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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask my extremely generous friend to stop buying stuff for my materialistic DS

13 replies

stoppinattwo · 17/09/2010 20:45

Dear...dear friend who has no chidren of his own, is a complete sweet heart but indulges my DS far too much.....we were in the process of negotiating a pair of PT trainers for xmas £50ish a pair and highly sought after by DS and his buddies....

So my friend takes DS out yesterday after school and for tea and whilst out he buys DS the PT's!!!!!

Soooooooooo when they came home I explained what had gone on before but didnt want to appear ungrateful....DS shhepishly did insist that he hadnt nagged for PT's....friend admitted he had been indulgent....

BUT I was sooooooooooooo pissed off....this has happened before with an Ipod touch xmas present that I had specifically said not to get him and other things....I feel increadibly ungrateful but as I had tried to explain tod my firend today.....you cant keep indulging kids and DS is getting incredibly materialistic and also not appreciative of what he has...I have asked friend Not to do this again please.

Oh and not to mention it really upsets DP as he feels exactly the same way about it as I do.....we dont let our kids take things for granted, will stop writing now as im rambling Sad

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stoppinattwo · 17/09/2010 20:46

in first para by "we" I mean DP, I and DS...we had said he could have a pair for xmas if he wanted as they we expensive

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Meow75 · 17/09/2010 20:48

Seems a reasonable request to make, stoppinattwo.

Not sure how your friend will react when it turns out that you REALLY do want him to stop!!!

colditz · 17/09/2010 20:51

he meant well. It'#s difficult to explain to childless people because they don't get to live the negative long term consequences of overindulging a child - they only get the "WOW! AWESOME!!!!" from the child.

stoppinattwo · 17/09/2010 20:51

Well I did ask him today to stop doing it...birthdyas and xmas a reasonable present is ok....btu he goes ridiculously OTT...

He was understanding but I just know he will do it again Sad......tis like dealing with a big kid...i feel really sad because it is like he is trying to buy DS's attention iykwim....he really doesnt understand DS....it will just make DS more shallow if he thinks everytime my mate takes him out he gets a great gift!!!!

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stoppinattwo · 17/09/2010 20:52

colditz...you get it exactly...he is so kind but doesnt understand it is pure overload....

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scurryfunge · 17/09/2010 20:53

Just explain to him that DS likes him regardless of the gifts he buys and there really is no need to spend a lot.....tell him what you would rather he spend his money on.

Tippychoocks · 17/09/2010 20:55

Suggest he spend it on activities instead? Spensive ones like Legoland?

stoppinattwo · 17/09/2010 20:55

Thats it Scurry....as parents we all understand an hour fishing minibeasts out of a pond or collecting conkers keeps a kids attention more than a pair of trainers....DS does really enjoy freinds company...

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stoppinattwo · 17/09/2010 20:56

Tippy....he would come home with the fraekin legoland shop if he took him there!!!!!

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Tippychoocks · 17/09/2010 20:58

Oh. Was about to suggest you find an activity without a gift shop but then remembered there bloody aren't any!

kelly2525 · 17/09/2010 20:59

Would he like to adopt a grumpy 35yr old pregnant woman?

stoppinattwo · 17/09/2010 21:01

kelly Grin.......I can ask....Wink

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stoppinattwo · 17/09/2010 21:02

Tipy sad but true!!!

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