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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking no-one is actually surprised by a Surprise Party?

30 replies

ChaosMomsnet · 19/09/2010 20:11

I've only been to 2 and both times the surprisee admitted later to having an inkling.

It's my, ahem, significant birthday soon, and scenarios are going through my head, that if anyone ever wanted to fool me (not that they would), they'd have a difficult job as I'm naturally sceptical.

I mean, who would believe that all their nearest and dearest were unavailable around the time? Confused

So IABU to think it's impossible to throw a Completely Surprising Party?

OP posts:
gomummy · 19/09/2010 20:22

YABU. I threw one last year and the guest of honour had NO idea. She still talks about not knowing how I pulled it off.

(Side note: If asking guest of honour's DH to "take her out for a while," best to specify not a hiking trip. She was not so amused to be greeted by all her friends and family in her "post-hiking" look!) Grin

juneybean · 19/09/2010 20:24

My mam was gutted about hers, she had got excited for the italian meal my dad was taking her to haha

HecateQueenOfWitches · 19/09/2010 20:26

I was.

It was my 30th birthday.

My husband had arranged for us to go out for a meal with another couple.

We went for a drive first, then arrived at the restaurant.

I opened the door and heard cheers. I looked right at them, about 20 of them, and didn't recognise them. (I don't recognise people Grin )

It then dawned on me that it was my friends!

I walked over to them. One of them said "Happy Birthday Hecate" (well, not hecate, my rl name Grin )

I replied....

Blush

"Happy Birthday Bob" (not bob, his rl name Grin )

In my defence I was really really shocked and not thinking Grin

I can honestly say I didn't have a clue.

I walked past all their cars in the car park as well and didn't realise! Not only am I crap with faces, I am crap with cars too. Grin

ChaosMomsnet · 19/09/2010 20:30

I had reckoned it would be the cars that would be a giveaway - but Hecate has proved that theory wrong. Grin

OP posts:
TwistAndShout · 19/09/2010 20:31

Hecate, ROFL at "Happy Birthday Bob"

OP, YABU, though I think some people are easier to surprise than others.

Ipom · 19/09/2010 20:32

I have a horrible feeling my mate is aranging something for my 30th on Saturday.

I have said that I hate celebrating my birthday and just want it to pass by like every other day...but I know what she is like...

ChaosMomsnet · 19/09/2010 20:34

Ooh, Ipom will you come back and let me know?

OP posts:
TotorosOcarina · 19/09/2010 20:34

Hahaha Hecate, I do that EVERY year when people greet me with happy birthday, I always accidently say it back Grin

angelberry · 19/09/2010 20:35

My dad was genuinely surprised, but we hadn't pretended to be unavailable as we knew he'd guess. Instead, we did the party a week before his birthday, in a pub without a function room (they let us book out the whole place)! Genuine shock.

ChaosMomsnet · 19/09/2010 20:46

Now, I can see how it would work if you did it before the big day!

I'm being persuaded. Grin

OP posts:
stupidgreatgrinonmyface · 19/09/2010 20:49

I've organised four surprise parties and the 'recipient' has never had an inkling at all.
The first was for my DH when he was 30 and I organised a party in our own home! I had bought and prepared all the food and hidden it in our spare room ( It was winter and the room was unheated). On the day, i took him for lunch. As we drove out, my sister drove in and got everything set up so it was ready when we got back. He never noticed all the familiar cars parked in our tiny road and the look on his face was a picture. I did a party for my Step Dad for his 65th. My mum and sister took him out and we got them to bring him home again once we were ready, by phoning them to say my mums sister had arrived for a flying visit and my mum had to pretend she'd forgotten. My dear SD cried when he walked in to find all his family and close friends there. My sister and I arranged a surprise for our mum for her 70th. Again, she had no idea at all. In fact, she kept telling us off for not letting her know so that she could have got more dressed up! On tha occasion she was able to meet the youngest members of the family for the first time ( her nephew's three children). More tears. But happy ones.

Bonkerz · 19/09/2010 21:04

on my 30th birthday my mates hired a vip room in a nightclub with champagne and everything, i had no idea because my mates had been very clever and gave me a small cake and balloons at the restaurant where we had a meal and then most of my friends left early and my mate suggested we went to this club for a bit! was a total shock!
went to a family surprise party last night for my aunts 60th birthday and aunt and uncles 40th wedding anniversary.....about 90 people from all over uk gathered in a underground bar of a hotel, my aunt and uncle cried when they came down the stairs and saw everyone, my cousins had been planning it for over 6 months!

Just13moreyearstogo · 19/09/2010 21:09

For my parents' 50th wedding anniversary my brothers and I organised a surprise gathering of the extended family. My mum knew but my dad didn't. He so obviously didn't have a clue that my mum had to force him to go out for lunch with her on the day as he was in a bad mood! He was really touched that we'd made the effort. It's the first 'surprise' party our family's ever done!!

