him.

Afterwards I (calmly) apologised and asked him if he had learnt anything from the situation and if he would try to look out for things like this a bit more in the future. He said no!

AIBU to think he's being a d* ?

It sounds like he is aware of other road users but just decided to try and make a point. TBH it's not big or clever and is a bit irresponsible. If someone does hit him then it may not be his fault but he'll have the hassle of getting his car fixed, arguing with the insurance company then having higher premiums because the insurance companies will consider him a higher risk.

YANBU. Road-sense is what you're talking about ... anticipating how others might act, making allowances for others' mistakes, being courteous. A lot of people drive around with blinkers on and that bloody-minded 'I'm in the right' mentality. They're not in many accidents but they see plenty in the rear view mirror :)

YADNBU

sorry but it is tossers like your DH that cause accidents

Dh is a confident and assertive driver but is also courteous; FIL is confident, blames everyone else & aggressive = needs to be back on the tablets

Thanks for the replies. I'm glad someone agrees with me.

I'll be showing this to DH and hopefully he'll improve his driving behaviour in the future.

Slightly off-topic, but I drove in front of such a good driver the other day. S/he let me out in front of her/him at a junction, drove behind at a distance, and I watched him/her let other drivers out, and keep a great distance from them, too. And kept a steady pace, within the speed-limit, with no mad acceleration at lights, and things. Stopped and let buses out, too.

The courtesy. The thoughtfulness. It had a completely weird effect on me, and I ended up feeling so incredibly warm towards this person (who I will never, ever know).

cat64- sorry, what I meant was that if it wasn't for his arrogance he would be a good driver.

YANBU. A good driver is someone who avoids potential accidents. Your DP sounds like a complete twat.

animula- I totally understand what you mean. It makes such a difference when drivers look out for one another and it's seems to be quite a rare thing nowadays. My Grandfather was a policeman, so I've heard some pretty nasty accounts of car accidents and courtesy on the roads was one of the things he really stressed when I was learning to drive.

Isnt it the actual people that do pull over at the last minute without indication that cause the accidents.

You cant second guess what people are doing.

If they are already commited to a lane then they should stay there, and sort themselves out.

Even if they have to go the wrong way and turn around when safe to do so

sounds like your husband is not a good driver.

Having thought about this a bit more ...

I think my father may be a "good" driver. He certainly won an awful lot of trophies, back in the days when he raced. And I was chuffed to bits when a boy in my class asked me to get his autograph, way back at primary school.

But I say "think" because one of his maxims is that you never call yourself a "good driver".

He's very thoughtful and courteous. That, I think, was one reason I felt so warm towards that other driver; s/he reminded me of my father.

It sounds to me as though you're more like my dad than your dh is!

Sounds like your dh sees himself as having a teaching role for other drivers on the road, bit like my exp.

I wonder if this is a particularly male trait. If another driver behaves in a stupid fashion they have to try to let them know how stupid they have been IYSWIM.

The example that springs to mind is when a driver pulls out in front of you and then is going slower than you. When that happens to me I immediately slow down and drop back. DH and BIL will drive until they are right up behind the car and then brake. I think their idea is that the other driver will suddenly see a car loom up behind them and think "Oh maybe I shouldn't have pulled out just then"

I'm learning to drive now, in a major city. A bit part of my lessons is always about 'defensivce driving'. Sure, you may be a great driver but you have no idea whether the people around you are. So you have to take that into account, and a big part of that is anticipating what other people might do.

Doesn't matter how great a driver you are, if you're right up someone's backside and they do something unexpected, you'll have a crash. Thinking ahead means you won't.

And if the frankly crazy, crazy driving I've seen while learning to drive (what is it about seeing an L plate that brings the worst out in other drivers?!), then I'd say a good driver is the kind of one that pays attention, never takes anything for granted and thinks ahead.

The type of driver your DH is makes me shudder - I dread encountering people like him on the road.

Two words for him: stopping distance.

I just people would use their indicators at least

Oh and not pull out in front of others on a roundabout