SE13Mummy · 19/09/2010 21:59

My Dad and I organised one for my Mum's 50th - her closest friend was in on it and took her shopping for the day, then back to her place to collect her DH and get dressed up because they were going to drive to my parents' to collect my Dad and take them out for a 50th birthday meal.

Whilst Mum and friend were shopping Dad and I were preparing the house for her party. She was genuinely surprised and completely thrilled. We knew she'd want to be dressed appropriately which is why her friend was involved and created the 'going out for a meal' scenario.

BertieBotts · 19/09/2010 22:04

Hecate that sounds like something I would do! I never recognise cars. I still meet up with the ladies from my NCT group (our boys are 2 now) and the other day we were at X's house, another one of the mums came along and said "DS has just been pointing, excited in the street saying "X's car! X's car!" I was genuinely Confused as I'm not even sure I would recognise it...

SparklyJules · 19/09/2010 22:09

We organised one for MIL. It was hilarious, she threw a massive strop before we left for the restaurant cos she didn't want to go for an Indian so she didn't change her outfit in protest. She sulked for the entire journey to the restaurant and then we practically had to shove her through the door of the place, where she saw the rest of the family, the penny dropped and she burst out laughing!

We also did one for my mum's 60th - she thought she was going to my uncles retirement do. When she walked in and was surprised my dad burst into tears! Poor man had taken to working late every night for a month so he wouldn't let slip at home and had organised the whole thing!

princessProudmel · 19/09/2010 22:11

My mum was totally surprised.

We did it a few weeks after her birthday and she didn't have a CLUE.

VoldemortsNipple · 19/09/2010 22:17

DH told me under no circumstances should I throw him a surprise party for his 40th, then his aunt phoned me from Ireland and told me they were all coming over to surprise him and could I organise a get together. His aunt is like head honcho of the family and nobody says no to her so I sorted out a party. My nerves were shot for about 6 months.

DH said he just wanted to go for a meal. His birthday was on a Wednesday so we went for a meal that night. We had about 20 guests from Ireland who arrived on Friday. I was like a nervous wreck incase he bumped into any of them or the DCs slipped up and said they had been with them during the day when DH was at work.

On the Saturday night he thorght we were going to his niece's 18th party. He had the fright of his life when everybody cheered and all his family was there.

He really didnt have a clue, but every so often he says that he knew. He didnt.

dreamygirl · 19/09/2010 22:21

I'm really pleased to see all these stories of people really being surprised, it's so sweet! Like you Chaos I didn't really believe it would work. Growing up I had a friend whose mum threw him a surprise party for about 3 years running and he had a fair idea the first time, but by the last time it was a complete joke. He went along with it though because it made his mum happy.

It's my 40th in a couple of years, maybe DH will do one for me... actually no, he won't, I'm a complete control freak and he'd be too scared of doing it wrong, poor love!

neolara · 19/09/2010 22:23

My dh organised a surprise party for me. I didn't have any idea at all. Was lovely.

MadLenny · 19/09/2010 22:31

We threw a surprise wedding anniversary party for our parents and they had absolutely NO clue whatsoever. Even after they came into the room and everyone yelled 'surprise' my mum said she still didn't realise what was going on and kept wondering how all these people she knew happened to be at the same restaurant as them! Smile
Dad has since said he'll never trust a word any of us say again as we've obviously all become incredible liars!!!Wink

venusandmars · 19/09/2010 22:39

We had a surprise party for my Mum when she was 60. dsis and I were both 7 months pregnant and we had to pretend we'd spent days shopping for 'baby things' without actually buying anything. It was lovely but my dm's glasses steamed up and she couldn't see who was there.

BUT my best friend is a control freak and another friend had organised a surprise event for her birthday. I am afraid that I told my best friend. I KNEW that she could not cope with the surprise stuff. So I ended up liasing 'secretly' between my best friend and the other friend, so that best friend's party had all the things and people that she really wanted. It all worked out OK. best friend was happy and was thankful that I'd told her so she could have the party she really wanted, other friend thought that SHE had organised the best surprise party in the world. I was exhausted.

toddlerama · 20/09/2010 07:27

I had a surprise party for my 19th. I was a hysterical wreck as I thought my house had been broken into. Took me ages to calm down even when I realised they were my friends and not a gang of burglars...

gtamom · 20/09/2010 07:40

I threw 2 and both were a surprise.
One was a bf, and I took him out to dinner, and everyone arrived at the house, and my babysitter called saying, (of all things, and her own idea, not mine, she was supposed to say she was sick herself) that her dad had a stroke and we had to come home so she could go be with him.
Other one was for my mom, and my step-dad got her all the way to a restaurant out of town then suddenly realized" he forgot his wallet, he got to listen to her bitch all the way home. Grin

gtamom · 20/09/2010 07:49

Ipom I feel bad for you, people really should respect other peoples wishes. It is not their birthday after all!